I just don’t relax at the end of the day. I clean and clean. My kids (3 and 1) also are good at cleaning. Even the 1 year old puts toys in the right bins. There’s no secret.

My DH is a neat freak who likes to clean. He usually cleans for a half an hour a day.

OP here. This is helpful. Thanks.

The kids' rooms are not a major issue. They mostly play in the common spaces, and their rooms are actually pretty clean.

The main issues are dishes, laundry, mail/school announcements/paper clutter, and toys. I do the laundry, but then we never get to putting it away, and it ends up in piles on the bedroom floor because we mean to put it away and don't get to it. We also start projects that we never end up having time or energy to finish -- we never finished painting out bedroom even though we started months ago, we have files sitting out that DH started going through and then stopped, there are piles of things that need to be carried upstairs or downstairs or gotten rid of, etc.

It just feels like we can't work on this sort of thing when the kids are around, but the only time we have without them is when they are finally in bed (at 9pm or so for the older), and by that point, we're exhausted and just want an hour or so to chill out before going to bed ourselves. Our youngest isn't a baby anymore but still wakes up at least once a night frequently, and it's just enough to ruin my REM sleep and make us all feel even more exhausted. I know things will be better in a few years, but I'm so frustrated with the mess and the exhaustion and lack of time!

Anonymous wrote:I lower my standards.

I came here to say this.

This helps:

https://www.boringcompany.com/not-a-flamethrower

Anonymous wrote:I lower my standards.

This! I read somewhere that, “A clean home is supposed to set the stage for your life to happen. Cleaning your home isn’t supposed to BE your life.”

I also love this post from crappy pictures:

http://crappypictures.com/house-tour-with-amber-of-crappy-pictures/

I no longer care about whether their rooms are clean on a daily basis. Most of the time, I just close their doors.

Purge relentlessly. If I’m folding laundry, and I fold something that looks too small, I put it in a bag to donate right then. Same with toys I’m cleaning up. I throw most mail away right away and don’t keep much that comes home from school.

I run the dishwasher almost every night and unload it as I make breakfast in the morning. This way dishes won’t pile up.

I make our bed every morning as soon as I get out of bed. Makes a big difference.

I do smaller loads of laundry now. Makes it easier to fold them and put them away immediately.

I clean kitchen counters and straighten our living room before we go to bed every night and again before I leave for work in the morning.

It’s an uphill battle and I don’t always accomplish it all, but when I do it makes a big difference in our stress level. I’m the person who cares most about the house being tidy so I’m the one it falls to.

Roomba, lower standards and I make the kids clean up their stuff before bed. House still isn’t up to my previous standards but I’m usually not mortified when people drop by.

Baskets everywhere to hide stuff. Throw stuff away constantly. Cleaning help.

I throw stuff away.

(And I lowermy standards.) But getting rid of stuff is the easiest way to have a cleaner house.

Anonymous wrote:I lower my standards.

OMG, so true! My home used to be impeccable: no clutter, clean surfaces, etc. Think northern European Design Catalog. Well... it's all over now. What does help a lot is to de-clutter regularly. Also, I straighten up the kids' play area every evening. No matter how tired I am. I know that the chaos will ensue in the morning, but starting every day with a clean slate (pun intended) helps. I also try to engage my kids in cleaning activities, now that they are preschoolers.

Get rid of stuff. Pick out toys your kids don’t play with and hide them. If they don’t notice for a couple weeks, donate them. Or have them pick out toys to give to a younger neighbor/cousin/friend. My kids are very into this.

Also teach them to clean. We work together and have consequences. For example, your room needs to be picked up and if we don’t do it quickly we won’t have time to read books before bed.

It sounds like you might have too much stuff. Rotate the toys and activities. Put at least half of it away, then swap it out in a few months for the stuff that you leave out. And get your kids to put their stuff away, and then spend 10 minutes cleaning at the end of the day. (It's only 10 minutes and makes a huge difference!)

I lower my standards.

I'm so exhausted with trying to keep our house decent looking. Our kids are constantly making messes, I'm too tired to clean much after work and spending time with the kids, and it just piles up. It feels insurmountable now, and I fear that even if I could get things organized, the chaos will just return in no time. I'm about to take on a new, more stressful role at work, and I know it's only going to make things worse. How do I manage all the stuff and dirt and constant need to be putting something away? Sometimes I just want to relax at the end of the day...

What works for you? I know this isn't something that comes naturally to me (and DH even less so), so i need simple things that will actually work to help us!