Did ANY parents correct or reprimand her when she jumped on their kids? Especially at the pool? I would no qualms about yelling at a kid who behaved that way when she’s putting other children in danger.

Anonymous wrote:No playdates for now.

My kids are teens and tweens now, and I've seen that happen often. It's not until you refuse playdates that the parents understand they need to do something. Perhaps it's ADHD, sensory seeking, or just lack of consistent rules at home, I'm definitely not judging either parents or child! But you need to avoid them until the child matures and is a little easier to get along with.

You need to alert the teacher, and explain that this is your neighbor and that you know the parents are hoping the school will do "something" instead of doing the hard work themselves. Well the "something" is that the teacher should be meeting with the parents and giving them advice, but of course you cannot say this. If your child is shoved, file a bullying form right away, so that the school has a clear mandate to act. The parents will not know who filed.

If this is a disorder like ADHD, and the parents are in denial about it, it will take many long and painful years until the problem is addressed. If this is just a little age-related boisterousness and the parents are willing to engage, things will calm down within the year.

+1

Dense/lazy parents.

Anonymous wrote:Omg I hate other parents. This is so chronic. I try to avoid these families entirely. There are so many layers to this. You don’t want to start peeling that onion back. Tell your son to say “please don’t touch me” and let the teacher know it’s making him uncomfortable.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Avoid. Since she's doing this in other surroundings and with other kids, not targeting your kid specifically, let the teachers handle it.

As an aside, adult swim time doesn't mean you let your kindergartners invade the baby pool. Pet peeve.

At our pool, kids six and under are allowed in the baby pool. So that would include most kindergarteners.

Avoid. Since she's doing this in other surroundings and with other kids, not targeting your kid specifically, let the teachers handle it.

As an aside, adult swim time doesn't mean you let your kindergartners invade the baby pool. Pet peeve.

You need to shadow your son when she's around. I will physically put my arm out to block a child from touching mine. "You can't shove him." "Nobody likes to be pushed." "Nobody is going to want to play with you if you keep touching people."

Omg I hate other parents. This is so chronic. I try to avoid these families entirely. There are so many layers to this. You don’t want to start peeling that onion back. Tell your son to say “please don’t touch me” and let the teacher know it’s making him uncomfortable.

What are the parents doing when she does these things?

No playdates for now.

My kids are teens and tweens now, and I've seen that happen often. It's not until you refuse playdates that the parents understand they need to do something. Perhaps it's ADHD, sensory seeking, or just lack of consistent rules at home, I'm definitely not judging either parents or child! But you need to avoid them until the child matures and is a little easier to get along with.

You need to alert the teacher, and explain that this is your neighbor and that you know the parents are hoping the school will do "something" instead of doing the hard work themselves. Well the "something" is that the teacher should be meeting with the parents and giving them advice, but of course you cannot say this. If your child is shoved, file a bullying form right away, so that the school has a clear mandate to act. The parents will not know who filed.

If this is a disorder like ADHD, and the parents are in denial about it, it will take many long and painful years until the problem is addressed. If this is just a little age-related boisterousness and the parents are willing to engage, things will calm down within the year.

Role play scenarios with your son so he learns to say loudly “No, I don’t like that.” An “Stop, I don’t want to be touched.” He should be saying it loudly enough to draw the attention of the teacher. Also, encourage him to raise his hand and let the teacher know that Sally is being rough and hitting him. If it continues, email the teacher and ask that your son be kept apart from Sally because she is hurting him and embarrassing him.

Her behavior is well outside of the norm. The fact that she was dragging him and he lost his shorts and underwear is highly problematic. I also would have intervened at that moment and told her firmly that was not acceptable and removed my son from her presence.

You can make a comment to the teacher. I’m sure the teacher will be handling it regardless, because that’s way too much physicality for school.

Also, no play dates with this girl. Done.

Anonymous wrote:tl;dr... but just wait a year and he/she will grow out of it

yup.

I bet there is turmoil behind closed doors and it is manifesting in Sally's behavior.

tl;dr... but just wait a year and he/she will grow out of it

My son is 5 years old and just started kindergarten. A new neighbor moved in next door to us in June, and they have a 5 year old girl who started kindergarten this year as well, and who is in the same class as my son. I’ll call her Sally. We were very busy over the summer so we didn’t see our new neighbors much at all, but I have noticed that just about every time we see them, Sally can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. One of the first times she played with my son, they played together at another neighbor’s house, and my son came home crying and said that Sally was pushing and shoving him the whole time. I assumed he was having a hard time in the group, but when I saw the neighbor who was hosting later that weekend, he mentioned how rough Sally was being and that she was pushing and shoving his daughters the whole time.

Another time we saw our new neighbors at our neighborhood pool while I was helping my son practicing his swimming. Sally insisted on jumping into the pool and swimming to me, like my son was doing, and clung to me the whole time and kissed me several times. That same day, she and my son were playing in the baby pool during adult swim, and she jumped on his back and slammed him down into the pool and submerged his head under water. Also that day she was jumping on top of other kids into the pool while trying to play with them.

After that day, I kind of tried to avoid having our kids play together since she is so rough. But I’ve heard from other neighbors that they have had issues with her pushing and shoving as well. At a kindergarten open house she pushed my son to the ground again and started dragging him to get up and caused his shorts and underwear to fall down. I also saw her bear hug and pick up another kid that is in their class, who she had just met probably 2 minutes before she was picking her up. I don’t think she is intending to bully or harm people, and she seems to want to be my son’s friend, but she seems to have no sense of boundaries.

My son loves school so far, but he has continued to complain about her pushing and poking him. Her parents have remarked casually that she has no boundaries and they hope school will help her with it, but they don’t seem to do much to correct her behavior when she is rough or just touches people in general. I don’t want it to get awkward with them since they literally live right next door to us, but I see this as a potential problem that I may have to address in the very near future. If this continues, which I strongly suspect it will, should I speak to her parents directly about this, or make a comment to the teacher and ask her to treat it anonymously for the time being?