What you need to do is talk to her about what she likes and explore together in a respectful, safe and fun way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So: Submit to women in every part of life. But in the bedroom, fu*k the hell out of them.

Noted.

Pretty much, unless she's into being the dom.

Wow you got this all wrong.

What have I got wrong? I don't necessarily want DH to submit to me in everything outside the bedroom. I do actually want a partner in all aspects, but I do want DH to be a bit more dominant in the BR.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So: Submit to women in every part of life. But in the bedroom, fu*k the hell out of them.

Noted.

Pretty much, unless she's into being the dom.

Wow you got this all wrong.

My husband manages to respect me and get the job done. It can be done.

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

Anonymous wrote:So: Submit to women in every part of life. But in the bedroom, fu*k the hell out of them.

Noted.

Pretty much, unless she's into being the dom.

Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

So: Submit to women in every part of life. But in the bedroom, fu*k the hell out of them.

Noted.

Lizard brain wants the pushy asshole.
Mammal brain wants the respectful co-partner.

Take away for guys: if you want to have sex, be the former. If you want to have pleasant conversation, be the latter.

I like a man in the bedroom. Always! I want to lose control of reality when I have sex. Not in a dom/sub way at all. And I don't mean vanilla/starfish sex either. Make it hot and I'm all over you! BJs are forthcoming regardless, but please make me want to be starved for you. I don't need emotional intensity, I need physical intensity with subtle gentle touches to fill in for the emotional part.

Wow, now I want to have that kind of sex. DH treats me like a porcelain doll in the bedroom. I do love him for this but c'mon man!

That is bullshit. I would rather HE do the dishes, maybe. I never want to do the damn dishes! I have to, because no one else will.

Anonymous wrote:No woman wants a beta, even feminists.

end of thread.

No woman wants a beta, even feminists.

Huh, man here and I thought it was universally known that women were turned on by novelty and being desired

From Psychology TOday
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/darwins-subterranean-world/201910/the-end-sex

A few tidbits:


"In spite of these many hard-fought liberties for all genders, in some surprising and very significant ways, sex has become more complicated. In the privacy of our respective psychological medical practices, we regularly hear women say, “In the bedroom, he is passive. Almost meek. It’s hard to respect him, let alone have sex with him!” Or, “He’s so cautious and hesitant in the bedroom! It’s such a turnoff.”


"Outside of sexual role play in certain fetishistic circles, for most women, there is no pleasure in sexually dominating a weaker partner. For women in long-term, committed relationships, the exquisite feeling of sexual surrender may paradoxically be more likely to unfold with men who express their sensuality in a more bold, self-assured style—literally, when she’s not the strongest force in the bedroom.

The truth is that modern women enjoy the more lusty, primal aspects of love-making. Polite sex holds little interest for them—they’d rather do the dishes."

The authors only provide anecdotes that women feel this way. I'm skeptical, sounds like some Red Pill logic. But I'm curious what the women of DCUM think.

Are today's men so meek and passive that it is a turn off?