What I did was to serve DD her dinner in the same dishes she left after breakfast. She was all ‘Hey! This is dirty and disgusting!!’, and I said yup, it sure is. The expectation thereafter was that she will be served her next meal in whatever she left, and that got fixed quickly. Having a foster puppy that would chew EVERYTHING up has helped get things off the floor, although not necessarily put away in their place.

It’s never worked for me. I’ve tried it for a few days before I just clean it myself. I even said no friends could come over until they cleaned their room and I overheard them telling their friends at school that they couldn’t play because they haven’t cleaned their room. The kid said ,” why don’t you clean it then?” They just don’t care. My kids also don’t seem to care about toys or electronics being taken away at all even when I take the oldest one’s phone away he’ll just go up in his room and sleep.

I found that forbidding screens until things are picked up helped a lot. That means your dishes, trash, laundry, backpack, sneakers, etc. (They already need to do their homework before screens.)

Then I refuse to drive anyone anywhere. I'm lucky that DH usually is not the problem.

I have one kid -- youngest -- who is slower to pick these things up. He will come home from school to his breakfast dishes sitting at his place. That's disgusting and he knows it. He has to wash them by hand and then put them into the dishwasher. Loses screens, sometimes dessert. He does his own laundry at this point. I'm done with his attitude!

They know that if I clean up their rooms, 3/4 of their junk is not coming back.

Sorry, PP here and I really didn't answer your question. I've never done a strike, no. I have done a sweep of toys that weren't cleaned up and put them in some trash bags and hid them for a while. The saddest part was that he barely realized what was missing.

OP -- what would happen if you called a family meeting, stated the problem, asked them to help find a solution / compromise, and set reasonable consequences for failure to comply?

So maybe, you control the wifi password and only if X, Y, and Z are done, they get the password?

BTW, so much of this is just habit building and consistency.

My feeling is that you present 1 problem at a time, work on it until it consistently becomes a habit, and then move on to the next thing.

Example: with my older DS (5), I pretty much physically don't let him leave the table without clearing his dishes first and then washing his hands. When he was littler, he'd try to run away, but I would gently bring him back and say: "You can play after you help clean up". I don't even have to ask him now. Not because he's an amazing, thoughtful kid, but because he did it enough times it's now just what he does.

OP, I'd try just once sitting them down and getting serious and scary about this issue. People don't take it seriously if it's just nagging here or there.

If it doesn't sink in, then go for it with the strike.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go on a "no longer doing laundry" or "no longer cooking any meals for them". Hit them where it hurts. Cook for yourself and do your laundry but nothing for them. They will come around fast!

I forgot. Throw away anything not in it's proper place.

Then you'll just end up buying a lot of new silverware, cups,plates, socks and underwear. It seems like a good idea, but the reality is dn expensive since you can't send kids out nude and you don't want to drink from the faucet while holding your food over a maggot laden sink full of dirty dishes.

Ever hear of paper plates, plastic ware. Let them wear dirty clothes, maybe they'll get the idea. OP is their mother/wife not their maid.

Yes. Didn’t clean his half of the bathroom for six months. He hired a maid. Wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t in a rental at the time. Wasn’t great, but now he agrees that we have enough money for help. How desperate are you?

No. I’m an adult.

Adopt new house rules. If they don't clean up, they do not get to play or go out. Personally, I would take all of their things away, until its clean. Every single time, until it's routine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go on a "no longer doing laundry" or "no longer cooking any meals for them". Hit them where it hurts. Cook for yourself and do your laundry but nothing for them. They will come around fast!

I forgot. Throw away anything not in it's proper place.

Then you'll just end up buying a lot of new silverware, cups,plates, socks and underwear. It seems like a good idea, but the reality is dn expensive since you can't send kids out nude and you don't want to drink from the faucet while holding your food over a maggot laden sink full of dirty dishes.

Anonymous wrote:Go on a "no longer doing laundry" or "no longer cooking any meals for them". Hit them where it hurts. Cook for yourself and do your laundry but nothing for them. They will come around fast!

I forgot. Throw away anything not in it's proper place.

Go on a "no longer doing laundry" or "no longer cooking any meals for them". Hit them where it hurts. Cook for yourself and do your laundry but nothing for them. They will come around fast!

I tried it and it was a major failure. The truth is my husband and 3 kids can live in filth and still live their best life as they say now a days. They arent bothered by it one bit. No plates left? Napkins to put our hot dogs on are fine. No clothes left? They can wear off season and ill fitting clothes no worries. House disgusting and embarrassing? They will still entertain gladly and not worry about a thing. All while my anxiety and type A personality is going insane. I felt disgusting and sooo behind that it wasnt worth it.

I have just about had it with my family's slovenly ways. No one but me seems to care whether the floor or tables are covered in clutter. If someone opens a package, all the packaging is left on the table instead of disposed of. Plates are left when people are finished eating. DH is a slob and the kids have followed his lead.

I have tried many things. I make them come and clean up their messes. I have instituted daily family clean up time. They do clean up then, but reluctantly.

Contrary to what they think, I do not enjoy nagging or reminding people over and over again of their responsibilities. I have just about had it. Even better, they seem to think they do all the work around here, mom doesn't do anything, and that they don't know why I am on them on cleaning, it would be fine without so much putting away.

Fine. No more nagging, and I'm done cleaning up after people (which I do sometimes because it's just easier than getting that person to come back and clean up. Live in clutter and filth if you want to. I'm ok with it. Natural consequences.

Anyone done this and had it work?