We went to one ice skating party when my DD was 5, and they did have an instructor for a bit (but the area wasn't roped off). Then they all went off to skate. Thankfully, a couple of the older girls there (8-9ish) skated around with her. This was in Fairfax, fwiw.

I declined a winter swimming party when she was 4 and couldn't swim. I had an infant and DH wasn't around to go in the pool with her so I declined. She complained about it for a while but I know I made the right choice.

Anonymous wrote:My uncoordinated 4 yo was invited to a skating (ice) birthday party. I stupidly RSVPD yes and then scrolled down further on the invite where it said “no skating aids are available”. So...what now? I ABHOR ice skating and can barely keep myself up without clinging to the edge. To make matters worse, my kid actually HAS a skating lesson the week prior where I’m certain he will get to use a little skater aid so he’ll be really reluctant. Maybe DH would get on the ice with DS but it’s doubtful. Is parent participation expected at ice skating parties? Or do they just let the kids get out there and fall?

No lesson I've ever seen (and dear lord, I have watched a lot of beginner skating lessons!) has included the use of the skate aids. They put the kids out on the ice and teaching them how to skate unassisted.

At that age, you do have to skate with them if there aren't aids available. If neither you or your husband are willing to do that, just say no to the party.

I've always just skated with my daughter, and it's kind of fun.
I'm a decent skater, but I definitely felt it in my back afterward - daughter needed more support on the ice than on roller skates.

Took my two kids (teen and tween) to the rink because they were begging to go for some reason. I don't ice skate. I demanded my 10-year-old wear a bike helmet. She didn't want to, but she did. Well, she tripped and fell face first on the ice. She cut open her lip and had blood running down her face.

I shudder to think what would have happened without that helmet. She could have broken her nose, or her teeth.

I would not send my 4-year-old to ice skate without an adult holding her hand. Nope. I would cancel.

Anonymous wrote:Argh you are confirming my worst fears. And she’s a good friend I don’t get to see much!

Arrange to see her at another time, just her -- without your kids or hers there. Spouses can look after kids while you get coffee at the weekend sometime. Even once every few months helps. Getting together with adult friends when you both have young kids can be tough but IS doable if it's scheduled and if spouses are reliable about helping make it happen. Make that effort now, and as the kids get older it gets easier and you'll have maintained a friendship that will still be there for you once the kids' activities etc. give you more time.
--Signed, "been there, and really appreciated the friends who kept calling to set up those occasional coffees"

At the parties we’ve been to, they block off half the rink. And the kids don’t fall much—their centers of gravity are low and it’s amazing how they do. It’s a great age to learn to skate. As a nonskating parent I stay on the side but there are usually a couple parents who are good and skate with the kids.

Anonymous wrote:A 4 year old? That's ridiculous. I say cancel.

+1

The parents chose a type of activity that's not appropriate for children this age who don't already at least know how to stay upright on skates. No support aids? No instructor doing a kid-friendly lesson in a roped-off area of the ice? Tell the parents oops, turns out you goofed by replying yes and can't make it that day. Don't over-explain or they'll just get defensive or embarrassed. "Sorry but I didn't realize we have a family event that same day." It's true because you will be...with your kid doing something that won't end in frustration and stress.

Your child is still young enough that you can not go and your child shouldn't throw a fit about missing out. Do something your kid enjoys as a distraction.

Argh you are confirming my worst fears. And she’s a good friend I don’t get to see much!

Anonymous wrote:I have not seen a skating party where they didn't block off part of the rink for the kids and have instructors teaching them. None of my kids learned with those walker things, I don't think those are necessary at all. Ask the host of the party if the rink will be partitioned off for just the party and if there is an instructor doing a lesson. I can't imagine anything else for a 4 yr old's party.

Interesting...I’ve never seen a skating party where the kids weren’t just thrown on the ice with the public skate. A non skating 4 year old should not be on the ice alone at a public skate—dangerous and the kid will be miserable.

Anonymous wrote:Cancel, my then 5 year old fell down skating and a stupid adult ran into her with his skate blade ending in an ER trip.

“Stupid” adult?

I have not seen a skating party where they didn't block off part of the rink for the kids and have instructors teaching them. None of my kids learned with those walker things, I don't think those are necessary at all. Ask the host of the party if the rink will be partitioned off for just the party and if there is an instructor doing a lesson. I can't imagine anything else for a 4 yr old's party.

Cancel, my then 5 year old fell down skating and a stupid adult ran into her with his skate blade ending in an ER trip.

A 4 year old? That's ridiculous. I say cancel.

My advice is to dig out snow pants and snow gloves. The extra padding helps make the fall not hurt plus once their hands and bottom get cold/wet, they are unhappy.

My uncoordinated 4 yo was invited to a skating (ice) birthday party. I stupidly RSVPD yes and then scrolled down further on the invite where it said “no skating aids are available”. So...what now? I ABHOR ice skating and can barely keep myself up without clinging to the edge. To make matters worse, my kid actually HAS a skating lesson the week prior where I’m certain he will get to use a little skater aid so he’ll be really reluctant. Maybe DH would get on the ice with DS but it’s doubtful. Is parent participation expected at ice skating parties? Or do they just let the kids get out there and fall?