Maybe she'll invite you to something else later on and leave the brother out.

Or, maybe she just thought, "Eh, we're not close, I don't like her that much, we'd have to pull out extra seating ... I'll just invite Joey and his family."

It's okay to not be invited to everything.

How many kids do you have?

I'd be hurt too, but why are you blaming this on your SIL? Your brother is equally responsible.

It's not a "family BBQ."

Gee, if you invited the Smiths over, and the Johnsons felt put out, do the Johnsons have a right to tell the world that you "blocked them from a neighborhood BBQ"?!

Anonymous wrote:It's not a family BBQ. It's one family having another family over. What gives you the impression that your brothers and their families shouldn't socialize without you present?

YUP, exactly this.

They wanted the evening to be a certain size and scope. They invited accordingly.

For all you know, maybe they had something special planned, like host brother asking guest brother to go into business with him.

You butted in, and that's rude, and that's on you. Not every gathering has to be about everyone, family or not.

I like many families in our daycare group. I have two I happen to socialize with. I had two of those families over for pizza night recently. I didn't want all-families pizza party; I wanted a scope of about 6 adults, 5 kids. And that's what we had.

Your brother sucks for pinning this on "SIL isn't up for hosting." Your brother is every bit as responsible for invitations and hosting.

Why would you butt in? How rude! If you want to see everyone together, make a plan and issue an invitation.

I don't see this issue at all. Growing up in a large family, we often went to one aunt's house or another uncle's BBQ. Not everyone was invited to everything. Except for major holidays, those should have invitations to everything.

How about you host next time? What's stopping you from inviting them all over?

It's not a family BBQ. It's one family having another family over. What gives you the impression that your brothers and their families shouldn't socialize without you present?

This X1000. It is perfectly reasonable for someone to not want to host another 4 people. Its reasonable for someone to not want to go out to dinner and take grill at home.

Anonymous wrote:My brother is having my other brother over for a bbq this weekend.

This is not a family reunion. It is one sibling getting together with another. Get over it.

But is the bbq just the immediate families of your two brothers? I mean, if multiple family members live in town it can be hard when you want to get together with just one family but instead it needs to be a big event. I understand that.

Do you have any idea why she might have beef with you or your DH?

It's not a family BBQ. It's one family having another family over. What gives you the impression that your brothers and their families shouldn't socialize without you present?

That sucks, sorry. However, you need to open your eyes. Of course her decision to exclude you was deliberate. Either she has an issue with you, your dh or your dc's. I had a family member that would not invite one cousin and her family to events at her home because she thought her children were too noisy and behaved poorly.

I'd be mad at your brother who didn't invite you. He's the one you have the issue with.

My brother is having my other brother over for a bbq this weekend. My brother texted me asking if they could stop by after the bbq. I asked where this bbq is and was told it is at my brother and SIL’s house. I asked my brother why we weren’t invited and he said my SIL wasn’t up for hosting a large group of people and my brother had suggested we all go out to dinner instead, but my SIL said no.

I feel hurt. I know my SIL and I are not close but I don’t think she would deliberately not want me an my husband and children to come to a family bbq at her house.