Like you said, next time just wear the baby. I don’t know why you think this is a problem you need to solve beyond that.

OP, maybe this is me being a very happy one and done mom (who could afford a few more kids), but it sounds like you’re a bit smug about having a second kid, so I’d recommend that you and your husband stay out of any family planning decisions your SIL and her H are making.

And in the future just say that your second child is not a toy to fight over, and they can both give her gentle touches and be on their way.

And if your SIL wants your niece to get over wanting a sibling, have her babysit a 1.5 year old who wants to take her daughter’s toys.

Good lord! OP you are an adult talking to two small children. You just tell them to stop their nonsense and behave themselves. You should also tell them that babies are not toys!

Good lord! OP you are an adult talking to two small children. You just tell them to stop their nonsense and behave themselves. You should also tell them that babies are not toys!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were scared? You cannot hold a baby strong enough that a 3 year old scared you? Are you not..... able to stand up and instantly be 2-3 times her height and thus beyond out of reach?!

Nasty unnecessary response. Go away.

This isn’t nasty or unnecessary. It’s logical!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were scared? You cannot hold a baby strong enough that a 3 year old scared you? Are you not..... able to stand up and instantly be 2-3 times her height and thus beyond out of reach?!

Nasty unnecessary response. Go away.

Oh, bull!

Well, it is his baby, technically, and he has every right to protect his baby sister and stop anyone from touching her. But, probably not for the reason he was doing so. Why didn't you carry your baby and walk away, and separate those 2? Seems like it could have been handled a lot better by you, the adult/parent before it escalated.

First I wouldn’t let any kids hold her. There is no second because I just solved the problem.

Holding her is not going to work for now, when both preschoolers are there. They can gently tickle her feet while a grown up holds her, until they learn not to fight over her.

This sounds like a one off incident that is unlikely to repeat. If it does, just calmly walk away with the baby (assuming another adult is there to monitor the older kids).

I would have told your son "Yes, she's YOUR baby sister but she's Cousin's baby cousin."

You and DH need to stay out of their family planning.

Everyone gets a turn holding the baby as long as the baby is content with it.

Anonymous wrote:You were scared? You cannot hold a baby strong enough that a 3 year old scared you? Are you not..... able to stand up and instantly be 2-3 times her height and thus beyond out of reach?!

Nasty unnecessary response. Go away.

You were scared? You cannot hold a baby strong enough that a 3 year old scared you? Are you not..... able to stand up and instantly be 2-3 times her height and thus beyond out of reach?!

Everyone, including little kids can only hold your infant while you are with them, for a set period of time. Then send the two kids off to play together. Obviously, adults can have the baby for longer if you want. The novelty for your niece will wear off soon.

At family gathering, my 3 year old niece wanted to play with my baby girl (4 months), but my 4 year old son wanted my niece to play with him instead & also blocked her from holding the baby, and claims "it is his!". Two kids fought whom baby belongs to, and then baby got upset & cried. My niece then went off crying & begged her parents for a baby/sibling, then somehow her parents had a little verbal fight (one wants 1 child only, one wants 2 kids) on spot saying who's fault was that. At the end, baby was at my hand, and no one can hold her anymore. At the end, parents encourage 2 kids to play together. Finally, everyone is happy.

It is not the first time I hear my niece asking for a baby since I was pregnant. SIL came to DH for help in persuading her husband for another child, but as an outsider, it is their big decision to made. They earn good money, but just one parent (BIL) think that raising 1 child is already expensive & exhausting. How can I prevent this fighting for baby from happening again next time? I mean, baby was scared the whole time, and I was scared that she got hurt by accident. I think I will just wear the baby the whole time next time if there are no other better choices.