Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:56     Subject: Re:Where do you think mean kids get it from?
I agree that it's the parents but not always that the parents are abusive. Some parents don't spend enough time fostering things like empathy. When my son (who wasn't hit at home) hit another child at the pool I explained that he was not to do that and that he had made her sad. I asked him how he would feel if his friend hit him and when he responded I told him that's how he'd made the other child feel. I think it's never too early to teach compassion and empathy.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:54     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Are your children "wild animals", PP?
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:48     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Anonymous wrote:I think your expectations of good behavior for a child is unrealistic. They are wild animals with different temperaments that need years of guidance and experience to learn to use their natural talents in appropriate ways to navigate a complex social world. You can model good behavior, you can gently correct when appropriate, and you can throw their butts out of your house when truly egregious behavior occurs. A child who can’t sometimes be dominant may never have the skills to assert themselves when and where it’s appropriate as an adult. To judge a woman by her child’s tendencies, ignores years of painful growth that culminated in someone you would consider a friend.


I agree with this.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:43     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Totally depends on what one means by “mean,” how old the kid, how frequently and for how long this behavior lasts... nearly every kid experiments with “mean” behavior and some developmentally normal (if mildly problematic) behavior can strike some adults as “mean.”
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:41     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Parents at first, but then school culture/peers.

The more mean a child’s peers are, the more sullen and unhappy and rude a child will be. The attitude rubs off. I have seen whole schools that have mean cultures, and schools with much kinder children.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:31     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
It is always parents. If other girls are young and following one that is mean, they get it from her, probably she is pressuring them and they fear her being mean to them. But, it is always parents and negative family dynamic. Most likely someone is abusive in some way towards that kid, or bullying their own kid. Some parents don't recognize their bullying behavior and the effect of it. Parents do not give a mean gene to kids, kids copy their parents, and if a parent is a mean person, you can safely assume they are mean to their kid too, kids copy that and the way it makes sick parent feel powerful, that is how kid with not power at home, learnt to feel powerful when with other kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:27     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
For the most part ..parents

Some parents model bad behavior.
Some parents have a "mean gene" and their kids do too
Some parents don't give their kid enough attention so they act out
Some parents give their kids too much attention so they act out.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:25     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?

Mom & Dad

Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:24     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Anonymous wrote:Do you think it is in their nature to be mean? Tv? Parents? Someone else was mean to them first?

I have an elementary child who dealt with mean girls teasing and just being mean to my child all year. My child is generally well liked but these girls are just mean, not just to my child but to one another and other kids in class.

I also have a preschool child. My friend’s daughter purposely excludes my younger child and I witnessed her taunting and laughing at my child after making my child cry.

It is one thing for kids in school. This girl is my very good friend’s daughter. It makes me wonder what kind of person my friend is. She is a great friend to me but her daughter is a little mean brat. I’m probably going to avoid family gatherings for a while. Don’t want to necessarily end our friendship but it really makes me question my friend. My friend thinks her daughter is an angel. Not sure if she is in denial or truly doesn’t know.

Your friend is clearly a negligent parent. Lots of parents are. They're busy and tired.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:20     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
I think your expectations of good behavior for a child is unrealistic. They are wild animals with different temperaments that need years of guidance and experience to learn to use their natural talents in appropriate ways to navigate a complex social world. You can model good behavior, you can gently correct when appropriate, and you can throw their butts out of your house when truly egregious behavior occurs. A child who can’t sometimes be dominant may never have the skills to assert themselves when and where it’s appropriate as an adult. To judge a woman by her child’s tendencies, ignores years of painful growth that culminated in someone you would consider a friend.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:19     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?

We should also be thinking about how the seeds for depression develop during childhood.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:19     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Parents. I've spent enough time on this forum to see how truly mean some adults are. Even if their kids don't see that behavior, I think it's just a genetic thing that gets passed down.

I'm always a little shocked by what some women say regarding other women's appearances. Because if anything like that was ever said about their kid online, they'd be furious.

So for some kids (definitely not all) it's their parents.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:16     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Parents.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:14     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?

The parents who create their child's environment
have more influence than anyone.

Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:12     Subject: Where do you think mean kids get it from?
Do you think it is in their nature to be mean? Tv? Parents? Someone else was mean to them first?

I have an elementary child who dealt with mean girls teasing and just being mean to my child all year. My child is generally well liked but these girls are just mean, not just to my child but to one another and other kids in class.

I also have a preschool child. My friend’s daughter purposely excludes my younger child and I witnessed her taunting and laughing at my child after making my child cry.

It is one thing for kids in school. This girl is my very good friend’s daughter. It makes me wonder what kind of person my friend is. She is a great friend to me but her daughter is a little mean brat. I’m probably going to avoid family gatherings for a while. Don’t want to necessarily end our friendship but it really makes me question my friend. My friend thinks her daughter is an angel. Not sure if she is in denial or truly doesn’t know.