I’m divorced and dating a man who is divorced. We both have young kids and will be introducing the whole concept at the year mark. I have to ask you- why are you in such a hurry? I get that he’s moving in a year, but you don’t need to be engaged for a year. Are there any other warning signs?

Don’t change anything in your life for this man. You have a young child and good income. The odds of the two of you divorcing if you get married are high especially because it’d be on a forced timeline. Break it off. Sorry.

He’s not the one for you. People have dealbreakers which is perfectly ok. Don’t get married just so your child can have a “dad.” It’s not with it to be unhappy.

I’m, break it off now. ASAP. Before you’re too involved.

Anonymous wrote:GTFO NOW. He's probably sleeping with other people and has been the entire time you've been together...

I sort of agree with this.

One year has been wasted on him.

It seems you’re looking for reasons to break up.

Leave now! Take care of yourself and your son!

GTFO NOW. He's probably sleeping with other people and has been the entire time you've been together...

Better to find out now about your BF than after its too late. Let him go.

Yep, he's not ready. Move on. He's still exploring.

Anonymous wrote:If he really wanted to commit to you, you'd know it. Cut bait. He's testing to see what he can get away with.

OP here. Sadly, that's my interpretation as well.

If he really wanted to commit to you, you'd know it. Cut bait. He's testing to see what he can get away with.

I suggest you lighten up.

...and I'm not into it. Am also feeling sad, as it's yet another in a series of indicators that we're not on the same page.

We're both divorced parents; him x 7 years, me x 3 years. His kids are teens, I have one 6 yo DS. We've dated for a year, it's gone well, met each other's children around month 8. And in the last 3 months things seem to have stalled.

I've made it clear that I want to get married again, that with a young child it's a priority for me. He was less emphatic about that but understood my position. He needs to move in the next year for his job and I explained that with children involved, we'd need to be engaged before I moved anywhere with my child. He's brought up multiple geographic locales; I entertain the conversations briefly but firmly circle back to my original position: no ring, no move. Sorry to be a hardliner, but I have a lucrative job that I enjoy here in Washington. DS's dad is (unfortunately) uninvolved so that does not prevent a move, but if/until I merge households my financial independence is crucial. Even after a merge, it's crucial. Anyway we've navigated the conversations with maturity and they've gone well. Now this.

Since I'll be asked, I'm high drive and our sex life is pretty intense. I might even be open to his suggestion somewhere down the road. But at 1 year, with kids involved, before we're permanently committed? I feel stung and like I may need to step back from all of this. I'm looking at the math and it's not adding up to the likelihood of success.

His answer when I asked why he sent me the article: "I was just sharing". Sure you were, buddy.

I know the answer here: this is what dating is for, move on, etc. People dating in their 40's with kids will get it: cutting bait at the year mark is sometimes necessary. But it sucks.