Statistics say she will likely move from one abuser to another.

I think the abusive father is threatening a lot of things that aren't true.

What area are you in? Are you outside of the DMV?

At that age, the girl can simply refuse to go to the father's. He can scream and yell and call the police, but the odds of th epiolice forcibly putting a 17 year old in a car and driving her to the father seem very very low to me.


Is there fear of him coming after the girl/mother with a gun? I think the longer story might be needed here.

Because at her age, she can refuse to go, and just hold out for a few months.

Oh, and a commissioner ( MD) or magistrate ( VA) do protective orders, not the Police.

Not sure who you are in this scenario but you have bad info.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
When can't she refuse to go with her father? Call the judge herself to day she is being abused by him, call police if he comes near her, ask for a restraining order?

The father can send the police to pick her up if she doesn’t show up for visitation. She can’t call anyone when it’s happening. He won’t allow her access to a phone. The police said she can request a restraining order only after provable threats or additional injuries.

Umm no. Not showing up for visitation is civil. The Police do not provide taxi service for custody/visitation issues.

This whole thing is bizarre. Why cant she live with her Mother now?
I would not get married to someone else to get out of a bad situation. There must be other options.
What County/State is this in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
When can't she refuse to go with her father? Call the judge herself to day she is being abused by him, call police if he comes near her, ask for a restraining order?

The father can send the police to pick her up if she doesn’t show up for visitation. She can’t call anyone when it’s happening. He won’t allow her access to a phone. The police said she can request a restraining order only after provable threats or additional injuries.

Would the police pursue this? I’d be very surprised if they did. Does the mother have primary custody?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a very bad idea. I left home a tad bit older than that to escape an abusive sibling and enabling mother. I moved in with a man who became my first H. He was supposed to be my safe place. He ended up being very controlling. Then emotionally abusive. Then physically threatening. Then actually “accidentally” harming and attempting harm.

She would continue to live with her mother after marriage.

What would happen if she just doesn’t return to the father? Can she stay with her mother? I have a hard time imaging the police dragging her unwillingly to his house as a 17yo.

Anonymous wrote:
When can't she refuse to go with her father? Call the judge herself to day she is being abused by him, call police if he comes near her, ask for a restraining order?

The father can send the police to pick her up if she doesn’t show up for visitation. She can’t call anyone when it’s happening. He won’t allow her access to a phone. The police said she can request a restraining order only after provable threats or additional injuries.

It’s a very bad idea. I left home a tad bit older than that to escape an abusive sibling and enabling mother. I moved in with a man who became my first H. He was supposed to be my safe place. He ended up being very controlling. Then emotionally abusive. Then physically threatening. Then actually “accidentally” harming and attempting harm.

Not when, why.

When can't she refuse to go with her father? Call the judge herself to day she is being abused by him, call police if he comes near her, ask for a restraining order?

I think there must be other options. She shouldn’t go back to her father’s. I would continue to explore the judicial system for solutions.

WTF if you're family why don't you apply for emergency custody?

It’s a long, drawn out story. This is the summed up version. With only a few months left until the teen’s birthday, she can longer tolerate her abusive, control freak father. CPS has documented injuries, but decided not to proceed with charges. Only a judge can change the current custody order, but it will take several months to get a hearing.

There was a recent blow up in the situation, and then teen is terrified of being beaten when she has to return to her father’s house. The police advised her to call when/if that happens, but the father does not ever allow the girl to use the phone. She isn’t ever permitted to call her mother.

Marriage, and later a divorce, would fix this immediate problem. It seems drastic, I know. How bad of an idea is it to marry someone she has a platonic relationship with?