We had a family living next door to us whose names went something like this:

Dad - Mr. Brown
Mom - Ms. Smith (her maiden name)
Son from mom's previous marriage - John Jones (Mom's ex's last name)
Daughter from this marriage - Suzy Brown-Smith

It was crazy.

But it is what it is. I don't know that any of the kid's cared. Their names meant something to them even if it wasn't their mom's name

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will your 3rd child's name be? What do you feel - in your gut - like you want to do?

Do you have an attachment to your maiden name?

Op isn't pregnant. Her ex husband's new wife is.

Different poster than the one you are quoting here.

I think that was a typo in the OP, where she says "I'm not pregnant" I think she meant "I'm now pregnant."

Anonymous wrote:What will your 3rd child's name be? What do you feel - in your gut - like you want to do?

Do you have an attachment to your maiden name?

Op isn't pregnant. Her ex husband's new wife is.

My mom kept my dad's last name until she remarried my stepdad. Out of all the drama related to their divorce, having the same last name as my mom was/is not important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have your new husband change his last name to Smith so you can all be the same.

My relative’s ex-wife kept his last name and then wanted to give her new baby with second husband my relative’s last name so it would be the same as hers. He was not amused or supportive of that move.

How bizarre. What did the second husband think of his child carrying another man's name?

Anonymous wrote:I would have your new husband change his last name to Smith so you can all be the same.

My relative’s ex-wife kept his last name and then wanted to give her new baby with second husband my relative’s last name so it would be the same as hers. He was not amused or supportive of that move.

I would have your new husband change his last name to Smith so you can all be the same.

I would not hyphenate it. I would switch to your maiden name or just take his. It makes no sense to keep your ex-husband's last name if you are no longer married.

Maybe just switch to your maiden name.

Also - what if this 2nd marriage ends in divorce? Would you keep your hyphenated name?

What will your 3rd child's name be? What do you feel - in your gut - like you want to do?

Do you have an attachment to your maiden name?

You pick whatever you want that you want to go by, and just don’t get bent out of shape if a friend of your child’s calls you Mrs. Smith. When I was a teenager, I remember we were all at someone’s house and “Dave Jones” mother stopped by to pick him up. We were raised politely and said “oh, one minute, Mrs. Jones, we’ll go get him” and she got really nasty and started going on about how she was “Ms. Davis and how dare we call her Mrs. Jones” and so on. If she had just been nice about it and said “hi, actually I go by Mary Davis now” no one would have thought a thing about it. Instead, i still remember what a witch this person was 35 years later.

In your position, I would absolutely be Smith-Jones so that none of my children would have a completely different last name than me.

My mother kept her married name despite the divorce. NBD. If you want to change anything just switch to your maiden name, no need to hyphenate. I kept my maiden name and have DCs with my DH’s last name...no one cares or is confused. I have traveled to Asia, Europe, South America without DH with my DCs and the fact we have different last names has never been an issue.

I married and became a Smith. We had two children. We divorced and I kept the Smith. Now remarried, I kept the Smith because of my children, but I’m not pregnant and she with my new husband’s child. The best course of action is to hyphenate, correct?