Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. You make sacrifices, but it’s worth it.

What sacrifices do you make for free help?!

DP but: massively less privacy, they voice more opinions about how to raise our kids, feel entitled to every holiday.

My in laws pick up my kids early from aftercare/daycare almost every day. The benefit is less pressure to make pick up times but we still pay for all the childcare we would otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. You make sacrifices, but it’s worth it.

What sacrifices do you make for free help?!

NP here but we discuss leaving DC to be near my parents in a midwest state and it would definitely mean sacrifices. We'd take steps backwards in our careers, make less money, live in a place that is less progressive and interesting - but, we gain the benefits of close family. It is a hard choice.

Anonymous wrote:Yup. You make sacrifices, but it’s worth it.

What sacrifices do you make for free help?!

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

Are you suggesting thatnshe died just to spite you and not be your maid, babysitter? Your in-laws reared their children and you should rear yours. They owe you nothing!

Anonymous wrote:Additional stable and loving adults in DC lives to expose them to different things, trusted and reliable backup childcare, gives Mom and Dad a break from cooking and ability to go out for date nights or weekends away. No wonder so many people move to be near their parents!

It's just using your parents to do your job. Grandparents are for fun, not to do your housework, cooking or free childcare!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Mine neither. My mom will fly to her boyfriend's grandkids events to make him happy but hasn't been to one meet, practice or recital for my kids. Its really sad. My kids just stopped caring and don't want to see her as she has a clear preference for those kids and the comments she makes are really upsetting.

Anonymous wrote:Even when your kids are in HS, it's really wonderful for them to know their grandparents and be able to see them for more frequent and shorter visits. My parents are in California and we don't get to see them very often. When we do go, the visits can actually be more stressful because we all have such high expectations. OTOH, my husband's parents are 20 minutes away, so we see them often -- they can catch a game of meet for one of the kids or meet us for an impromptu dinner -- and the stakes don't feel as high. If somebody's feeling tired or needs to cut out early to do HW, we can do that without causing hurt feelings or disappointment. DH and I have actually discussed moving to be near our kids when they start families of their own.

What would you do if one kid lived in Seattle and the other kid in Miami? And both started having kids of their own around the same time?

Anonymous wrote:So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

That was my experience as well. I've always been so envious.

My kids too. They hear about grandparents buying their friends Ugg boots for Xmas, Grandpa taking them to a Wizards game, Grandma and Grandpa coming to their sporting events and having their own cheering section, etc. Mine never had that (they're teens now).

Even when your kids are in HS, it's really wonderful for them to know their grandparents and be able to see them for more frequent and shorter visits. My parents are in California and we don't get to see them very often. When we do go, the visits can actually be more stressful because we all have such high expectations. OTOH, my husband's parents are 20 minutes away, so we see them often -- they can catch a game of meet for one of the kids or meet us for an impromptu dinner -- and the stakes don't feel as high. If somebody's feeling tired or needs to cut out early to do HW, we can do that without causing hurt feelings or disappointment. DH and I have actually discussed moving to be near our kids when they start families of their own.

We stayed to be by my parents and they are as go out of their way to be unhelpful and will not even help in an emergency. Depends on the family.

Yes! Most grandparents I know move to be close to grandkids though, not the other way around.

So jealous. My mom is deceased, Dad lives out of town and isn’t helpful. Inlaws are local and friendly enough but not interested in kids.

I know people with TWO sets of helpful grandparents!

We have never had this because of moving for the military. I’m sure it is probably nice.

Yup. You make sacrifices, but it’s worth it.

Additional stable and loving adults in DC lives to expose them to different things, trusted and reliable backup childcare, gives Mom and Dad a break from cooking and ability to go out for date nights or weekends away. No wonder so many people move to be near their parents!