Anonymous wrote:I would never want a son in law to call me mom. I'm not his mom...

Are you from Asia?!

I am confused by your post. Your ILS are Vietnamese, but your wife understand a little bit of that culture? Who is Vietnamese? Or are you Korean, or some other ethnicity?

I would never want a son in law to call me mom. I'm not his mom...

How did you address them before the wedding? If by fist name, just ask, "Joe and Mary, would you like/ be comfortable with me calling you mom and dad? You know that I love and respect you either way - just want to make sure I do not offend you..."

I want to use first names, they want me to say mom and dad. My solution is that I just don't address them. FIL is also called "Bobby" but some people call him "Bob" and I just don't know which I should use because when I asked, he just wanted "Dad". Sigh.

Married 15 years and you'd think I'd have this figured out by now. Mostly I just say grandma and grandpa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I imagine they’d prefer mom and dad. Some people would be insulted by the use of their first names.

+1 Especially since your wife will be calling your parents mom and dad. If I were your wife's mom and you call me Larla while my daughter is calling your mom "mom," it would not be a good scene. Trust me on this one.

He still needs to ask his wife (she knows her parents best and can even talk privately with her mom to confirm what they prefer.) Seriously, this is the easiest of easy conversations:

“Hey Larla, do you think your parents prefer that I call them mom/dad or first names? I’m happy to do either one!”

Anonymous wrote:I imagine they’d prefer mom and dad. Some people would be insulted by the use of their first names.

+1 Especially since your wife will be calling your parents mom and dad. If I were your wife's mom and you call me Larla while my daughter is calling your mom "mom," it would not be a good scene. Trust me on this one.

Ask your wife!

Most families use mom/dad or first names.

my I have alwast called my inlaws by their first name. calling them mom and dad seemed wierd to me.

my wife calles my parents by their first name.

BIL and SIL call their inlaws their their first name as well.

Ask your wife to find out from them what they want you to call them. And congratulations!

Can’t you just ask them what they’d prefer?

Anonymous wrote:I imagine they’d prefer mom and dad. Some people would be insulted by the use of their first names.

Huh? Yes use first names. That’s what my family does and what my parents did. No way would I call my in-laws Mom and Dad.

Ask your wife what they called (or call) their own in-laws. That might help you decide. You or she could also ask them directly what they prefer. If they want to be “Bob and Larla” and you jump to “Mom and Dad,” it could cause unnecessary awkwardness.

I imagine they’d prefer mom and dad. Some people would be insulted by the use of their first names.

Vietnamese guy recently married to a lovely white lady. In Vietnamese culture, I address my in-law parents as mom and dad, just like my own parents. My wife does understand a little bit of the Vietnamese culture so she will my parents as mom and dad. How shall I address my in-law? Should I greet them like “hi Joe and hi Mary” or “hi mom hi dad”? I get along great with both of them and we see them at least twice a week for dinners because my in-law has their own chef. TIA