Anonymous wrote:Ps I grew up to prefer sleeping alone in a pitch black room.

Me too--lights off, door closed. For this kid, I might talk to a therapist about this, since at this point it sounds pretty interfering. CBT can be helpful if it turns out to be separation anxiety disorder or something else anxiety-related (phobia of the dark, etc.).

Ps I grew up to prefer sleeping alone in a pitch black room.

I was that kid. It was torture. I’d do anything to help him, move his room, let him share, get him a dog. Even a mattress on the floor in your room. You can get romantic in another room.

My DD has been like this ever since we moved when she was 7. She sleeps in her sister’s room and her own room is empty at night. She’s 10 now and I have no advice, but wanted to let you know that I’m in a similar boat. Good luck!

Would putting a baby monitor in his room for a while work? Or maybe you could give him some kind of noisemaker or phone to reassure him that he could get help if he needed it.

When I was a teenager I got into mysteries, and after binging on Agatha Christie, phyllis Whitney, etc. I ended freaking myself out. What helped me was a) changing my reading material and b) Psalm 27:1 (I realize that it may not be helpful to everyone, but as a Christian it was very comforting both then and at other times I was fearful. If your family has any religious faith, you might find something in it to comfort your son and calm his fears.)

Psalm 27 King James Version (KJV)
27 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+27&version=KJV

Your description sounds like the kind of anxiety that my DD, 8, has. Her therapist said that if you give into the anxiety, it just gets worse. The kids need to be exposed to their triggers in small doses, working their way up. So I don't think it is a "tough it out" situation, but perhaps check in with a therapist for how to help manage his anxiety and come up with a plan. He will feel so proud of himself when he conquers this fear.

Is it just you parents and him? Or are there other siblings too and all of you are on one floor and he’s on another by himself?

I have a kid who simply doesn't like being alone on a different floor of the house. He would be incredibly anxious about this. He's ten now - and until last year, someone stayed in his room with him until he fell asleep. (DH and I took turns working on our laptops in his room. It was insane, but we made it through).

I don't know, OP. I think a lot of people on DCUM will say make him tough it out, but if he's got general fears and just needs to be closer to people, do you really want to put him through that? I'd upend the house. Hate to say it.

I would listen to him and either move him down to the floor that you are on or move myself upstairs to the floor that he is on. I wouldn't have liked being all alone like that when I was his age.

Of course when he's a teenager he'll love the privacy. But in the meantime...yeah, you guys should all be on the same floor.

Anonymous wrote:Change rooms. 7 is very young to be on his own floor. He can change when he wants to as a teenager.

PP with the 7 year old, he is next to us. The OPs kid is 9 and on his own floor. It sounds like he was fine for a while and that this is a new thing. He might just need some reassurance.

My son was like that but he had other fears as well. Does yours have other anxiety causing issues?

Walkie talkie.

You're welcome!

Change rooms. 7 is very young to be on his own floor. He can change when he wants to as a teenager.

My 7 year old is not scared but lonely. There are nights I bring my Kindle and chill in his room while he falls asleep. It helps him relax a little bit. Maybe you can take 30 minutes and do emails or read on a device in his room while he falls asleep. Help him feel comfortable again and then start to leave after 20 minutes or just check in on him after a few weeks.

DS, 9, has never loved his new bedroom since we moved in January. He’s on the second floor alone in the biggest room in the house. We thought we were doing his a favor with the better bedroom, his own bathroom, etc. and he was initially fine with it.

Over the past few months he’s been more and more nervous about being alone upstairs. His fears are mostly irrational kid stuff (burglers, scary stories, etc.) and he acknowledges that the fears are foolish but he says he can’t control his brain.

Anyone BTDT and have tips? We’re leaving more lights on and doors open, but he’s still a mess (and getting worse) and our old creaky house isn’t helping. I’m hoping for like a magic nightlight recommendation or books ideas or something because moving him would require uprooting the whole house and i really don’t want to do that.