Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about you. It’s about a child being included in her Fathers wedding. If/when you get remarried, is it ok for him to say she can’t go?

Doesn't sound like he'll get to weigh in since OP has full custody.

Unless he happens to take her on a trip that weekend. I’m sure he has visitation.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about you. It’s about a child being included in her Fathers wedding. If/when you get remarried, is it ok for him to say she can’t go?

Doesn't sound like he'll get to weigh in since OP has full custody.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you ask him what his childcare plans for her are during the event? If his response is that someone normal (a friend or relative that you know) will be watching her, hang out and take her home at 8:30. If his response is that he has no idea, say you think it won't work out unless he can arrange for someone to be responsible for her.

Should have included this in the OP... I did ask him about childcare plans and he said that the bride's mother would keep an eye on her. DD has never met the bride's mother.

Can you guys read?

OP says she has full legal and physical custody. There must be a reason for that, since most custody is shared nowadays.

It’s not about you. It’s about a child being included in her Fathers wedding. If/when you get remarried, is it ok for him to say she can’t go?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why there is NO ONE who will know or have connections to your daughter *at her dads wedding.”

???

Presumably because it's wedding #4 and all the relatives excused themselves.

OP, I don't know why others are criticizing. I would never let my three year old attend in the situation you describe.

Anonymous wrote:Why does she not know anyone at the wedding? Where are the grandparents and dhs siblings? I actually think your dd should attend the ceremony and wedding photos. Reception is not important at all for a toddler.

My daughter met her grandparents once at four months and has never met her dad's sister. But my guess is that they are not attending anyway.

I don’t understand why there is NO ONE who will know or have connections to your daughter *at her dads wedding.”

???

Can you show up, hand DD off for 15 minutes of introductions and pictures, and then take her home? The pictures will matter too her later in life, but there's no reason to make it a big event.

I agree that this isn’t your problem. Tell him he can have her all night and arrange for childcare/daycare drop off or not at all.

I was at my dad’s second wedding at age 3. It’s a happy memory. But my mom sure as f*** wasn’t chilling in a hotel bar. My dad and stepmom arranged for me.

When did you get divorced?

Why does she not know anyone at the wedding? Where are the grandparents and dhs siblings? I actually think your dd should attend the ceremony and wedding photos. Reception is not important at all for a toddler.

Why don't you ask him what his childcare plans for her are during the event? If his response is that someone normal (a friend or relative that you know) will be watching her, hang out and take her home at 8:30. If his response is that he has no idea, say you think it won't work out unless he can arrange for someone to be responsible for her.

So you were marriage #3 eh? I’m sure you’re not jealous but yes, you’re coming off as a b**ch. Just let her go. He has literally no custody? I’m not understanding.

On a scale of "meh" to "how dare you?!" how bad would it be if my DD didn't attend her dad's wedding? I truly do not care that her dad is remarrying, I just don't see why DD needs to be there. Here are my concerns:
1) DD is three. Someone needs to keep an eye on her. I imagine her dad and the bride might be busy. She will not know any other adults at the wedding.
2) DD usually goes to bed around 7:45. The reception starts at 7:30. DD is not invited to the ceremony beforehand. I would need to drop her off and pick her up at the reception location. I suppose I would pick her up by 8:45 at the latest, which means I probably hang out at the hotel bar for about an hour because it wouldn't make sense to drive all the way home.
3) The reception is on a weeknight. I have to get up for work the next day/wake up DD for daycare and would rather not deal with a cranky three-year-old if it could be avoided.

I recognize none of these are insurmountable hurdles, but I feel that I'm being inconvenienced so that ExH can show off DD as a prop at his reception. We don't have a bad relationship, but he certainly isn't doing me or our daughter any favors so I don't feel the need to be generous here. If having his daughter present at his reception was so important, he could have scheduled it during his regular time with her. Also, I know this will make me sound like a complete b*tch, but this is his fourth wedding. She can just attend the next one when she's a little older.

And because I know this will come up: Our custody agreement does not address special events. I have full legal and physical custody.

Now cue the posts saying that I'm just jealous my ExH is getting remarried.