Anonymous wrote:I just talked with our sitter and told her to text the other mom, on the day of, whenever she feels like walking both girls back home. I also stressed that I was completely fine with her never doing this, since she's the one doing it, and that at most, I wouldn't want her to do this more than once a month. So our sitter is in no way obligated. I think this strikes a good balance of being helpful (assuming sitter wants to), but not too much that it becomes an obligation for us and/or expected by the other mom.

I think you put more obligations on your sitter's plate than you needed to. You assume she wants to help, but at the same time you are telling her to text the mom whenever she feels like walking home. You are putting her in a tough spot of telling YOU no. BTW, in this case the sitter is the one who will be helpful, not you (I don't mean that in a harsh way), so I hope she gets paid a little extra. Also, for the life of me I don't understand why you would add this extra work on her when all the other mom wanted was for her to take the girl to the lobby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just talked with our sitter and told her to text the other mom, on the day of, whenever she feels like walking both girls back home. I also stressed that I was completely fine with her never doing this, since she's the one doing it, and that at most, I wouldn't want her to do this more than once a month. So our sitter is in no way obligated. I think this strikes a good balance of being helpful (assuming sitter wants to), but not too much that it becomes an obligation for us and/or expected by the other mom.

I think that is perfect.

Whoops hit submit too soon. I would also tell the sitter that she can always say NO if the Mom calls her and asks her to do it. She doesn't have to have a concrete reason. Meaning if she doesn't feel like it, that's good enough. And you will back her if the other Mom gets offended.

Anonymous wrote:I just talked with our sitter and told her to text the other mom, on the day of, whenever she feels like walking both girls back home. I also stressed that I was completely fine with her never doing this, since she's the one doing it, and that at most, I wouldn't want her to do this more than once a month. So our sitter is in no way obligated. I think this strikes a good balance of being helpful (assuming sitter wants to), but not too much that it becomes an obligation for us and/or expected by the other mom.

I think that is perfect.

I just talked with our sitter and told her to text the other mom, on the day of, whenever she feels like walking both girls back home. I also stressed that I was completely fine with her never doing this, since she's the one doing it, and that at most, I wouldn't want her to do this more than once a month. So our sitter is in no way obligated. I think this strikes a good balance of being helpful (assuming sitter wants to), but not too much that it becomes an obligation for us and/or expected by the other mom.

OP you sound like a thoughtful person. I would offer.

Please don't add responsibilities to your sitter's work that she didn't sign up for. She is caring for *your* child so unless you want to pay her for two kids, i'd stay away from the walking home offer.

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be nice (and fear she won't sign up daughter's friend for next class), I might mention that sitter could occasionally walk friend home. "I can't commit her to any schedule since there might be other things going on. But she can text you before the class and let you know."

Don't make it the sitter's responsibility to check, but you could note that, in a pinch, sitter might be able to walk her home, but she should text sitter in advance to see.

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be nice (and fear she won't sign up daughter's friend for next class), I might mention that sitter could occasionally walk friend home. "I can't commit her to any schedule since there might be other things going on. But she can text you before the class and let you know."

This was one thing I was thinking about and you put it perfectly. As an every week thing, I could totally see walking the friend home becoming a burden. But as an occasional favor, I think the other mom would still appreciate it without it becoming annoying for either me or our sitter. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:What? Why would you think your sitter should walk the kid home when this other mom just asked if you could walk the kid to the lobby? It’s also totally unfair to your sitter to supervise another kid. You’re right, you are way overthinking this, unless you suspect this other mom was hinting at wanting her kid to be picked up by you/your sitter.

OP here. I don't think sitter "should." Our sitter is a really generous person and completely on her own, she's offered to help this mom out, including hosting play dates on her own. I actually had to ask her NOT to make these offers of help without asking me first. And yeah, I know I'm overthinking this!

If you want to be nice (and fear she won't sign up daughter's friend for next class), I might mention that sitter could occasionally walk friend home. "I can't commit her to any schedule since there might be other things going on. But she can text you before the class and let you know."

Anonymous wrote:I mean this kindly - you are totally overthinking this! Just have your sitter do as she asked, which is not at all a big deal, if you want to help out. Don’t add 56 additional complicating factors to it.

+1

What? Why would you think your sitter should walk the kid home when this other mom just asked if you could walk the kid to the lobby? It’s also totally unfair to your sitter to supervise another kid. You’re right, you are way overthinking this, unless you suspect this other mom was hinting at wanting her kid to be picked up by you/your sitter.

Anonymous wrote:I mean this kindly - you are totally overthinking this! Just have your sitter do as she asked, which is not at all a big deal, if you want to help out. Don’t add 56 additional complicating factors to it.

This is OP. Ha ha, I know I am totally overthinking it! Thanks for the feedback, on my question, I mean

I mean this kindly - you are totally overthinking this! Just have your sitter do as she asked, which is not at all a big deal, if you want to help out. Don’t add 56 additional complicating factors to it.

The mom of DD's preschool friend just asked for help with picking up her DD from an extracurricular class that our kids take together. She asked that our sitter pick up her DD and bring her to the lobby where the mom will be waiting. Building policy is you leave your stroller in the lobby, mom has two younger LOs and I'm guessing she doesn't want to take the baby out of the stroller and have to wrangle two LOs stroller-less while picking up her DD.

Sitter and I are totally fine with helping this way, but I am wondering if I should offer to help more by having sitter walk their DD home (I'm positive sitter would be happy to help). Our families live less than a five minute walk from each other. However, the extracurricular class is a 25 minute walk with a small child through bustling city streets (moderate pedestrian & car traffic). The other family's sitter was supposed to take their DD to/from class, but is now able to only drop off. I know the other mom would really appreciate not having to get her two LOs ready to go out and take a 50-minute round-trip walk just to pick up her DD from a 45 minute class. Our kids love taking this class together and I would want to help out if it means they can continue doing so.

OTOH even though I know our sitter is more than willing to help, I feel like it might be too much of a responsibility and obligation to take on. First, there's the liability issue; what if something god forbid happened to their DD while she was walking with our sitter? Even setting that aside (how often do these accidents happen and sitter is VERY careful), the 25 minute walk could easily become more than that. For ex, when it gets really cold, sitter would have to help their DD change out of her gym clothes into winter clothes. Or when it's pouring rain, sitter and DD usually stop off at the bookstore or library to wait out the rain, so maybe 25 minutes becomes 45. Sitter is not being paid to watch two kids and having the other mom hire/pay our sitter is an area I don't want to venture into. Lastly, sitter and DD sometimes (like half the time) make pit stops on the way home anyway (e.g., have dinner out) and having the friend with them might make her feel constrained to come straight back.

Reading the above makes me feel the answer is "no, don't offer extra help," but I feel like if this semester is too hard on the mom, she might not sign up her DD next semester and I know DD loves having her friend in the class. I do tend to overthink things so would appreciate hearing other perspectives.