Anonymous
06/28/2019 12:09
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
My 13 and 11 year olds are doing this now. They can walk to our swim club, and have to do swim and tennis in the morning, but after that they are free to do whatever. The 13-year-old basically sits at home the rest of the time. The 11-year-old sits at home some of the time and hangs out at the pool the rest of the time.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 10:48
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
OP here. Thanks, guys. I think it would be reasonable to allow him a few weeks and include some productive activities (not too time-consuming) that he can do during that time. We can see how it goes and adjust it if it makes sense to do so.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 10:45
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
Kids are 13. They are home alone 3 weeks out of the summer. They are long days (6:30am-5:30pm.) I think they like it, but they sometimes get bored. They have a list of things they have to do (school work related/household related) each day which theoretically should take 2 hours, they can do to the pool with friends in the afternoon, and they have swim team in the evening.
I can see doing few more than 3 weeks next year as long as they are spread out across the summer. Finding activities for 14y olds is a challenge.
I can see doing few more than 3 weeks next year as long as they are spread out across the summer. Finding activities for 14y olds is a challenge.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 10:28
Subject: Re:When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
I have a 14 yr old and it would be a loooooooong summer without something for him to do. I don't want him playing video games the entire summer. So he is volunteering some weeks and is doing a one week camp too. Vacation is at the end of the summer.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 10:18
Subject: Re:When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
I bet it sounds lonely and sad and not productive to the people who would hate it.
If he wants to do it, why would you think it's lonely and sad? If you think it would be non productive, why? If he were reading instead of shooting baskets or playing video games, would that be productive? There's no reason you can't determine what productive would look like to you and make it part of the summer. Maybe have him plan a family outing for every weekend, or a meet up with friends? Have him plan and execute a project? Give him chores?
If he wants to do it, why would you think it's lonely and sad? If you think it would be non productive, why? If he were reading instead of shooting baskets or playing video games, would that be productive? There's no reason you can't determine what productive would look like to you and make it part of the summer. Maybe have him plan a family outing for every weekend, or a meet up with friends? Have him plan and execute a project? Give him chores?
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:40
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He'll be 12 next summer and he really wants to stay home. DH thinks it would be fine.
I agree with all you guys saying that's too young but I'm not sure I can articulate why. I do trust him to not get into trouble. And I know that he hates situations where he's meeting people for the first time, so he would hate doing a week here and then another week somewhere else. I can't be home 4 hours a day, but he does like shooting baskets in the backyard so he'd do that on his own. And he would play electronics. He doesn't like to read so wouldn't do that willingly.
I don't know, it just seems lonely, sad and not productive.
Agree with you, it seems lonely and sad. Also, 12 is the age where my son (who has always been a rule-following, responsible kid) came across, and then started looking up, inappropriate stuff on the internet. I underestimated how around 12/13/14 kids become a lot more complex in terms of social life, hormones, mental health -- I just don't think it's a great age to have nothing at all planned and no interactions for 8+ hrs/day.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:33
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
Never really, I think kids need to do something productive for at least part of the summer. My 14 yo would be content to read and play video games alone every single day, but I don't let him.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:33
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
This is OP. He'll be 12 next summer and he really wants to stay home. DH thinks it would be fine.
I agree with all you guys saying that's too young but I'm not sure I can articulate why. I do trust him to not get into trouble. And I know that he hates situations where he's meeting people for the first time, so he would hate doing a week here and then another week somewhere else. I can't be home 4 hours a day, but he does like shooting baskets in the backyard so he'd do that on his own. And he would play electronics. He doesn't like to read so wouldn't do that willingly.
I don't know, it just seems lonely, sad and not productive.
I agree with all you guys saying that's too young but I'm not sure I can articulate why. I do trust him to not get into trouble. And I know that he hates situations where he's meeting people for the first time, so he would hate doing a week here and then another week somewhere else. I can't be home 4 hours a day, but he does like shooting baskets in the backyard so he'd do that on his own. And he would play electronics. He doesn't like to read so wouldn't do that willingly.
I don't know, it just seems lonely, sad and not productive.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:21
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
Can you shift hours or telework so he is home alone only 4 hours? And make sure he gets into backyard and actually outside some of the day
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:20
Subject: Re:When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
Anonymous wrote:I think 13 or 14 in theory but agree with PPs that staying home alone for 10-12 weeks straight is a bad idea. He needs to have things to do outside of the house or with his peers.
Ditto. Some down time is good but not all summer. Needs to have something to engage him, could be a volunteering job, a camp, class. Last year with my 13 and 15 yr olds, the 15 yr old volunteered at a camp about 2/3 of the summer and hung out at home the rest of the time. 13 yr old did 2 weeks of sleepaway camp, a couple weeks at a local nature camp that goes up to age 15, and 1 week at a small art studio. Home the rest of the time.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:16
Subject: Re:When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
I think 13 or 14 in theory but agree with PPs that staying home alone for 10-12 weeks straight is a bad idea. He needs to have things to do outside of the house or with his peers.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:01
Subject: Re:When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
I have not. I don’t make my kids go every day. But they must either go to camp or work (volunteer or paid, I don’t care) most days.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:01
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
I have a 12-year-old going into seventh grade. We are doing a week on, week off for camp. It’s not about trust -!I don’t think it’s healthy to Have prolonged periods without much interaction.
We vary the camps. This summer he had an urban gymnastics camp already (loved it), soccer camp, a science camp where he is a counselor in training (he’s done the camp for 5 years now), a college class for middle schoolers on 3D modeling, and an outdoor adventure camp.
I don’t know when I’d let him just do nothing all summer. Maybe at 14 I’ll start doing less camps.
We vary the camps. This summer he had an urban gymnastics camp already (loved it), soccer camp, a science camp where he is a counselor in training (he’s done the camp for 5 years now), a college class for middle schoolers on 3D modeling, and an outdoor adventure camp.
I don’t know when I’d let him just do nothing all summer. Maybe at 14 I’ll start doing less camps.
Anonymous
06/28/2019 09:00
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
Of course it depends on the child and I’m a bit helicopter-y, but I say 13. My son is 13 and if I WOH, I’d let him do it this summer (I WAH).
Anonymous
06/28/2019 08:55
Subject: When would you allow your kids to stay home all day every day in the summer?
I'm not asking when can a child stay home alone for short periods of time. I'm talking about a responsible kid who can definitely stay home alone for a few hours at a time. He's pretty introverted, so does not like camps, but parents work. He doesn't know other kids in the neighborhood. When would you let him spend the summer basically alone?