Anonymous wrote:It's not an ideal response, OP, but you are being too judgmental for your own good. I understand. I can be very judgmental about grammar, spelling, and being a good correspondent.

That said, many very good men are not good at the initial dating phase. In my experience, beware the charming man who is very good at the initial approach.

This guy may or may not be for you. It is unlikely to serve you well to be so drastic as to say that someone who responded to your specific questions should not be on a dating app.

Calm down.

My point isn’t just this one guy, it is a pattern. I did a little poll and I am not the only one that experiences this (polled straight males, gay males and straight women). If you can’t carry a conversation on an app (or at least make an effort), I have zero faith you can handle a conversation in person. I am not someone who expects weeks of texting or phone calls before meeting. If I am not feeling someone after a match and they message me, I literally do not respond.

And this may be harsh, but I just delete these guys now. I have experienced this enough to know it does not turn into anything or their personalities suck in person.

It's not an ideal response, OP, but you are being too judgmental for your own good. I understand. I can be very judgmental about grammar, spelling, and being a good correspondent.

That said, many very good men are not good at the initial dating phase. In my experience, beware the charming man who is very good at the initial approach.

This guy may or may not be for you. It is unlikely to serve you well to be so drastic as to say that someone who responded to your specific questions should not be on a dating app.

Calm down.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they don’t like your choice of podcasts. Maybe that is an indicator for them. No big deal, not everyone is a match.

No, he said he liked podcasts in his profile. I opened the convo with ‘hi, how’s it going? What are your favorite podcasts.’ He gave me two and said nothing else.

OP here - interesting most every thinks I am guy. I am woman and a lot of this happens on Bumble so I have to open the chat.

I find that women on dating apps generally make really low-effort responses no matter how carefully you (the man) design your message to them.

No doubt this is because they get hundreds of responses from men and don't really bother to read most of them, but I also think the general female attitude is that it's your job to entertain them. Dance, monkey, dance!

Sounds like they don’t like your choice of podcasts. Maybe that is an indicator for them. No big deal, not everyone is a match.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot stand people that cannot make any sort of conversation. If you answer with a closed statement, it's hard to continue the conversation. You don't give me anywhere to go.

LOL. Inabiltity to communicate is literally why some people are on these dating sites.

I cannot stand people that cannot make any sort of conversation. If you answer with a closed statement, it's hard to continue the conversation. You don't give me anywhere to go.

The reason is that women tend to get bombarded with messages and men know it. So they just copy-paste the same message to every woman in the hope one will respond.

Not justifying it (and it's not my style), but just telling you why.

That's why you'll see profiles where it has some instruction like "Write the word Banana in the first sentence of your message so I know you read my profile"

I get where you are coming from OP. Dh and I met online 11 years ago. One of the things that set him apart was that the message he sent me indicated he read my profile and picked up on something in it. A lot of guys would do some generic that they likely could copy, paste, and change a tiny detail and send it to multiple women. It's nice when the effort goes both ways.

Maybe they’re into some kind of marketing scheme. Or super ungood at peopling.

I'm thinking "love of podcast" is code for something (hallucinogenic drugs, furry fetish, anal), and when you responded with a literal interpretation, the person wished to dispense with you ASAP.

Op, i feel ya. Online dating is hard. Most people aren't ready to date.

You sound like a jerk- for your reaction to their response and for making a post complaining about it.

Profile: notes a love of podcast

Me: Hey, how’s it going? What’s your favorite podcast

Response: X and Y podcasts


Literally, that was all. No, how was your weekend, what podcast do you like, etc.

Get off the apps or just don’t respond. I tend to default to ‘hey, how’s it going’ because it feels like a waste of energy to find a more meaningful question 50% of the time. Also, if your answer is just ‘good’....delete. You can spin that into more.