Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 12:51     Subject: In same house but "separated"
Anonymous wrote:We have one DS, age 4. DH and I have separate bedrooms and do separate things when DS is asleep. We eat all meals together. On weekends, we do a family activity day: museum, zoo, climbing gym, etc. and we alternate the other weekend day. DH are somewhat physically affectionate to each other in front of DS: back oats, brief hugs. How does something like this play out long-term? So far DS hasn't asked any questions. We don't plan on getting a divorce or moving out until DS it's in his 20s or maybe not at all because we will be very old and tired by then.


So you're friends in front of your kid. What happens when he gets older and actually notices you don't seem to like each other much? Have you tried to repair the marriage?
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 12:40     Subject: In same house but "separated"
I thought you would say out of HS at most, but you said 20s.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 11:13     Subject: In same house but "separated"
Sounds like my actual marriage.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 10:57     Subject: In same house but "separated"
Anonymous wrote:So you're also having sex I assume...basically this is most marriages!


No not initiate with DH by his choice. But obv don't want DS to know/not know anything about that!
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 09:40     Subject: Re:In same house but "separated"
Please don’t model this dysfunctional relationship for your child.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 08:50     Subject: In same house but "separated"
So you're also having sex I assume...basically this is most marriages!
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 08:50     Subject: In same house but "separated"
Anonymous wrote:kids will figure this out in an instant


And realize mature adults often put their needs 2nd for their child... good.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:48     Subject: In same house but "separated"
kids will figure this out in an instant
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:46     Subject: In same house but "separated"
Lived separately in the same home *
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:46     Subject: In same house but "separated"
My friends whose parents lived separately were miserable as teenagers. Both parents have now remarried, after divorcing finally when kids were adults. Now One child is in her thirties, other is in his forties, neither is married. I think the younger one is at least happy and living a good life. The older one has struggled with anger issues and relationships and career. There is no doubt that their parents’ dysfunctional relationship affected him deeply.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:45     Subject: Re:In same house but "separated"
*unhappy
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:45     Subject: Re:In same house but "separated"
If neither of you are u happy with the arrangement, just keep living your life.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:42     Subject: In same house but "separated"
So you’re not planning on having a normal adult, mature, romantic relationship for the next 16 or so years. Is that correct? You’re just going to be roommates with your child’s father and not connect with any other men for the next two decades.
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:36     Subject: In same house but "separated"
Anonymous wrote:We have one DS, age 4. DH and I have separate bedrooms and do separate things when DS is asleep. We eat all meals together. On weekends, we do a family activity day: museum, zoo, climbing gym, etc. and we alternate the other weekend day. DH are somewhat physically affectionate to each other in front of DS: back oats, brief hugs. How does something like this play out long-term? So far DS hasn't asked any questions. We don't plan on getting a divorce or moving out until DS it's in his 20s or maybe not at all because we will be very old and tired by then.


We've had this arrangement since he was 1 so by now this is status quo
Anonymous
Post 11/10/2019 07:33     Subject: In same house but "separated"
We have one DS, age 4. DH and I have separate bedrooms and do separate things when DS is asleep. We eat all meals together. On weekends, we do a family activity day: museum, zoo, climbing gym, etc. and we alternate the other weekend day. DH are somewhat physically affectionate to each other in front of DS: back oats, brief hugs. How does something like this play out long-term? So far DS hasn't asked any questions. We don't plan on getting a divorce or moving out until DS it's in his 20s or maybe not at all because we will be very old and tired by then.