Anonymous wrote:Number 1. Find the job in other country first. This is not as easy as you may think.

Also, as a non-citizen of that country, you may not be eligible for this one year of maternity leave. I hope you are not as you sound like a leech!

You cannot afford a 2nd child but are willing to cheat another country.

You just sound jealous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Number 1. Find the job in other country first. This is not as easy as you may think.

Also, as a non-citizen of that country, you may not be eligible for this one year of maternity leave. I hope you are not as you sound like a leech!

You cannot afford a 2nd child but are willing to cheat another country.

OP here. I am actually a citizen of the country we're moving to. I don't have US citizenship and I'm hugely looking forward to leaving people like you and your toxic opinions behind.

That said, I've loved my time here in the US and largely met wonderful Americans, who will be our friends for life. You're most welcome to come to my country and enjoy the generous and popular leave policies! So long as you have a work visa, you're entitled to the same work benefits as citizens.

High fives to you for that response. Sorry for the pp, glad you will get the support parents deserve when you return to Europe. I agree with others that it sounds reasonable to wait, especially since you are a citizen of that country it feels more likely you can find a job fairly quickly. Then you would only have to wait three months before you start trying. If you end up having trouble finding a job, then you can just go for it and start trying.

Holy moley, sorry about that terrible PP.

As someone who is in the middle of secondary infertility and wishes we would have started TTC #2 sooner, I still think you should wait until you get a new job. A few months likely won't make a difference even if you do have fertility issues, and odds are you won't have fertility issues. You could always get a fertility workup (bloodwork and an ultrasound usually) to make sure you don't have anything unexpected going on.

Anonymous wrote:Number 1. Find the job in other country first. This is not as easy as you may think.

Also, as a non-citizen of that country, you may not be eligible for this one year of maternity leave. I hope you are not as you sound like a leech!

You cannot afford a 2nd child but are willing to cheat another country.

OP here. I am actually a citizen of the country we're moving to. I don't have US citizenship and I'm hugely looking forward to leaving people like you and your toxic opinions behind.

That said, I've loved my time here in the US and largely met wonderful Americans, who will be our friends for life. You're most welcome to come to my country and enjoy the generous and popular leave policies! So long as you have a work visa, you're entitled to the same work benefits as citizens.

Anonymous wrote:Number 1. Find the job in other country first. This is not as easy as you may think.

Also, as a non-citizen of that country, you may not be eligible for this one year of maternity leave. I hope you are not as you sound like a leech!

You cannot afford a 2nd child but are willing to cheat another country.

Weird post. OP should definitely check whether she would qualify for the parental leave benefit as a non-citizen, but if she qualifies I don’t see how she is “cheating” or a “leech.”

Number 1. Find the job in other country first. This is not as easy as you may think.

Also, as a non-citizen of that country, you may not be eligible for this one year of maternity leave. I hope you are not as you sound like a leech!

You cannot afford a 2nd child but are willing to cheat another country.

If you're not sure you can get by on one salary, I would wait until you find a job and TTC a few months into that job.

You already know this, but just because TTC your first was challenging doesn't always mean it'll be the same way with your second. I had trouble conceiving my first and had to have a medicated IUI after 1.5 years of trying without so much as a single late period. We decided to start trying for our second and stopped using protection the month our eldest turned one. We were thinking it would take a while and most definitely not aiming for two under two... but I got pregnant the following month.

I'd wait until you find a job.

We have a lovely one year old, and we'd both like to have another baby. I'm 34, DH is 38. It wasn't the easiest road to pregnancy - first pregnancy ended in late miscarriage and second pregnancy took 7 months to achieve (which felt like forever at the time).

In January, I plan to resign from my job to follow my husband's great job opportunity in Europe. We will be able to get by frugally on one salary. But I'll need to find a new job for us to be comfortable and achieve our financial goals. Happily, most employers in this country offer 12-months (mostly) paid maternity leave, if you've worked for the employer for at least a year.

Should we wait until I've found a new job to start trying for a baby? Which could be at least a year away.... Or should we start trying soon, seeing as it took us 2 years total to have our first child? The risk is that we get lucky and get pregnant quickly, but will miss out on the very generous maternity leave. We've agreed that I will take at least 9 months off if we have a second, but we've never had the experience of living on one salary before.

I know there's no perfect answer, and only we can decide. But I'd appreciate other perspectives!