We are not religious. My husband made up Dinosaurland. It is where people live before they are born and where they go after they die. They live amongst the dinosaurs. It isn’t wrong...depending on your beliefs. Young children understand that dinosaurs were once here and now they aren’t. Same as humans and other living things that die.

We don't lie to them about it and we talk about it when the situation arises. They've always known my brother is dead (he died before they were born) and when their great grandmother died they said "now she's in heaven with Uncle and Mufasa (from the Lion King)." They cried when our dog died and still ask questions about it (it's been two years), and we just deal with it as it comes up. They've asked when we're going to die or someone else is going to die, and we honestly say we don't know, but hopefully when we/they are very old. They know young people die because of my brother, but it doesn't seem to upset them on a regular basis. It's definitely developmentally normal to ask questions about it, and I've found that, as with anything else (i.e. body parts, sex, whatever), that it's best to always be honest and age-appropriate. I never want my kids to think I lied about something, which is why I'd never tell them that someone won't die until a certain time.

My BIL died and my parents dog died within a month of each other earlier this year when my kid was 3.5. All of our family is local so these were big losses to my kiddo. We told her basically the truth - most people/pets die when they get very old and their bodies don’t work any more, and some times people get the worst kind of sick medicine can’t fix (aka cancer). This has brought up stuff we are still having to sort out (today’s is where is uncle larlo’s body? Where do body’s go when they die?). It’s been hard and some tears, and some awkward family moments when DC’s tone doesn’t fit or she brings up the loss out of the blue to his immediate family (cousin, your daddy died, I miss uncle larlo, or grandma the dog is DEAD). All that to say it sounds like you are saying some of the right stuff and it’s normal in our experience to have tons and tons of processing once the topic of death comes up.

Anonymous wrote:I told my son that you have to be very old, "like 80 or 100" to die (fortunately this was never tested). This helped him to calm down about us or his grandparents dying any time soon. Otherwise I was very factual with his questions. If I recall correctly, this was a short phase.

I don’t know if this is the best approach.

Four year olds are obsessed with death. It’s developmentally appropriate. And sounds like you did great!

There's a great book by Tomie dePaola called Grandma Upstairs, Grandma Downstairs.

It might be helpful for that age even if you're dealing with abstract fears.

NPR had a great article about how to talk with kids about death. Listen to the experts, dont crowdsource

My 4 YO became obsessed with death after the dog died, but it's gotten gradually less obsessive over time (a few months). Like others said, stick to the minimum facts, don't go into details, move on quickly.

Just be factual as possible. Including stressing it is highly unlikely you will die soon. All kids go through a phase where they want to talk about death a lot.

I told my son that you have to be very old, "like 80 or 100" to die (fortunately this was never tested). This helped him to calm down about us or his grandparents dying any time soon. Otherwise I was very factual with his questions. If I recall correctly, this was a short phase.

My DS made similar comments when he was 3 or 4. He talked about moving to where his Grandparents live. I told him that Grandma and Grandpa would love to have him live there. He, very matter of factly stated that his Grandparents are old and are going to die soon. All while playing with his trains.

I laughed because he is most likely right, there is a good chance that his Grandparents will be deceased by the time he is in his early 20's. The idea didn't seem to bother him, it was simple fact.

10-1 your child will move past this in a little bit. Just tell her to not comment on her Grandparents impending doom in front of them, it is not polite.

I think you were fine. Just answer the questions. If you are religious, talk about that. I'm not, so I told my kids that no one knows what happens after death and that they can believe whatever feels right to them.

It probably is true that her great grandmother is objectively old. If my 3 year old said great grandma is going to die soon, I might respond that no one knows when a person is going to die, but great grandma sure has had a wonderful life. I'd share a couple of things about her life, including the fact that great grandma and her kids led to her (unless she's adopted, but even then there is a tie-in). She's not a monster. She's just being factual. Don't liken death to sleep, as that may be scary at bedtime.

I had to talk to DD about death when she was 3, when in quick succession, we lost both our dogs, and her paternal grandfather. I'm an atheist, so I didn't rely on any of the usual stories about heaven, opting instead to approach it from a very simplified E=Mc^2 POV. I told her that when people die, their bodies are no longer with us, but their energy goes into the universe, and will always be around us. That seemed like quite enough.

A year later, a visiting aunt suffered a stroke when she was with us, and passed away a week later. That has stayed with DD a lot longer (we still talk about it, and she's 9), than death that she didn't really get to see.

I don't think you made a mistake. It's true that everyone dies eventually and kids are going to learn that. It's normal for them to go through a period of asking about it/talking about it a lot. My daughter did this when she was 4 or 5--"When are you going to die/When am I going to die/Are grandma and Gramps going to die soon since they are old/What happens when you die/Does it hurt/Why do they bury peoples' bodies in the ground/Will you ever come back." I just try to answer in a straightforward way and acknowledge that it can be scary and sad to think about death, but that when people die we still remember them and love them.

The topic of death came up in our house recently. For some stupid reason I made the mistake of telling my 3 year old that everyone dies, eventually. At the time there was a reasonable explanation for making the statement, but I've since come to regret it.

My 3 year old is now constantly asking about death and talking about how we're all going to die. She told me this morning that my grandmother is really old and is going to die soon.

I've created a monster. What do you guys tell your kids about death? How would you approach the situation if your child were obsessed with death?whatsapp web 192.168.0.1 routerlogin