Above was for 18:30.

OP here; their registry may be tacky but kindness never goes out of style. These are not close friends of mine but they are both lovely, grounded people. You know nothing about their background, PP. Check yourself.

People wouldn’t have to do all of this is guests just gave cash instead of stuff. No one needs more stuff! Dh and I actually didn’t have anything when we got married because we were young and had only lived with roommates but because of our age no one gave us much.

Tacky. A knocked-up tramp X2 and a marriage loser.

Any registry is tacky.

OP back, I agree with above. I think I'm split bc Lord knows they don't need a new colander from Sur La Table. I think I'll donate to 529's or just write a nice card and include a check. On the other end of this bell curve I was invited to a millennial wedding recently where the registry is their house down payment. Sigh.

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I knew DCUM would have strong opinions on this one. Yeah, I'm split....I agree that it seems tacky but I'm not sure why. Re: a big wedding, what's with the vitriol there? Because he's been married before? And?

It’s akin to sending out a notice that your soon-to-be one year old doesn’t “need” gifts at his birthday party but you would welcome donations towards a new car instead. It’s taking advantage of people’s good will on a giftable occasion.

I don't mind it. In fact, I'm inclined to give more to a 529 than to a honeymoon fund.

Ha, I knew DCUM would have strong opinions on this one. Yeah, I'm split....I agree that it seems tacky but I'm not sure why. Re: a big wedding, what's with the vitriol there? Because he's been married before? And?

No. And if you’re at a point in your life where you have two kids, a big wedding with a registry is tacky AF.

I’d get them a toaster just to spite them for their tackiness.

Id do something like "gifts to x charity, y charity, z charity, or kids 529 account appreciated but not necessary." Give people a choice and make it explicitly optional to minimize tackiness.

No.

They would not get a gift from me then.

I get it, but think it’s tacky.

Second marriage for him, first marriage for her, she brings two daughters to the marriage (15 and 12), he brings one (7). Both work and have established households.

What would you think if registry indicated that in lieu of a wedding gift, a donation could be made to 529 accounts? Funds would be distributed equally.

Fwiw, I'm on the fence as I find "donation" registries off-putting, but I'm old school. They are obviously both older and don't need traditional gifts, but understandably college costs are looming for both sets of kids.