Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:09     Subject: Re:Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

I'm guessing what happened is she talked to some nanny buddies and realized she's not getting what they are getting or she's doing duties that other nannies aren't doing for the same level of pay. I have had a nanny and have been through this dynamic.

This is what is tricky about the nanny-parent dynamic. It is an incredibly personal relationship. This person is in your home and taking care of your children. But then also, it's a business relationship and she's not a part of your family, she's working for you and has her own needs to look out for.

It sounds like her timing sucks. No question about that. But try to figure out if what she's asking for is fair and if she's a good, reliable nanny who loves your kids, don't be so eager to get rid of her. They are hard to find.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:08     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Anonymous wrote:If you are asking her to do extra hours and more duties, then its reasonable to give her a bit more money and a raise after the child is born. I don't think its unreasonable. This is her job. If you got more duties, more hours, etc. you would expect a raise. It sounds like you cannot afford three kids an a nanny and that is not her problem.


We're not talking about after my maternity leave, we're talking about more hours and money starting immediately like when I check into the hospital in two days. Oh, and she will no longer do the things we have been paying her to do.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:08     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Anonymous wrote:If you are asking her to do extra hours and more duties, then its reasonable to give her a bit more money and a raise after the child is born. I don't think its unreasonable. This is her job. If you got more duties, more hours, etc. you would expect a raise. It sounds like you cannot afford three kids an a nanny and that is not her problem.


OP said they just agreed on the new terms earlier this month. So presumably the hours/duties/money ratio was settled then. Waiting until 2 days before the surgery to reopen negotiations after you've already agreed to new terms is manipulative.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:07     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Did she say why she couldn't do these things or why it was a problem? Did your date change? You will most likely have to find a new nanny.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:04     Subject: Re:Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

As a nanny, I can tell you that your nanny is 100% in the wrong here. I am sorry this is happening to you, OP. Give her the extorted money and then fire her ass ASAP. She is making such a stupid, short-sighted error here as she will need you for a reference.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:04     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We've already been through the options and there's nothing we can do in this situation but to pay her and listen to her as we absolutely need the help, so this is just a vent. Our nanny of three years texted us suddenly to say she was unhappy with the hours and job responsibilities that we are requesting of her during my scheduled c section for our third child and she will require more money and more reimbursement. Despite doing it for years, she states will be unable to help meal prep and to help with driving children to places while I am in the hospital and recovering. We hired her for this job as we do not have local, healthy grandparents or other family to assist us. She told us this two days before my scheduled surgery. My DH is beside himself with anxiety about this.

We are absolutely up S creek without a paddle and I am blindsided by this and very hurt. I trusted this woman completely and we had agreed on terms (or so I thought) earlier in the month. I feel that she is taking advantage of us in our time of most vulnerability and need.


I’m so sorry. You’re right- pay her more, and when you’re home and settled fire her ass and get a new nanny. Congrats on the baby!!


+1 Doesn't sound like your nanny values the job you're offering anymore. You get a new nanny when you're better, but for now you need her.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:04     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Sounds like nanny was feeling exploited. You CAN find someone else. Care.com is bursting with women (and a few men) who are desperate for work and will accept whatever terms you favor. Show nanny that you aren’t a chump!
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:02     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

If you are asking her to do extra hours and more duties, then its reasonable to give her a bit more money and a raise after the child is born. I don't think its unreasonable. This is her job. If you got more duties, more hours, etc. you would expect a raise. It sounds like you cannot afford three kids an a nanny and that is not her problem.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 17:00     Subject: Re:Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Do you have any friends who can help you? If so, I’d refuse and give her notice, and then make it work. I don’t think it could trust my children with someone so opportunistic. Her behavior is gross.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 16:59     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Could you talk to her and say "you agreed to these terms when we spoke earlier. has something changed that you no longer think our prior agreement will work?"

Agreed that you need to find a new nanny, but maybe you can work with her to get more out of her (or at least call her out on reneging on your agreement).
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 16:58     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Anonymous wrote:We've already been through the options and there's nothing we can do in this situation but to pay her and listen to her as we absolutely need the help, so this is just a vent. Our nanny of three years texted us suddenly to say she was unhappy with the hours and job responsibilities that we are requesting of her during my scheduled c section for our third child and she will require more money and more reimbursement. Despite doing it for years, she states will be unable to help meal prep and to help with driving children to places while I am in the hospital and recovering. We hired her for this job as we do not have local, healthy grandparents or other family to assist us. She told us this two days before my scheduled surgery. My DH is beside himself with anxiety about this.

We are absolutely up S creek without a paddle and I am blindsided by this and very hurt. I trusted this woman completely and we had agreed on terms (or so I thought) earlier in the month. I feel that she is taking advantage of us in our time of most vulnerability and need.


I’m so sorry. You’re right- pay her more, and when you’re home and settled fire her ass and get a new nanny. Congrats on the baby!!
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 16:58     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

I'd pay her and look for a new nanny as soon as I was back on my feet. Seriously if you'd already agreed on her pay and responsibilities during this time she's being ridiculous. She'll make more money in the next 6 weeks but then be out of a job without a reference.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 16:57     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Stop stressing about it. Pay her extra right now to get thru the c-section and recovery. Then find a new nanny.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 16:57     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

Pay up and start looking for a new nanny as soon as you can.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2019 16:56     Subject: Nanny demanding extra money 2 days before my scheduled c section

We've already been through the options and there's nothing we can do in this situation but to pay her and listen to her as we absolutely need the help, so this is just a vent. Our nanny of three years texted us suddenly to say she was unhappy with the hours and job responsibilities that we are requesting of her during my scheduled c section for our third child and she will require more money and more reimbursement. Despite doing it for years, she states will be unable to help meal prep and to help with driving children to places while I am in the hospital and recovering. We hired her for this job as we do not have local, healthy grandparents or other family to assist us. She told us this two days before my scheduled surgery. My DH is beside himself with anxiety about this.

We are absolutely up S creek without a paddle and I am blindsided by this and very hurt. I trusted this woman completely and we had agreed on terms (or so I thought) earlier in the month. I feel that she is taking advantage of us in our time of most vulnerability and need.