The literally worse thing you can do after a failed marriage is have a baby with someone you don't know. Get the abortion and birth control. Keep in mind the divorce and baby affects your child negatively even if you believe it's something you want.

I say this as someone that had an accidental pregnancy with a man that is destructive and abusive. Abusers try to hook women in fast before they see red flags.

Could you work as a nanny and bring your child to work? If you are well educated generally, with your experience at home, you could probably command a decent salary in this area, as long as the idea appeals to you.

I have a very wanted three month old and am pining for more time with her, which is slipping away, so I'm too biased to respond to your question about abortion.

OP again, I will not be moving in with bf, he said he would live with me just to demonstrate that he wants to be with me and the child should I have it...

Anonymous wrote:OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

Do not move in with the boyfriend. You don't know him well enough to put your child in that scenario.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had an abortion and how did it affect you? I'm pro-choice but now that it comes down to me making the decision, I'm scared of how that will affect me.

I had one when ds was about 1.5 years old. Birth control fail. I did not want a second for various reasons. DH was happy with 1 but would have respected whatever I chose. It has not affected me at all. I didn't mourn, I wasn't sad, I don't think about it. I'm thankful we live in a country where that option is available in a safe and secure environment.

This is the best advice I have ever heard on this topic.

https://therumpus.net/2011/04/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-71-the-ghost-ship-that-didnt-carry-us/

Has anyone had an abortion and how did it affect you? I'm pro-choice but now that it comes down to me making the decision, I'm scared of how that will affect me.

OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

An abortion is ok. And if that's not what you want, you will make do and you'll figure it out.

The only thing I would say is DO NOT move in with the bf unless your DD lives with dad 100% of the time. I'm sure your bf is a nice guy. It you don't really know him that well and that's not a good scenario for your kid

When is your divorce going to be finalized?

I’m confused. Did you not work at all from age 20 to 40, when you had your first child?

Just be sure you aren’t required to put your stbx on the birth certificate since you are still married.

Figure out what you want to do. We can't do that for you. Do you want another baby?

No advice, but you can do this! Take it a day at a time (hour at a time if need be, particularly when the baby arrives). I'd think long and hard before moving in with bf, particularly since you have a 3 year old. If things don't go well with the bf, it seems it would be too easy to stay in a bad relationship if you already live together. On the other hand, if bf is really going to be there for you when the baby is born, he's going to literally need to be staying over at night because nights are rough. Sending you hugs and good wishes.

Hello, I'm going through a divorce right now, I have a 3 year old and just found out I'm 4-5 weeks pregnant by my boyfriend of three months. I went through IVF the first time and then my ex husband and i tried for several months for #2 before giving up, so the idea that I could actually get pregnant easily, especially at age 43, was not on my radar. I have been a SAHM and have never really worked. My ex and I agreed that in a year when my 3 yr old goes to preschool, I would start working. Which is scary enough in this expensive area with my extremely limited work experience how I will make ends meet. And now thinking about adding another mouth to feed scares me shitless. I'm not sure what to do. I have no family in the area, or really any family at all. Both parents deceased, not close to brothers but both live cross country anyway. Can I do this on my own? Any people in similar situations that can give me advice? My bf wants the baby and wants us to move in together aid he will pay child support and be there for me and the baby. But I've obviously only known him three months so I don't know what will happen. And with no family support and a very limited income, I'm just so scared. Any advice? Please be kind. Thanks!