She wanted a way to back up he pictures on her phone. I offered her our iCloud family sharing. She took it and I see the selfies she took.

If you didn’t have cameras up, how did you know?

I would chalk it up to curiosity and explain and see if you feel like she gets it. If you feel you have to set up cameras I think you should rematch. It doesn’t seem like it should be that kind of relationship.

Not ok but why don't you buy her a few nice things given you don't pay her very much.

I think to a 20 year old au pair you are a rich lady and there’s a certain curiosity that’s completely natural. Your relationship is also very blurry. She’s technically an employee, but she lives in your house, eats her meals with you and lives as part of your family. On a day to day basis you probably seem more like a mom/aunt/older sister than strictly an employer.

You need to talk to her and say you don’t want her to do it again. But this should not be overly harsh. It’s okay for you to set boundaries, but it’s completely understandable why this girl didn’t know this would be a bad idea.

Thank you everyone for your input. I feel that this is a huge invasion of privacy and am unhappy about it. I am putting myself in her shoes- young girl from a poor country. I definitely did something like this with my mom’s clothes, but I doubt I would do the same in anyone else’s home.
I have emailed our lcc and see what she suggests. I am thinking about talking to her and telling her that because of this we may put cameras in the house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am a b, but I would find anyone going into my bedroom a huge invasion of privacy.

No one is saying it isn’t. The question is how to respond given the context.

They are saying they would have done the same thing. What is wrong with people?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am a b, but I would find anyone going into my bedroom a huge invasion of privacy.

No one is saying it isn’t. The question is how to respond given the context.

Oh hell no OP. If she has the nerve to do this think about what else she may be doing.

Maybe I am a b, but I would find anyone going into my bedroom a huge invasion of privacy.

I would definitely confront her but agree with the others that forgiveness is a good option as long as she’s regretful, you feel good about the kids safety and you can keep a close eye going forward. I don’t think a nest cam in your own bedroom is unreasonable since she shouldn’t have a reason to be in there anyway.

I would just let it go and not say anything. When you are young and broke a huge closet full of nice stuff is so enviable. I would have done something similar and never dreamed of stealing anything. I would probably even go as far as to mention she is free to borrow stuff if she asks. Because Ive been there. And I get it.

ehh I dunno. She's what...19? When I was that age I would totally do something like that. I was a nanny for a very wealthy family my jr year or college and really drooled over her closet. I don't think I tried stuff on though but probably would have if I lived there.

Doesn’t matter when. I’d sit her down and talk about what an invasion of privacy it is and ask if she’s capable of doing her job and if I can trust her in the future. I would set up a camera and rematch if you catch anything Geles.

Hi ladies

What would you say if you caught your au pair going through your closet trying on your clothes without your permission. Nothing is missing. However, this is done when she is supposed to be watching the kids.