A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is not a birthday party. It is a lifecycle event, symbolizing coming of age in Judaism. The mitzvah child has likely spent years learning Hebrew to prepare for their ceremony. They essentially lead the prayer service for their congregation and read from the Torah (ancient scrolls written in Hebrew with no vowels). They also deliver the sermon. I assure you pp, and everyone else who think it is just a big party, it is not.

It is a birthday party for a 13 year old. No more than $30

$36 for a classmate but not close friend. $54 for a classmate that is more than casual and less than a close friend. Anywhere from 72 to 108 or higher for a close friend depending on if the child or the entire family has been invited.

For a kid going solo 54 dollar check is pretty standard.

Sometimes a non Jewish friend who feels awkward giving cash to peers (or I should say- whose family feels awkward about it) does a 50 dollar gift card which is essentially the same thing.

Our child received mostly checks for $54 from friends from school, and $108 from some really good friends. $250 checks were from great aunts and other older relatives. DC could care less how much the checks were, and neither did we - we were happy to share this simcha (joyous occaision) with family and friends.

My child recently had a bat mitzvah and we just deposited the gifts. The most common amount was $54. No friend gave her more than that. Some gave $36. Most families gave more than $54 but no one gave her more than around $250. We much preferred checks and were surprised that she received a lot of cash too.

Anonymous wrote:For an acquaintance it’s genrally $360. If you give less, it’s cheap and people talk

For one kid who is a friend that is attending 360 is way too high. I've spent a lot of time in Manhattan Jewish circles (finance) and even there 360 is way too much for your kid to bring to a friend's bar mitvah.

For an acquaintance it’s genrally $360. If you give less, it’s cheap and people talk

Anonymous wrote:Do you write a check or literally put cash in an envelope?

Check!

Do you write a check or literally put cash in an envelope?

Anonymous wrote:What if multiple family members are attending? whats a decent PP $ amount?

Like a wedding. No less than $180

What if multiple family members are attending? whats a decent PP $ amount?

And we do $54 and others do $36. Pick what feels comfortable for you...

For a child's friend we never give less than a $72 check. More if we're close with the family.

My son is attending a bar mitzvah tomorrow for his friend. How much money do I give? I was told increments of 18? Thanks!