COMPLETELY reasonable to expect kids of that age to understand instructions. Now if desserts sitting around are common, they weren’t told it was for a special occasion, etc I could see confusion. My kids would say, “What’s the cake for? Can we eat it?” before they took it, but I also don’t let them help themselves to snacks all day without asking in general. (No, I’m not controlling about foods but I also don’t want them having a sandwich and chips a half hour before dinner)

yes, that is reasonable

Most people don’t just have random cakes in their house. If there’s a cake in our house, either it’s somebody’s birthday or my kids will ask what it’s for. They wouldn’t think they were supposed to eat it for a snack. If you specifically explained to them what it was for and when it would be served and that they were not to touch it, and then they helped themselves anyway, then they deserve a consequence for their poor behavior. Your expectations were not out of line.

I have a 9 and 13 year old and they wouldn't touch a desert of any sort without asking first. Sugar foods have never been a part of our daily diet ,so they know if sugary foods are in the house it is either for something special or must be consumed in moderation.

No you should not have to hide food.

I would expect a 5 year old to understand that concept.

Was it a mistake or was it purposeful? It sounds like it was purposeful. If so then this is about more than cake, OP. I hope you understand that and that you figure out what you need to fix things with your relationship with your kids so that you never, ever have to ask again if you have to hide food from them. They are still young so you have time. I wouldn't wait much longer though. And if you decide not to do anything then you really need to be prepared for their teen years because I think you'll be in for a bumpy ride.

Anonymous wrote:Do you rarely or never have cake in the house? If so expect such behavior.

Nope. When I grew up we rarely had sweets in the house (money was tight, parents only bought what’s necessary), and me and my brother would absolutely devour anything sweet that we could get our hands on... except when specifically told that some thingis being saved for a special event. 12 and 10 are old enough to exercise that level of self control. My own kids will never open a cake or a box of chocolate without asking whether it’s for us and whether it’s OK to eat now.

Anonymous wrote:Or is it reasonable to expect that my 12 and 10 year olds can self restrain for a few hours after specifically being ordered NOT to dig into the cake that I purchased this morning for an event tonight?

Those kids are old enough to listen.

Although, I would reflect on why they couldn't restrain themselves and work on solving how you got to a place where your kids wouldn't keep away from the cake. Are you normally in strict control of the kitchen and quantities eaten? Are you arbitrary about your rules so they figure they will be in trouble regardless? Are you one who doesn't punish ever? Or were your kids just completely out of line? We don't know.

Anonymous wrote:No no hiding food. They should respect your wishes and not touch it. Phones, ipads whatever grounded til they get it. It's not a hard concept. I'm assuming they are well fed and have treats normally, so asking them do respect your ask is not a huge deal. Stop this now before they are too old to respect you.

+1,000,000.
"No" means 'No" not only when applied to sex. If you're prohibiting your children from doing something, they should comply.

No no hiding food. They should respect your wishes and not touch it. Phones, ipads whatever grounded til they get it. It's not a hard concept. I'm assuming they are well fed and have treats normally, so asking them do respect your ask is not a huge deal. Stop this now before they are too old to respect you.

Anonymous wrote:Or is it reasonable to expect that my 12 and 10 year olds can self restrain for a few hours after specifically being ordered NOT to dig into the cake that I purchased this morning for an event tonight?

Absolutely. It is totally reasonable to ask them to not touch something you’re saving for a special event. I’d definitely be taking all access to screens and whatever else they consider fun this weekend. That’s just outright rude and cannot be tolerated. They blatantly disregarded your directions.

I would make it crystal clear what the consequences would be for disturbing the cake!

Anonymous wrote:Do you rarely or never have cake in the house? If so expect such behavior.

Meh. I believe that “restrictive environment fosters binge eating treats” theory is a bunch of nonsense. We had junk growing up in my
House and I still have an uncontrollable sweet tooth. I know people from homes where they never had junk who eat well and vice versa. It’s individual. Yes OP hide the cake.

Do you rarely or never have cake in the house? If so expect such behavior.

Or is it reasonable to expect that my 12 and 10 year olds can self restrain for a few hours after specifically being ordered NOT to dig into the cake that I purchased this morning for an event tonight?