“Worth it” depends on your financial situation and educational opportunities near you.

Like PP, I think it’s preferable for kids to live on campus for at least a couple years. It’s about learning to adult and making connections.

But, if the choice was living at home and getting a top notch education vs going away and getting a mediocre one, I would vote for the excellent education.

And if it was living at home with no debt, vs incurring debt for room and board, I would probably encourage my kid to live on campus for a year to get the independence and then live at home, in the basement, with a separate entrance and privacy, and save 75% of the debt.

We are fortunate in that we can afford, at a minimum, 4 years of any in state VA college and R &B no debt. Which given our kids stats, should translate to decent OOS public and SLAC with merit options as well. The sacrifices we made to get there, such as driving older cars, are worth it to us.

Part of growing up is learning to live away from home.

Anonymous wrote:I think if the alternative is a lot of debt, then living at home is the better option. But, if you can afford it, living on campus at least for the first year is best. DH lived at home when he went to college -- nobody else in his family ever went to college so when he decided to go to the local U that just seemed the thing to do. But he now insists our kids will live on campus. He can see that he missed out on a lot of building connections that is an important part of college. He really didn't make friends in college, just went to class, came home, did his work, and continued to hang out with old HS friends.

If a student has to live at home, they need to still understand the important of engaging with the campus community and make the effort to make friends, connect with professors, get involved in extracurricular activities. Otherwise, they are missing out on a big part of college.

I feel the same way as PP's DH. I missed out on a lot at college by living at home.

Anonymous wrote:I plan to insist on my kids going out of state for college (we’re in Maryland, so anywhere in the state is “close” IMO). To me, part of the college experience is getting out from under your parents and starting to make your own way in the world. I also want them to get out of the DC metro bubble and meet people from other parts of the country. If we are only an hour or two away, it’s too easy for them to rely on mom and dad as plan B.

We share this view, and our older two both attend colleges far away (Texas and California). But it’s definitely a luxury situation, and we would have completely different priorities if we were financially stretched (or just prioritized saving money) given that you can get a great education virtually anywhere. I agree with others that ideally all kids would, at a minimum, be able to live on campus for at least a couple years to take full advantage of what schools offer, including deeper connections with classmates.

My DD majored in a topic not well founded in our state. Her OOS uni is highly ranked in her field. She is now at a great institute for grad school. Sometimes, you have to see the long view.

Private colleges may give generous financial aid, depending on the college, regardless of state of residence. (In contrast, public universities usually don't give much financial aid to out of state students.) To see an estimated financial aid package, use the Net Price Calculator on the financial aid websites of colleges your student might be interested in.

In addition, some public universities offer large automatic merit scholarships to out-of-state students based on levels of stats.

I plan to insist on my kids going out of state for college (we’re in Maryland, so anywhere in the state is “close” IMO). To me, part of the college experience is getting out from under your parents and starting to make your own way in the world. I also want them to get out of the DC metro bubble and meet people from other parts of the country. If we are only an hour or two away, it’s too easy for them to rely on mom and dad as plan B.

Anonymous wrote:I think if the alternative is a lot of debt, then living at home is the better option. But, if you can afford it, living on campus at least for the first year is best. DH lived at home when he went to college -- nobody else in his family ever went to college so when he decided to go to the local U that just seemed the thing to do. But he now insists our kids will live on campus. He can see that he missed out on a lot of building connections that is an important part of college. He really didn't make friends in college, just went to class, came home, did his work, and continued to hang out with old HS friends.

If a student has to live at home, they need to still understand the important of engaging with the campus community and make the effort to make friends, connect with professors, get involved in extracurricular activities. Otherwise, they are missing out on a big part of college.

Same for me. I commutes to college and had the same experience as the PPs husband, except all my HS friends had gone off to college. So it was kinda lonely.

Anonymous wrote:I think if the alternative is a lot of debt, then living at home is the better option. But, if you can afford it, living on campus at least for the first year is best. DH lived at home when he went to college -- nobody else in his family ever went to college so when he decided to go to the local U that just seemed the thing to do. But he now insists our kids will live on campus. He can see that he missed out on a lot of building connections that is an important part of college. He really didn't make friends in college, just went to class, came home, did his work, and continued to hang out with old HS friends.

If a student has to live at home, they need to still understand the important of engaging with the campus community and make the effort to make friends, connect with professors, get involved in extracurricular activities. Otherwise, they are missing out on a big part of college.

This seems to be common. IMO, if the goal is to save money by living at home, the student might as well attend local community college for the first two years; that will save even more money vs. the tuition of the 4 year college.

There is a lot of growing up that is done during the college years. With all the support that colleges put in place, it’s a relatively safe place to screw up (relatively...not talking about profoundly bad behavior).

Staying at home doesn’t provide that same opportunity to merge into adulthood.

For some families, yes.
For some families, no.

Make the decision that works best for your family.

One thing is not everyone has a local university, or a state university that’s less expensive. There may be community colleges, but where I live, the closest state schools are all at least an hour away, longer in rush hour traffic.

I commuted to UMCP and personally I don’t want that for my kids. I missed out on a lot (did I really want to drive back around the Beltway on a weekend for something? Did I want to stay late at night for a study group?).

So all in all it depends on everyone’s data points for “worth it”.

I think if the alternative is a lot of debt, then living at home is the better option. But, if you can afford it, living on campus at least for the first year is best. DH lived at home when he went to college -- nobody else in his family ever went to college so when he decided to go to the local U that just seemed the thing to do. But he now insists our kids will live on campus. He can see that he missed out on a lot of building connections that is an important part of college. He really didn't make friends in college, just went to class, came home, did his work, and continued to hang out with old HS friends.

If a student has to live at home, they need to still understand the important of engaging with the campus community and make the effort to make friends, connect with professors, get involved in extracurricular activities. Otherwise, they are missing out on a big part of college.

It just depends on your child and your financial situation. It is harder to meet people when not living in the dorms..but not impoossbile through clubs etc. My mom lived at home many years ago and always says she feels like she missed out. Obviously you are really there for the education in the end.

With these incredibly high college costs, is it really worth the money for your kid go somewhere other than a college/university near home?

Wouldn't you get a bigger bang for your buck by sending them to a local university and having them stay at home instead of paying the exorbitant room and board fees?

It's not like they couldn't go out with their friends at night or the weekend!