I represented myself in my divorce in DC. Am a lawyer but have no knowledge of family law etc. DC actually has a lot of resources to help unrepresented people through a divorce. In my case, kids got their own lawyers appointed by the court and my ex underwent a court-ordered psych eval that came back as him being unfit to parent due to mental illness

So it all worked out in the end but that experience of a 6 day trial was still hell! Instead of money it cost me lots in time, stress, etc.

I would do it again but you have to be really scrappy to survive DC family court

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer and I think there are a few things that make representing yourself difficult.

First, knowing the rules of evidence. You may get lucky and get a judge who lets a lot of things slide or you may not. I think it would be difficult to learn all of the rules of evidence.

Second, when you are not a repeat player in the game (i.e. a lawyer who regularly practices) there is little incentive for the other side not to pull a fast one on you. There are some ethically challenged lawyers in the area of family law.

Third, knowing the preferences and arguments that work for the judge you go before. You could possibly get briefed on this by an attorney that you consulted with.

Fourth, preserving objections for appeal. A lot of people screw this up.

+1000.

Anonymous wrote:There is one lawyer I know of that is a legal consultant; works by referral mostly, and you pay for access to secure record-keeping, help with document preparation, trial prep, and you get templates. You do the work. You do the filing, you write out the motions, you do the planning. You are by yourself in the courtroom. You have a support team available answering the questions and giving guidance - but it’s at a much, mich, much cheaper rate. Like $5K and if you end up wanting to use them to represent you, you can hire them at anytime, and they give you the cost for everything detailed, up front so you know how to financially prepare.

It’s her private practice, not a huge firm or anything, and this is in the dc area. The friend in my example didn’t use this service - she went over books for hours in legal libraries.

But it’s so sad to see money wasted amongst families because one person is intent on financial destruction. It’s a huge emotional burden, but i would have navigated it with help for something like that. This isn’t the same as something like collaborative divorce. It’s like a divorce strategy consultant or something.

I just only knew of one other person (not an attorney) that successfully did it. I have great respect for her because of it. Just wondering if there were other stories.

This does not make sense...and dare I say malpractice?

I'm a lawyer and I think there are a few things that make representing yourself difficult.

First, knowing the rules of evidence. You may get lucky and get a judge who lets a lot of things slide or you may not. I think it would be difficult to learn all of the rules of evidence.

Second, when you are not a repeat player in the game (i.e. a lawyer who regularly practices) there is little incentive for the other side not to pull a fast one on you. There are some ethically challenged lawyers in the area of family law.

Third, knowing the preferences and arguments that work for the judge you go before. You could possibly get briefed on this by an attorney that you consulted with.

Fourth, preserving objections for appeal. A lot of people screw this up.

Yes. But ours was relatively civil and uncontested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hired lawyers, but after awhile, I was so comfortable with the system I felt like I should have had a law degree. I know the saying along the lines of people doing this being utter fools, but clearly it has happened before. Most people can not afford $100k in legal fees, which are paid by retainer, filling a jukebox as you go. And t is a person’s legal right to have the option to self represent. So. Do you know anyone that has done it? How did it turn out?

I know one person, she would “consult” with attorneys and represent herself in court, this was for a highly contested divorce. The ex-husband was an attorney. She couldn’t find or afford anyone to fight for her so she literally dragged herself through everything herself. It ended with things in her favor, and eventually her and the ex could be in the same room with their 3 kids.

Any other anecdotal stories?

Define "success."

The person could adequately represent their interests and support a fair trial and final judgment for both parties. they followed procedure, understood their local laws, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney so I would be a bit scared to represent myself in a contested proceeding! I would be too aware of what I might be getting wrong because it's not my specialty. If the stakes were lower than my kid, say some kind of property dispute, sure, I would do it. But not if I'm fighting over my child & financial security.

On the other hand, I do believe a smart, persistant autodidact can have success representing themselves. I have a friend who won a *federal IP trial* representing himself!

Impressive!

Agree if there isn’t much to fight over the risk is different. It’s just such an emotional process for everyone and the kids resources are hit the hardest. I had never heard of someone doing what my friend did before. She didn’t even let us know she was doing it alone the entire time. -op

There is one lawyer I know of that is a legal consultant; works by referral mostly, and you pay for access to secure record-keeping, help with document preparation, trial prep, and you get templates. You do the work. You do the filing, you write out the motions, you do the planning. You are by yourself in the courtroom. You have a support team available answering the questions and giving guidance - but it’s at a much, mich, much cheaper rate. Like $5K and if you end up wanting to use them to represent you, you can hire them at anytime, and they give you the cost for everything detailed, up front so you know how to financially prepare.

It’s her private practice, not a huge firm or anything, and this is in the dc area. The friend in my example didn’t use this service - she went over books for hours in legal libraries.

But it’s so sad to see money wasted amongst families because one person is intent on financial destruction. It’s a huge emotional burden, but i would have navigated it with help for something like that. This isn’t the same as something like collaborative divorce. It’s like a divorce strategy consultant or something.

I just only knew of one other person (not an attorney) that successfully did it. I have great respect for her because of it. Just wondering if there were other stories.

I'm an attorney so I would be a bit scared to represent myself in a contested proceeding! I would be too aware of what I might be getting wrong because it's not my specialty. If the stakes were lower than my kid, say some kind of property dispute, sure, I would do it. But not if I'm fighting over my child & financial security.

On the other hand, I do believe a smart, persistant autodidact can have success representing themselves. I have a friend who won a *federal IP trial* representing himself!

ExDH and I didn't hire lawyers. We agreed on everything though, so there was no fighting.

Anonymous wrote:I hired lawyers, but after awhile, I was so comfortable with the system I felt like I should have had a law degree. I know the saying along the lines of people doing this being utter fools, but clearly it has happened before. Most people can not afford $100k in legal fees, which are paid by retainer, filling a jukebox as you go. And t is a person’s legal right to have the option to self represent. So. Do you know anyone that has done it? How did it turn out?

I know one person, she would “consult” with attorneys and represent herself in court, this was for a highly contested divorce. The ex-husband was an attorney. She couldn’t find or afford anyone to fight for her so she literally dragged herself through everything herself. It ended with things in her favor, and eventually her and the ex could be in the same room with their 3 kids.

Any other anecdotal stories?

Define "success."

Maybe that’s why I don’t have one. Thanks.

I did it BUT I'm an attorney. Yes a lawyer who self represents has a fool for a client, but in my case it turned out well because it was not a high conflict divorce. And we did a lot of the ground work upfront with a divorce counselor and a financial counselor. By the time we divorced, it was just a simple piece of paper and ex didn't even show up in court. When it's highly contested, you absolutely want to get a very good attorney. Especially if your STBX is lawyered up.

Sorry can't help but to say this, with your level of writing you don't look like you "should have had a law degree."

I hired lawyers, but after awhile, I was so comfortable with the system I felt like I should have had a law degree. I know the saying along the lines of people doing this being utter fools, but clearly it has happened before. Most people can not afford $100k in legal fees, which are paid by retainer, filling a jukebox as you go. And t is a person’s legal right to have the option to self represent. So. Do you know anyone that has done it? How did it turn out?

I know one person, she would “consult” with attorneys and represent herself in court, this was for a highly contested divorce. The ex-husband was an attorney. She couldn’t find or afford anyone to fight for her so she literally dragged herself through everything herself. It ended with things in her favor, and eventually her and the ex could be in the same room with their 3 kids.

Any other anecdotal stories?