Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:39     Subject: Re:Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

Anonymous wrote:I think you are exaggerating and setting your kid up to feel self conscious. She is only 4, so I assume she is in your care most of the time. You said the side effect is more hunger so she eats more and gains weight, this is how everyone puts on weight. The key is to give her healthy food when she is hungry. Occasional treats are fine. How often is she around huge pieces of cake and lollipops. ( You would have to eat an awful lot of lollipops to cause weight gain btw)

I have a large child, not overweight but solid and she loves to eat. We eat healthy meals 90% of the time and mostly healthy snacks. I let it go when she is with other people. You will drive yourself crazy and drive your kid to hide things from you.


Do you really think you are better qualified to opine on this than the MDs (and other medical professionals) that OP has spoken to? Even if you were a doctor, which you are likely not, you have very little to go on to offer your "diagnosis."
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:35     Subject: Re:Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

I think you are exaggerating and setting your kid up to feel self conscious. She is only 4, so I assume she is in your care most of the time. You said the side effect is more hunger so she eats more and gains weight, this is how everyone puts on weight. The key is to give her healthy food when she is hungry. Occasional treats are fine. How often is she around huge pieces of cake and lollipops. ( You would have to eat an awful lot of lollipops to cause weight gain btw)

I have a large child, not overweight but solid and she loves to eat. We eat healthy meals 90% of the time and mostly healthy snacks. I let it go when she is with other people. You will drive yourself crazy and drive your kid to hide things from you.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:29     Subject: Re:Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

As the parent of one of those string beans, if you told me "Larla has a medical condition that requires a special diet. We are trying to keep things as normal as possible for her, but if you could check in with me before you give her food that would be great" I would completely respect that and follow your instructions.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:27     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

If you explain the situation a little more clearly you may get better advice. Does she gain weight more easily from a normal number of calories, or does she not feel satiety normally and therefore eat a lot more than normal? Because if she can have one cupcake at school I don’t see why she can’t have one cupcake with Grandma — obviously you know the situation better than I do, so please explain it to me!
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:24     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

Of course they’re going to treat her like their own children if they don’t know any better.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:21     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

Anonymous wrote:I’m bordering on crazy control freak mom. What’s a nice way to handle this in advance?

DD is 4 and has a metabolic disorder. One side effect is increased appetite which causes rapid weight gain. She doesn’t quite understand but we are working with doctors, child psychologist, dietitian and a plan to manage the weight while they get medical condition under control. We caught it early so with (a lot of) work, DD can have normal quality of life and get ahead of complications.

Our dietitian has a plan that allows for normal kid things like a cupcake at a birthday party, work around snack at preschool etc. The goal is to feel normal and not restricted but manage everything else.

That said -she’s still 4. Other parents, grandparents etc are making this 1000X harder. Giving her extra cake when we aren’t looking, offering lollipops, juice, huge portions and treating her like their kids who are stringbeans that subsist on chicken nuggets and goldfish.

What’s a nice way to say: I know you mean well, but Larla has a medical condition please don’t give her extra cake or please ask me first.

The dietitian said to make it sound like a life or death allergy.

I went crazy the other day. Not my finest hour... I’m going to therapy for it too..


I don't know how you treat it as a life or death allergy when you say she can have one cupcake, but not more. That will confuse people and probably cause them to think you are exaggerating and may make it more likely they ignore you. Plus, I don't think it is a good thing to lie about something like that.

I would be direct. I would say she has a medical condition that requires you to monitor her food more carefully than normal. I'd ask people to check with you before offering her something.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:17     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

Anonymous wrote:I think you can tell the truth. I have a 4 year old and would never consider that my child’s friends could have such a disorder, but would honor the wishes of any parent who brought it up. Any reasonable person would.


+1

Parents understand peanut allergies, milk/dairy allergies and intolerance. Parents understand about lots of special diet restrictions, whether out of preference, or medical issues, or religion, or anything. Be direct and say that she has a special medical diet and to feed her X or not feed her Y.

As she gets older, you'll have to teach her this. My kids have learned to politely refuse milk and other specific food, and know which of their friends are allergic to nuts or chocolate or whatever.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:16     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

Knowing which disorder would help me give advice.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:14     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

Anonymous wrote:What kind of metabolic disorder can a four-year-old have that causes increased appetite?


I know about Prader Willi and I'm sure there are many others.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:12     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

"Is your goal to kill her?"
"Can you explain why you keep choosing to harm our child?"
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:12     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

I think you need to be direct, yet neutral and not worry about nice. This is a health and behavioral issue, not just a preference, though I think those should be respected too.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:10     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

“Please don’t feed her extra food. She’s on a special diet.” No reason to go ballistic. Or just “ don’t give her extra food, please”
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:09     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

I think you can tell the truth. I have a 4 year old and would never consider that my child’s friends could have such a disorder, but would honor the wishes of any parent who brought it up. Any reasonable person would.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:08     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

What kind of metabolic disorder can a four-year-old have that causes increased appetite?
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 15:07     Subject: Stop! Don’t feed the...kid! Nice way to handle?

I’m bordering on crazy control freak mom. What’s a nice way to handle this in advance?

DD is 4 and has a metabolic disorder. One side effect is increased appetite which causes rapid weight gain. She doesn’t quite understand but we are working with doctors, child psychologist, dietitian and a plan to manage the weight while they get medical condition under control. We caught it early so with (a lot of) work, DD can have normal quality of life and get ahead of complications.

Our dietitian has a plan that allows for normal kid things like a cupcake at a birthday party, work around snack at preschool etc. The goal is to feel normal and not restricted but manage everything else.

That said -she’s still 4. Other parents, grandparents etc are making this 1000X harder. Giving her extra cake when we aren’t looking, offering lollipops, juice, huge portions and treating her like their kids who are stringbeans that subsist on chicken nuggets and goldfish.

What’s a nice way to say: I know you mean well, but Larla has a medical condition please don’t give her extra cake or please ask me first.

The dietitian said to make it sound like a life or death allergy.

I went crazy the other day. Not my finest hour... I’m going to therapy for it too..