Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

Maybe enough time has passed, but when that book first came out I heard many examples that used "he's just not that into you" to explain why some guy didn't spend thousands on gifts, dinners, vacations, etc. Basically, if you don't get exactly what you want all the time, he's just not that into you.

I don’t want to sound cruel, but the simple truth is he’s not into you. Men don’t make it a secret when they adore a woman and don’t want to lose her. In fact, they make it glaringly obvious. Time for you to forget him and move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

If you have a minimum of respect for others, you should at least say a few words. I can't stand people who think ghosting is normal.

Why do men do that?

Women do that, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

This. Such a simple premise, and yet so helpful. It doesn’t really matter why he did it. Time to move on.

If only it was so easy to maturely accept the fact and move on. Another point for op to consider: a person who ghosts you isn't worthy of another thought.

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

This. Such a simple premise, and yet so helpful. It doesn’t really matter why he did it. Time to move on.

Maybe he was dating someone else at the same time and decided to commit to her. I definitely ghosted a guy or two for that kind of reason back in my dating days.

Were you intimate? If not, maybe that's why he ghosted

Anonymous wrote:He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

I lived by that book when I was single and most of the time it served me really well, except I ended up blowing off the guy I really wanted because he "didn't move mountains" for me. Years later we talked and I found out he was actually crazy about me, he was just insanely shy and thought I wasn't interested.

Who knows, maybe we would have gotten together and not worked out, but sometimes the wondering of what could have been drives me nuts.

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

You are casually dating. Five dates is not a relationship. He does not owe a reason after 5 dates. Nor do you. He's just not that into you.

Honestly even up to 8 - 10 - 12 dates is casual dating.

Have low expectations. Enjoy the dates. Dating should be light, enjoyable, low pressure. etc.

Five dates is still casually dating, meeting other people, non exclusive etc. He does not owe you any explanation nor would you in the reverse situation

signed, a woman

He decided you weren't what he was looking for, which is fine.

Ghosting is a dick move, though, especially if you slept together. He's either a jerk or lacks basic skills in handling conflict and emotional situations. Either way, you win.

He’s just not that into you.
That book came out after I was married but I think somehow that very simple concept would have changed my dating life. I don’t know why we look for complicated reasons and justifications. The reason is pretty much always he’s just not that into you and you should move on and find someone who is. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?

Not working for the other party for whatever reason and it’s not just men.

Usually they catch an odor. Hygiene is super important in the beginning

I went on what I thought were 5 great dates: constant easy, engaging conversation and good physical chemistry then all of a sudden he disappears. Why do men do that?