There's a backstory we're not getting here. OP, are you telling us everything we need to know?

I'm 64 and yes I think people should show respect to the elderly but also the elderly - that is, us! - need to show respect to others, regardless of age. Are you showing that respect or are you using old age as an excuse not to listen to the concerns of members of your family?

On the other hand, are the members of your family walking all over you because you have a hard time setting limits and speaking up for yourself? In that case, I would suggest working with a therapist in order to learn how to make your needs explicit and speak up. That's another case where you won't get respect just because you're old. You have to set limits with folks.

Good luck, OP - I hope whatever is going on that you make some progress in winning the respect you want.

I am trying to puzzle out the connection between vulnerability and deference, and failing. Can you help me?

It sounds like you want to be recognized as weak and vulnerable while at the same time deferred to as a strong authority and head of the family. It doesn't work like that. And this all sounds like role-playing for you. Do you actually feel weak and vulnerable? What are your actual vulnerabilities? On what basis should your family defer to you? Stop roleplaying and start interacting with your family on a more organic basis.

Anonymous wrote:Statistically speaking, you are more vulnerable to con games and scams, whether on the internet or by phone. You are more vulnerable to pneumococcal pneumonia. You probably don't sleep as well as you used to, and you are more sensitive to drafts. You likely are losing hearing in certain ranges.

If you are arguing that you should be afforded the seat nearest the fireplace, wrapped in a warm blanket, wearing a mask, and accessorized with an ear trumpet but not allowed access to the home WiFi, then yes, I am backing you 100%.

Agreed. Also they should manage your money, Grandpa.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need to be put out to pasture

I was gonna say take that long walk into the woods with a shotgun, or go find an ice floe to sit on with no coat on, but your way sounds gentler.

Sure! I assume you’ll also agree that your vulnerability allows them to act on your behalf, in your best interest. Have you executed power of attorney?

Statistically speaking, you are more vulnerable to con games and scams, whether on the internet or by phone. You are more vulnerable to pneumococcal pneumonia. You probably don't sleep as well as you used to, and you are more sensitive to drafts. You likely are losing hearing in certain ranges.

If you are arguing that you should be afforded the seat nearest the fireplace, wrapped in a warm blanket, wearing a mask, and accessorized with an ear trumpet but not allowed access to the home WiFi, then yes, I am backing you 100%.

Sounds like you need to be put out to pasture

Why are you the head?

You need to earn respect by your actions not your age.

Deference for what?

Deference?

Why are you asking this question, op?

Vulnerable to what?

I'm a senior citizen and the head of the family. Since my younger wife and teen children have a more expansive and promising future ahead of them I think I am the most vulnerable family member due to my older age and should be accorded due deference. Do you agree?