This is PP, but just wanted to add that many of us are doing this without family support nearby. It takes time, but building a community of friends is invaluable.

In my experience, making friends takes time. It’s not so easy just to make friends like PPs are saying. How old are your kids? Get as involved as you can and be open and friendly. Don’t feel like you’re bothering people by inviting them to do things. Eventually some people will stick. Also, it’s counterintuitive but ask for a favor. Some of my best mom friends are ones who asked me to take their kid for an hour so they could run an errand. It made me feel “in the club” a bit and more emboldened to ask them for a favor.

We just make it work. Gets easier as kids get older.

Hire people. Make friends.

Join a moms group (this is where I met my mom friends)
Start attending church/synagogue/and get involved with other moms there
If your children are in daycare or preschool, ask the director if teachers are allowed to babysit and if so, which ones (at mine some did) - while this won't help you with friends, it might give you and DH an evening with no kids
If you are SAHM, go to a park near your home and look for who your child plays with and set up a play date

My coping strategy is “just keep going.” Because it’s not going to change for me. I’m about to move halfway across the country and will start over with finding my people again. It sucks, but a lot of other things would suck a lot more, so I make the best of what I do have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have no family or friend support system while raising kids, what coping strategies do you use? DH and I have no local family or close friends and we are barely making it. Oh how I wish for some local grandparents who could let us have a weekend together without our kids.

"Oh how I wish" isn't a plan. "Oh how I wish" isn't effort.

As for overnight, free child care? HAHA. Either develop friendships and trade off doing this for each other, or PAY for it.

People are so rude. There’s a general aggressiveness about certain Americans whenever anyone mentions lack of support.

It’s so unnecessary, really, you need to grow up. (Learning basic manners wouldn’t hurt either.)

Make friends. Trade weekends.

Join a Moms group if you are a sahm or home during the week at all, Or if you work talk to people at daycare now and again. You need to make friends.
I moved to MD for my spouse back in 2010 pre kid and make some great dog friends just from being out and about and being social. Then when we had DD I joined a Moms group even though I work I have days off during the week. I now have a great circle of Mom friends.

Having said that, we only go away once a year without DD and leave her with Grandparents for the one night. If we didnt have Grandparents we would not have done this.

Anonymous wrote:If you have no family or friend support system while raising kids, what coping strategies do you use? DH and I have no local family or close friends and we are barely making it. Oh how I wish for some local grandparents who could let us have a weekend together without our kids.

"Oh how I wish" isn't a plan. "Oh how I wish" isn't effort.

As for overnight, free child care? HAHA. Either develop friendships and trade off doing this for each other, or PAY for it.

Get outside and start talking to your neighbors. Host an outdoor pizza night or potluck BBQ in your driveway. Start saying hi to people at daycare, school, church, grocery store. Anytime there is anything free and social in your community--farmer's market, fall festival, Christmas lights--do it.

There is a very similar thread to this in Elementary School Parents right now that you might want to check out for ideas.

Make friends. We joined a church and go to every story time, gym class etc etc we can find. I've literally struck up conversations with other people with babies in the vroxery store and exchanged numbers. It's really hard if you're an introvert but people are nice and are also looking for friends! But you have to put in the work.

Go make some friends. Join a church or a babysitting co-op. Instead of wishing for something, make it happen.

If you have no family or friend support system while raising kids, what coping strategies do you use? DH and I have no local family or close friends and we are barely making it. Oh how I wish for some local grandparents who could let us have a weekend together without our kids.