Normal people respond with love, support and kindness.

People who are part of a family with incest actually react with shock, horror, disbelief and aloofness.

I would like to think I would immediately tell the person how sorry I am that this happened. But I could see where it was so shocking that it is hard to fully process.

I am trying to imagine this scenario and yeah it would be a really hard thing to process. Especially if family was important to me, to accept a painful truth that would break that apart. And if I were still married to that person, to break the marriage apart. I’d imagine I might have periods of doubt, but I’d try to hide that from you as that would be adding on to the pain. Such a hard thing. I’m sorry you had to go through that and that you had to hold onto that secret for so long. I hope you are able to find some support and healing.

I can only imagine the range of emotions I would feel to find out something like that was happening to my child right under my nose and I was unaware. It would take me a long time to process that and deal with the inevitable guilt. You were not wrong to disclose, but understand how shell-shocked this person probably is and that while you need them to react to you, they also have to learn to cope with their own emotions.

Are your parents still married, OP?

I would hug him and say how sorry I am and ask if they want help- confronting the adults who were supposed to keep him safe, finding a therapist, whatever.

Anonymous wrote:You did not make a mistake in disclosing.

Your parent should believe you. This information should greatly disturb them and cause them to question their relationship to your other parent.

Agreed. It should.

However, I can tell you from my own experience (and others), that denial can run very deep. It's not unusual for the victim to be the person castigated. Do you have a therapist? Have you discussed this disclosure with them and are they supporting you?

You did not make a mistake in disclosing.

Your parent should believe you. This information should greatly disturb them and cause them to question their relationship to your other parent.

If an adult family member (sister, brother, cousin) disclosed to you that they had been physically, sexually, and emotionally abused as a child, WWYD?

I recently disclosed to a parent that the other parent had been physically and sexually abusive to me. They were shocked and had no idea. I'm honestly wondering if I should have disclosed or not.