You need to get better at this OP, because girlfriend is gonna have a baby shower for every pregnancy.

Money is not tight; you’re a friend(?). Just do it, who cares.

Frankly I think it's insane to spend this kind of money to celebrate someone's first wedding, so I'd say you are well within your rights to just say "can't make it, have fun." And if she pushes you - just repeat.

What does her parental status have to do with this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't be honest. There is no need to be. "Sorry Jane. Money is a bit tight right now so I can't do the whole bachelorette/planning a shower thing. I'm looking forward to the wedding though!"

OP here. That’s the thing. Money isn’t tight, so that would be a white lie...

Who cares? No one can tell you how to spend your money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't Lie. Just say, no, I can't make it. Jesus. What is with all you casual liars? Yes, I lie, everybody lies. But this sort of $hit isn't worth it. Just don't explain.

OP here. So you just say, “No, I can’t make it” and no one ever asks you follow up questions? I find this hard to believe.

Who cares? You done have to reply. Who gets verbal invitations anyway? Wedding or shower invites are paper. A party might be a text. A hugely sad oh, no I'm so sorry i can't make it that day should alleviate some follow up. If they push, you say i have a commitment. Which is true, you have a commitment to yourself and sanity. Or just repeat I'm sorry. Enough dodging and the alert will feel awkward and stop.

You need to reverse your thinking. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable. She shouldn’t be asking you (and others) to participate in a second marriage bachelorette party. Just say no.

Anonymous wrote:Don't Lie. Just say, no, I can't make it. Jesus. What is with all you casual liars? Yes, I lie, everybody lies. But this sort of $hit isn't worth it. Just don't explain.

OP here. So you just say, “No, I can’t make it” and no one ever asks you follow up questions? I find this hard to believe.

Anonymous wrote:Don't be honest. There is no need to be. "Sorry Jane. Money is a bit tight right now so I can't do the whole bachelorette/planning a shower thing. I'm looking forward to the wedding though!"

OP here. That’s the thing. Money isn’t tight, so that would be a white lie...

Anonymous wrote:She's a divorcee remarrying, not a bachelorette.

Say you would enjoy being a guest of the wedding, but you cannot commit to being a member of the wedding party. No other explanation needed. Realistically, friends come and go.

OP never said she was asked to be in the wedding.

Reading is hard.

She's a divorcee remarrying, not a bachelorette.

Say you would enjoy being a guest of the wedding, but you cannot commit to being a member of the wedding party. No other explanation needed. Realistically, friends come and go.

Don't Lie. Just say, no, I can't make it. Jesus. What is with all you casual liars? Yes, I lie, everybody lies. But this sort of $hit isn't worth it. Just don't explain.

It’s pretty insensitive on her part to expect her friends to go all in a second time. It may be a reason her first marriage ended.

Don't be honest. There is no need to be. "Sorry Jane. Money is a bit tight right now so I can't do the whole bachelorette/planning a shower thing. I'm looking forward to the wedding though!"

A close friend is getting married for the second time (no kids from first marriage) and wants to do the whole bachelorette party, shower, large wedding thing again. It’s his first wedding. But I feel like I already spent $$$$ on her first wedding. What’s the best way to say no? Even if I come up with a white lie, I think she might suspect the truth, so should I just be honest?