DD is a recruited athlete and has to be up for practice at 5 or 6 am 6 days a week. This early rising is not different than her high school routine (now she walks instead of driving). A positive externality of her commitment to her sport it that it keeps partying to a minimum but I am not under the illusion that she doesnt party/drink at all.

Hate to remind you of this...but there are also the drunk kids who rape and get raped. So there is that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t track my kid in high school and surely won’t start now. Same with their bank acct.

Just because they are in touch doesn’t mean they aren’t partying. You have to let go.

Said the parent who won't be up a creek if their kid wastes thousands upon thousands of dollars when they get kicked out from poor grades due to too much partying. College is the most expensive thing that most people will ever pay for. I can't blame them for wanting to know what is going on with their kid.

College kids party multiple times a week (ie more than a normal adult would consider reasonable). The vast majority do not get kicked out for bad grade. Why the assumption that if your kid picks up a beer that the worse will happen.

I have one child in his mid 20s and he still doesn't drink. He is very popular because he is always the designated driver.

My second child would party on Friday nights as a freshman, and only once to the point of getting sick. As the school year progressed, the courseload got more difficult, so there was less time for partying. She also made some good friends and began to see the drunken idiocy at parties as a turnoff. She would rather just hang out with her friends (and eventual boyfriend) in town or on campus. She is about to enter junior year and recently told me that by the time she was 19, she was over it. She won't be 21 for almost another year and she has zero desire to party anymore. She does drink on occasion. She and her friends will cook a big meal and someone who is 21 will bring wine or a bottle of liquor, but the drinking is just in context of a meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I track my freshman. He goes to all his classes from what I can see. He told me he went to a couple of off campus parties already. He said the parties were boring and superficial, but it seems he got that out of his system early. Hopefully he realizes that there is plenty to do on campus once he finds his people as he has never been a big partier. I don't look at his grades, but the school mails mid semester grades to the home as a freshman, so it will be a good check in. This is a top 20 school.

When do you plan to stop tracking him?

Already checking it less. Just initially looked to see if he was actually making the classes. He has some exec. functioning issues, so I am always wondering if he is managing his time well on his own. I also wanted to get a sense of how seriously he was approaching his first year of college. It could change, I realize.

I don't look at his debit card charges except when I transfer money. He has always been responsible with money.

Anonymous wrote:I track my freshman. He goes to all his classes from what I can see. He told me he went to a couple of off campus parties already. He said the parties were boring and superficial, but it seems he got that out of his system early. Hopefully he realizes that there is plenty to do on campus once he finds his people as he has never been a big partier. I don't look at his grades, but the school mails mid semester grades to the home as a freshman, so it will be a good check in. This is a top 20 school.

When do you plan to stop tracking him?

I track my freshman. He goes to all his classes from what I can see. He told me he went to a couple of off campus parties already. He said the parties were boring and superficial, but it seems he got that out of his system early. Hopefully he realizes that there is plenty to do on campus once he finds his people as he has never been a big partier. I don't look at his grades, but the school mails mid semester grades to the home as a freshman, so it will be a good check in. This is a top 20 school.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL told me that her son's dorm stayed up and partied for 72 hours straight. These kids are so excited to be free of us, their parents. It's a little scary.

Anyone else checking the debits and charges? Fake IDs an issue? Am I the only mom who does Find Iphone and text during the day to check in?

That doesn't sound too likely. I guess it depends on how you define "partying". Most dorms have pretty strict rules regarding alcohol - any drinking parties happening are shut down pretty quickly.

But if the kids are just staying up, playing video games, goofing around....yeah, maybe.

Kids in general party way less today. My college campus we had bars all over campus open till two am Sunday till Wed and 4am Thursday to Saturday. We had keg parties, jungle juice, ludes, hash and coke you name it all in open.

I have a kid in college and once starts next year. I personally almost failed out of college from too much partying. I graduated and went to a good career. The coke dealer on my hallway is a doctor and the pothead and drunk down the hall is a law Partner. The other drug dealer on hallway also a lawyer. Other hall mates big four Partners and executives.

Today way less partying so if the stoners and pot heads of 70s and 80s are now CEOs and on Supreme Court don’t worry

Neither of my two oldest are still freshman, but both went to a few parties, didn't like them, and built their own friend groups and had parties with their friends.

I've got slightly nerdy kids - one would go play basketball at night with his friends and one would go to a bookstore until they closed with friends, and then go to a diner or something.

My kids may have gotten drunk once or twice, but in general, they did not drink to get drunk.

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t track my kid in high school and surely won’t start now. Same with their bank acct.

Just because they are in touch doesn’t mean they aren’t partying. You have to let go.

Said the parent who won't be up a creek if their kid wastes thousands upon thousands of dollars when they get kicked out from poor grades due to too much partying. College is the most expensive thing that most people will ever pay for. I can't blame them for wanting to know what is going on with their kid.

I didn’t track my kid in high school and surely won’t start now. Same with their bank acct.

Just because they are in touch doesn’t mean they aren’t partying. You have to let go.

I feel lucky because my kid has chosen not to drink until she is 21. There are not a ton of kids like that at college, but she has found enough.

I don’t Check on her, but she texts me frequently. If course I like knowing what she is up to

I don't understand people like that, but then I'm a bookish introvert. My kids are bookish introverts as well, do hopefully they'll just find a quiet spot to get some shuteye.

My SIL told me that her son's dorm stayed up and partied for 72 hours straight. These kids are so excited to be free of us, their parents. It's a little scary.

Anyone else checking the debits and charges? Fake IDs an issue? Am I the only mom who does Find Iphone and text during the day to check in?