Anonymous
07/09/2019 16:55
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
It's hard to tell if your post is hyperbole or the truth. If you can barely take care of yourself then yeah, there's a serious problem here and you need to put your kids first and put them in a safe, stable environment.
Are you saying that you relapsed last summer and you have been off the wagon for almost a year while the kids have been with you?
What is the ex like to the kids? What is the home environment like over there?
Are you saying that you relapsed last summer and you have been off the wagon for almost a year while the kids have been with you?
What is the ex like to the kids? What is the home environment like over there?
Anonymous
07/09/2019 10:06
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
10:02 here. Wanted to add...YOU ARE NOT AN AWFUL MOTHER!
Anonymous
07/09/2019 10:02
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
OP, I know this is hard to hear, but your children have an able-bodied parent who can take care of them right now. He is equally a parent to them as you are. Allow your children to stay with their father and get the help you need.
Anonymous
07/09/2019 10:01
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
OP, you need to put the kids first. Is the ex your only option? Could you potentially move yourself and the children in with your family to help care for them while you focus on getting sober and stable?
If not, then I think you already know what you need to do. If your life is a mess and you are struggling with substance abuse, and your ex is the only source of stability the kids have, you need to send them to their dad's.
If not, then I think you already know what you need to do. If your life is a mess and you are struggling with substance abuse, and your ex is the only source of stability the kids have, you need to send them to their dad's.
Anonymous
07/09/2019 09:56
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Anonymous wrote:Are you western Maryland stripper OP?
I don’t know who that is
Anonymous
07/09/2019 09:38
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Are you western Maryland stripper OP?
Anonymous
07/09/2019 09:35
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Anonymous wrote:Long and short: my life is a mess, by any measure. I left my ex two years ago when my kids were an infant and a toddler, and it’s been a huge struggle to create stability since. Employment has been unsteady, I’ve had no chance to rebuild my financial life, and I’ve barely been getting by. I’ve just made the decision to get sober - I was, but I relapsed last summer. The fact is, my ex can provide more stability than I can and he (not unknindly) suggested keeping them for a while while I get on my feet. I hate this idea but I simply cannot provide my kids what they need right now. I am barely functioning myself. I’m not sure what I’m looking for here, but I just need to know that if I let him have custody now it won’t be a forever thing. I need help and I don’t know how to continue.
Give them to your ex before he goes to court and gets permanent custody! Then you work on getting sober and staying sober. Most churches have free counselling as well as AA meetings. You can do this but it takes time so give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Good luck.
Anonymous
07/09/2019 00:34
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need to do at least 50/50, or even 70/30 and focus on you. Once you are doing better then 50/50.
We live a day’s travel from each other. For context, between last August (after they’d visited their dad for the summer) and this summer, they spent maybe a total of 1.5 weeks with their dad. This kind of custody arrangement is not possible right now, although her father will be moving closer to where I live next year.
So. why can't he have them more this summer and you can get yourself some help? Then when he moves closer, you share custody. Sounds like you need a break.
Anonymous
07/09/2019 00:30
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Anonymous wrote:OP, no. He won't give them back and will use this against you. My abusive, cheating, a**hole ex did this to me every time I tried to put my life back together.
Move you and the kids by your family. Just go. Don't give them to him. Mine ended up with supervised visitation with me and he's on wife #4 and my DD is being raise as if she's her "new mommy" and I'm just a chore she has to attend to.
What state are you in? Where does your family live?
I’m in Maryland. I do not have family I can rely upon. This feels absolutely hopeless.
Anonymous
07/08/2019 23:58
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
OP, no. He won't give them back and will use this against you. My abusive, cheating, a**hole ex did this to me every time I tried to put my life back together.
Move you and the kids by your family. Just go. Don't give them to him. Mine ended up with supervised visitation with me and he's on wife #4 and my DD is being raise as if she's her "new mommy" and I'm just a chore she has to attend to.
What state are you in? Where does your family live?
Move you and the kids by your family. Just go. Don't give them to him. Mine ended up with supervised visitation with me and he's on wife #4 and my DD is being raise as if she's her "new mommy" and I'm just a chore she has to attend to.
What state are you in? Where does your family live?
Anonymous
07/08/2019 23:00
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Anonymous wrote:You need to do at least 50/50, or even 70/30 and focus on you. Once you are doing better then 50/50.
We live a day’s travel from each other. For context, between last August (after they’d visited their dad for the summer) and this summer, they spent maybe a total of 1.5 weeks with their dad. This kind of custody arrangement is not possible right now, although her father will be moving closer to where I live next year.
Anonymous
07/08/2019 22:53
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
You need to do at least 50/50, or even 70/30 and focus on you. Once you are doing better then 50/50.
Anonymous
07/08/2019 22:51
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Anonymous wrote:I think you should give the kids to your ex.
Why did you leave him?
He cheated and was abusive. I was suicidal.
Anonymous
07/08/2019 22:50
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
I think you should give the kids to your ex.
Why did you leave him?
Why did you leave him?
Anonymous
07/08/2019 22:48
Subject: Feel like an awful mother (a vent)
Long and short: my life is a mess, by any measure. I left my ex two years ago when my kids were an infant and a toddler, and it’s been a huge struggle to create stability since. Employment has been unsteady, I’ve had no chance to rebuild my financial life, and I’ve barely been getting by. I’ve just made the decision to get sober - I was, but I relapsed last summer. The fact is, my ex can provide more stability than I can and he (not unknindly) suggested keeping them for a while while I get on my feet. I hate this idea but I simply cannot provide my kids what they need right now. I am barely functioning myself. I’m not sure what I’m looking for here, but I just need to know that if I let him have custody now it won’t be a forever thing. I need help and I don’t know how to continue.