Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 13:40     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:

If you think in terms of "starter" marriage, then I wonder why you're surprised that it's ending.

Exactly.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 13:17     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Of not, consider yourself lucky and free!


Exactly. You drank the marriage KoolAid like many of us, but fortunately you survived, and now you can live your life as an actual person with hopes and dreams. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones!

You don't need anyone. No one does.

Actually, you don't need any "one", but you do need people, community. Community will support you. Where people fall back, others will step forward. Nurture your family relationships and friendships and you'll be a lot better off. Putting all your eggs in one basket is a recipe for disaster.

OP, do NOT get right into another relationship... even if you are worried about your biological clock. Get into therapy first so you can figure out what happened and figure out how to nurture yourself and get to a good place. Only then could you be part of a healthy relationship.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 13:14     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"


If you think in terms of "starter" marriage, then I wonder why you're surprised that it's ending.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 13:10     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As my marriage crumbles down around me due to a toxic mix of emotional abuse, immaturity and infidelity I am...crushed. All my hopes and dreams beaten down. I know we must separate but I feel so disillusioned by love and marriage. I used to be such a romantic. My short marriage ended up becoming a living nightmare. I want to throw up when I think of men. But I also feel so jealous when I see other seemingly happy couples. Will I ever be ok again?


I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Are you in therapy? I have found it helpful to examine the relationship from the beginning to the end to see if there were signs you missed that he would turn out to be this person.


Yeah, if you can’t see this coming it will repeat.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 12:22     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:As my marriage crumbles down around me due to a toxic mix of emotional abuse, immaturity and infidelity I am...crushed. All my hopes and dreams beaten down. I know we must separate but I feel so disillusioned by love and marriage. I used to be such a romantic. My short marriage ended up becoming a living nightmare. I want to throw up when I think of men. But I also feel so jealous when I see other seemingly happy couples. Will I ever be ok again?


I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Are you in therapy? I have found it helpful to examine the relationship from the beginning to the end to see if there were signs you missed that he would turn out to be this person.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 12:07     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Think of Taylor Swift, and just shake it off.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 10:11     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Of not, consider yourself lucky and free!


Exactly. You drank the marriage KoolAid like many of us, but fortunately you survived, and now you can live your life as an actual person with hopes and dreams. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones!

You don't need anyone. No one does.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:47     Subject: Re:Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Of course what you’re going through is painful and makes you sad. Of course you’re worried about what your future will look like. That’s all normal. However, there is a better life waiting for you. Your future is much brighter than these darkest days.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:43     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Of not, consider yourself lucky and free!


No kids. I am 31.


You will be fine and it's still a good age to be rid of him and start over so better now than in 10 years.

Also, don't be so sure all those marriages around you are happy. Some are some aren't.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:39     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Of not, consider yourself lucky and free!


No kids. I am 31.


You will be fine - in fact better than before. But it will take time and patience, and what you're currently feeling is entirely rational. Focus on being kind to yourself - hugs.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:36     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Of not, consider yourself lucky and free!


No kids. I am 31.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:35     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
Do you have kids? Of not, consider yourself lucky and free!
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:35     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
How old are you, op? I'm sure this seems like the end of the world, but trust us old folks, someday you'll look back at this time and feel grateful that you were able to get out and move on with your life. I am sure much better things lay ahead for you. Big hugs from an old lady.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:33     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
You will be, but you need therapy to get there
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2019 09:32     Subject: Heartbreaking end of "starter marriage"
As my marriage crumbles down around me due to a toxic mix of emotional abuse, immaturity and infidelity I am...crushed. All my hopes and dreams beaten down. I know we must separate but I feel so disillusioned by love and marriage. I used to be such a romantic. My short marriage ended up becoming a living nightmare. I want to throw up when I think of men. But I also feel so jealous when I see other seemingly happy couples. Will I ever be ok again?