Anonymous wrote:I'll bite. I wasn't out to fight the patriarchy when I decided to keep my name. It just completely weirded me out to go by a completely different last name. Plus, my given name does not go well with my husband's last name.

TL;DR - didn't want a new last name so I kept mine.

Ditto. I don't even like my last name and rather wish my mom -- who also kept her last name, way before it was acceptable to do so -- had given us kids hers, because it's way more interesting. But when it came down to it I didn't want to change the name I'd had all my life. (My sister cared even less about this than I did but also didn't want the hassle.)

If I loved my name I might have tried to convince DH to give the kids my name. He would have been open to it, although MIL would have gone crazy. But I was actually quite happy for the kids to have his. In addition to not liking my last name, it's been annoying from an identity perspective. I have a very non-Jewish first and last name and all my life I've gotten a minor side-eye when I introduce myself in synagogue. (Yes, I am Jewish; yes, my parents are Jewish; no, I did not convert, etc.) DH's last name is easily identifiable as Jewish. Figured I'd spare my kids the minor hassle and let their names accurately reflect their heritage.

Our children have my name as their middle, my husbands as their last. So they have both names.

Anonymous wrote:Our children have my name. I kept my maiden name. DH is the odd person in the house.

You say it like it's a problem. Is it?

To help their father bond with them. They came out of my womb, what bond does he have with them? Let him have the name. They are his kids, and I want him to feel that.

Our children have my name. I kept my maiden name. DH is the odd person in the house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept my maiden name because I was well established career-wise and my last name was part of my identity. Those reasons didn’t apply to my children.

Your children aren’t part of your identity?

NP - They get their own identity with their own name at birth.

Anonymous wrote:I kept my maiden name because I was well established career-wise and my last name was part of my identity. Those reasons didn’t apply to my children.

+1, I have many publications in my name, so I wanted to keep it.

I married late and was professionally known by my maiden name. Wanted to keep it and also didn’t want to go through paperwork to change. Had no problem with kids taking their dad’s name.

What would make more sense to you? The mothers name or a portmanteau?

Anonymous wrote:I kept my maiden name because I was well established career-wise and my last name was part of my identity. Those reasons didn’t apply to my children.

Your children aren’t part of your identity?

I'll bite. I wasn't out to fight the patriarchy when I decided to keep my name. It just completely weirded me out to go by a completely different last name. Plus, my given name does not go well with my husband's last name.

TL;DR - didn't want a new last name so I kept mine.

I kept my maiden name because I was well established career-wise and my last name was part of my identity. Those reasons didn’t apply to my children.

Because you have to be a feminist and keep your name but society can't think your children are bastards or illegitimate so they get dad's name.

I’ve never understood this either. Almost seems more sexist to me than everyone just having the same name

Help me understand why most women who choose not to change their names when they get married still choose to give their children their husband's last name? It just seems like if you choose to give up an old tradition of taking your husband's last name, why would you choose your husband's last name for your children? I'm not criticizing. Really. I'm just trying to understand...