Fine with their friends, not ok/respectful around me or other adults

I have a swear a lot because the words just took off the tongue so well.

I’ve talked to my kids about how grown-ups only like hearing other grown-ups using those words. And that they’ll get in trouble at school for using them, and they’ll deal with the consequences.

I think the reason it grates when they use them is because I don’t want them experiencing the emotions that prompt them in me. There’s a loss of innocence that I prefer to be shielded from until they are older.

My kid has always had an excellent filter and sense of place. So he is allowed to swear at home, racial epithets aside, and as long as he doesn't address it towards us. So he can say a word if he drops something, for example, but he can't say damn you mother or worse

Anonymous wrote:I have told my kids that there is a time and place for such things. And unless they understand the rules around this, they cannot do it. It wouldn’t both me for a teen to say certain things at home, but only if they know they cannot do it at school or wherever. And certain words are off limits always.

This. Until they understand environments where it will tolerated, no swearing. And certain words are always punished.

PP here. And my kids are high school and college now and don’t have potty mouths. It can be done!

You get to decide. It’s up to you. I don’t like it because it gives off an impression of ignorance, classlessness and disrespect —things I believe are all lost on today’s youth.

Lead by example. If you swear, they’re going to swear. If you don’t swear, they still might try it (kids on the school bus and at school, WOW) but if you tell them to stop, they’ll respect you and stop, as long as you practice what you preach.

In addition, no calling adults by their first name. Mr/Mrs/Ms to everyone. Whenever I refer to one of their friend’s parents, I always say “Mr/Mrs/Ms” so-and-so. It helps build the habit.

I tell them I should never hear them cursing (I wouldn’t be shocked if they have or will do it with their friends). I tell them that if friends’ parents hear it, they are less likely to be invited over. I tell them that name-calling is a no-no and worse than cursing that doesn’t involve name calling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your thoughts on children using curse words?

Is there an appropriate age when kids / teens can cuss?

It depends, OP. Are you trying to raise a person with class and manners, or do you not care about that sort of thing?

+1 and anger management issues? Everything in moderation. Yes, I might say ‘damn’ when stub a toe, but I’m not going to say it if the hostess tells me the wait will be 15 minutes.

I mean, we apologize when we swear in front of the kids and talk about how no one in the family should use words like that. What's wrong with that?

My BFF had a swear jar. Every time she swore, she put a quarter in the jar, every time her kid swore, she put a quarter in her own jar. They each owned the other one's jar (so once a month or whenever, my friend got all the money i her kid's jar, kid got all the money in friend's jar). Guess who swore more...

Anonymous wrote:What are your thoughts on children using curse words?

Is there an appropriate age when kids / teens can cuss?

It depends, OP. Are you trying to raise a person with class and manners, or do you not care about that sort of thing?

My view is that if I’m going to be upset if my child curses, I need to not say those words either. So no curse words in our house or when he’s with me or with family. And I don’t curse either. If I want to say a curse word alone when I stub my toe, fine.

Anonymous wrote:My toddler heard me say shit when I spilled something on the floor...he says it now when spills/tosses things on the floor...oh well.

Ignore, it will stop.. It happens to all of us.

The issue is elementary school and for us its a hard no. You can hear it, you can ask us what it means and we will tell you (or a modified version), but you are not to say it. Same with middle school. High school depends on the word.

My toddler heard me say shit when I spilled something on the floor...he says it now when spills/tosses things on the floor...oh well.

I have told my kids that there is a time and place for such things. And unless they understand the rules around this, they cannot do it. It wouldn’t both me for a teen to say certain things at home, but only if they know they cannot do it at school or wherever. And certain words are off limits always.

What are your thoughts on children using curse words?

Is there an appropriate age when kids / teens can cuss?