Are you planning for this to be your last baby? Knowing that made it even harder for me to go back to work.

I wonder how much of these feelings for some Moms is that niggling voice in the back of their head that this is their last baby and they are a bit sad about that. Even if it is the right thing, they think this is the last baby and they want to absorb everything about the baby stage.

Therapy is a good thing. Taking things day by day and see how it goes.

This was me. No problem with DD1 and horrible anxiety and panic with DD2. I spent days in a tailspin suffering from back-to-back panic attacks. I was completely blindsided as I did not experience any anxiety with DD1 when I went back to work.

FWIW, I decided to give myself 1 month back to work and if I still didn't feel good about it, I'd quit and we'd figure something else out. I felt 75% better after the first day back and here I am almost a year later and I'm happy to be working. The anticipation was far worse than the reality for me. Hang in there.

I went through that too, OP.

My son had special needs, and it turned out the daycare could not cater to them, so I ended up quitting my job and staying home anyway. Then I stayed home with my second child, and we were all so much happier and relaxed. We lived a very frugal life for a while!

There is no right or wrong answer, OP. Do what feels right for you.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it doesn’t just sound like anxiety. Sounds like you want to give yourself a bit more time. Any chance you can explore other options? Ask a dr to sign off on postpartum health issues and use unpaid leave or whatever options you may have? A few more weeks or even months might have you in a different place.

+1

I think that what you're feeling is normal. Many here can relate. PP has a good point.

Honestly, it doesn’t just sound like anxiety. Sounds like you want to give yourself a bit more time. Any chance you can explore other options? Ask a dr to sign off on postpartum health issues and use unpaid leave or whatever options you may have? A few more weeks or even months might have you in a different place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to talking to therapist.

But there is nothing wrong with feeling attached to your baby and not wanting to send her to daycare at three months (nothing wrong with other people sending their kids to daycare either IF that feels right).

Perhaps, you feel this is your last baby and that is your last chance to be home with the baby. Listen to yourself and explore staying home. It does not mean you're giving up work. You may (or may not) want to go back in a few months, but you would know that you gave yourself a chance to explore staying with the baby longer. It is very natural to feel what you feel. No woman should be forced to be separated with her baby at three months IF it does not feel right to her.

Does it not occur to you most people don't want to put their babies in daycare at 3 months, and would love to stay home longer, but cannot afford to do so? You can cut your Starbucks habit, shop at Walmart and thrift stores, trade the Highlander for a Corolla, and eat rice and beans at home all you want...most likely it's not enough to forgo one whole salary in a household that is, by necessity, dual-income.

This is PP. It does occur to me and makes me incredibly sad. Hence, the words "explore" and "listen to yourself" and "talk to therapist." Sometimes a happy relaxed mom is worth the $$ sacrifice. Again, every situation is different; what I am trying to say that this is not just some irrational anxiety that needs to be medicated; such feelings are pretty normal and need not be dismissed/ shut down.

Nursing hormones made it very hard for me to be away from my babies. As soon as I weaned, the feeling passed. Are you doing things differently this time wrt feeding?

I feel very sad for you OP. My kids are grown but I was able to stay home with them until they were both in school. I advise young women I know now who are contemplating having children to try very hard to put themselves in a financial position to be able to stay home with their babies if they want to. It is hard these days but it is worth it. I hate to see moms (or dads) going through the anguish you are feeling now.

Anonymous wrote:Yes to talking to therapist.

But there is nothing wrong with feeling attached to your baby and not wanting to send her to daycare at three months (nothing wrong with other people sending their kids to daycare either IF that feels right).

Perhaps, you feel this is your last baby and that is your last chance to be home with the baby. Listen to yourself and explore staying home. It does not mean you're giving up work. You may (or may not) want to go back in a few months, but you would know that you gave yourself a chance to explore staying with the baby longer. It is very natural to feel what you feel. No woman should be forced to be separated with her baby at three months IF it does not feel right to her.

Does it not occur to you most people don't want to put their babies in daycare at 3 months, and would love to stay home longer, but cannot afford to do so? You can cut your Starbucks habit, shop at Walmart and thrift stores, trade the Highlander for a Corolla, and eat rice and beans at home all you want...most likely it's not enough to forgo one whole salary in a household that is, by necessity, dual-income.

To add, I have two. I always thought that if I have three I'd just stay home for some time. It is incredibly hard for both parents to work and raise three kids - especially if you are breastfeeding. Be kind to yourself, OP. Listen to yourself. I completely understand and support you.

Yes to talking to therapist.

But there is nothing wrong with feeling attached to your baby and not wanting to send her to daycare at three months (nothing wrong with other people sending their kids to daycare either IF that feels right).

Perhaps, you feel this is your last baby and that is your last chance to be home with the baby. Listen to yourself and explore staying home. It does not mean you're giving up work. You may (or may not) want to go back in a few months, but you would know that you gave yourself a chance to explore staying with the baby longer. It is very natural to feel what you feel. No woman should be forced to be separated with her baby at three months IF it does not feel right to her.

It’s the anxiety talking, and I think you seem to know that. Talk to your therapist, explore meds as appropriate, and realize you will actually both be fine.

Talk to your therapist about this.

Third baby. Working mom since first baby. I love my job and we cannot afford for me to not work anyways.

My two oldest started daycare at 3 months and I was itching to go back both times. Very nice center we love and trust.

Now baby #3 is here and I am in a daily panic about going back to work and sending her to daycare. I go back in two weeks and cannot push it back any further and have had knock out drag fights with DH about just quitting and staying home because being away from
Her makes me feel like we will both die. I never experienced this before and loved my other two just as much I just have this sense of dread.

I m me this is PPA and I’m getting treatment and I’m medicated. Lifelong anxiety issues, this birth has just been the most intense. I can’t imagine feeling much difference in two weeks and literally feel like I may die if I have to leave her and that’s just such an overwhelming and foreign feeling.