Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dumb thread

+1

Agreed. Be an adult for crying out loud.

Anonymous wrote:Dumb thread

+1

Dumb thread

I don't think anyone is scared, but you have to play the politics just like everything else. You may think your boss is an idiot, but you wouldn't say it to him/her even if you aren't scared. Just not smart.

Anonymous wrote:BRYC is on of those clubs for sure. Ive seen kids go from getting special treatment when they were a below average player because the mom was a manager. Then basically sitting on the end of the bench now because the family no longer is manager.

This is what happens when your kids participate in team sports. Coaches have final says on who can be on the team and who can be starters. Lot of favor and shady dealing going on. If you don't want to subject your family to that, have your kids play individual sports like swimming, tennis, golf, etc... where the best kids n the roster get to start based on performance and coaches can not manipulated that.

No. That’s silly.

Yes. Most clubs are run by ecomaniacal men who will not tolerate any viewpoint other than theirs. Even the ones who say the right things. If you leave one club, there's another petty egomaniac at the next. They care about who their "stars" are at any given time and about winning, and not much else. Bloated rosters, refusing to play committed kids who aren't quite there yet, ignoring the kids on the bench, having stars on their own teams and playing "up" while some kids don't play at all . . . it's the same everywhere.

BRYC is on of those clubs for sure. Ive seen kids go from getting special treatment when they were a below average player because the mom was a manager. Then basically sitting on the end of the bench now because the family no longer is manager.

We've never been "scared" of the club, but we certainly have been at ones where some of the leadership and a few of the coaches are petty and vindictive. All of the ones we've been at have at a minimum had some incompetent leadership or coaches. One of our kids was a top player, and we (along with some other parents in the same boat) felt it was our responsibility to step up and try to address team concerns with coaches or TDs while she was at the club, even in cases where the problems disproportionately affected players who weren't stars. There was no way anyone was going to cut our kid even if they resented our interference, and that was not the case for our friends whose kids were less important to the club. We didn't make waves when our other, less gifted kids were playing unless there was a serious problem or we were very confident that the club reps we were dealing with were reasonable people.

I have to admit, it crossed my mind. I spoke with the coach about the fact that I was irritated that we drove and hour and a half to a game where DS played for 10 minutes. I had warned him beforehand that DS had a minor injury and probably wouldn't play as well as usual, and he said he really needed DS there, and then he barely played him. The coach didn't react well when I spoke to him, and I was concerned about retribution. We switched clubs the next year anyway, because we moved, but who knows.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've been cautious at every club my kids have been a part of. They have the power to make or break your kid. I hate that it's that way, but it's the truth.

NO!!!

They have, AT MOST, the power to have them play not quite as much soccer while wearing a particular shirt with a particular logo. Jesus Christ, the power to make or break a player? There's not a coach in the world with that power.

Yes, I've been cautious at every club my kids have been a part of. They have the power to make or break your kid. I hate that it's that way, but it's the truth.

OP here.

Agree it's normal to be discreet, but we have heard some horror stories about some coaches who "found out" and benched kids, raged at kids, did an intervention with parents, etc and it kind of got me wondering.

There's a lot of ground between diplomatically leaving to go to greener pastures and being afraid of a club administration, OP.
It's perfectly normal to not disclose a search for the next post. It happens for jobs, and all kids' extra-curriculars. We did this recently when switching violin teachers.

People sometimes speak of "not wanting to raise a stink" about something because they don't want the club / coaches to think of them as "that family" or whatever. Or they don't want a club to know they are looking at other options because they fear retribution against their kid.

Are you scared of your club, or more appropriately, do you think there is a culture of fear surrounding your club (even if it isn't true)?