Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lest anyone thinks this is a generational thing, it most definitely is not. I remember doing this as a kid and I had to deliberately retrain myself in my 20s. I'm in my 40s now and still watch my "umms."

I remember silently counting my dad’s “umm”s when he was on business calls in the ‘90s. Nothing new under the sun.

I have to force myself to allow a small silence and not "umm." I remind myself that it's okay to have a pause. Not everyone can speak fluidly all the time. It's still hard!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NIP. IT. IN. THE. BUD!
People sound less intelligent when they sprinkle these into their speech. If she stops, she will sound smarter, more polished, and distinguished from her peers.

Looking at you, Terry Gross! Stop saying "like"! It's so distracting and you are not 14!

I don't even like Terry Gross, but if I my kids can reach her level of success, who cares about the ummms.

Donald Trump is very successful. Do you want your child to speak like that? I really like Terry Gross’s show most of the time, but her “likes” are distracting and detracting.

10:58 PP.

Ok. Like moms and some dads, you like do this too? OK? I hear how you talk to your young children? And like everything is like a question? I mean like sometimes? You are like talking to like your kid, right? And you're talking in upspeak? And you're explaining everything very loudly to your child, right?

So. Yeah. This happens. Ok, so like I work with kids from elementary through high school? And, um, yeah, I hear this upspeak? But I also like hear this from like adults like their teachers? You know?

Umm, I guess no one umm really wants to you know sound authoritative or like confident? You know? Ok so I like have three teenagers? I um do try to you know correct them when I can but like mostly I just try to like literally model um the way that they should talk kind of?

Speaking class.

Seriously, I have some young professionals and they do this. Can’t send them out publcially. Like, what? Like this is totally important. Mmkay?

As a PP said, it's a placeholder. Training yourself to be okay with a gentle pause while you're speaking is hard since as a society we have gotten comfortable with these wasted words that are used to fill space. Try it, model it, encourage her to try it. I'm still not perfect, but became much more conscious of it when I took a class that had a public speaking component.

Anonymous wrote:Lest anyone thinks this is a generational thing, it most definitely is not. I remember doing this as a kid and I had to deliberately retrain myself in my 20s. I'm in my 40s now and still watch my "umms."

I remember silently counting my dad’s “umm”s when he was on business calls in the ‘90s. Nothing new under the sun.

I would let it go because people who are constantly correcting you are not fun to talk with, and it drives a wedge between you. I value closeness with my kids more than constantly correcting every little thing about them.

Anonymous wrote:NIP. IT. IN. THE. BUD!
People sound less intelligent when they sprinkle these into their speech. If she stops, she will sound smarter, more polished, and distinguished from her peers.

Looking at you, Terry Gross! Stop saying "like"! It's so distracting and you are not 14!

I don't even like Terry Gross, but if I my kids can reach her level of success, who cares about the ummms.

Lest anyone thinks this is a generational thing, it most definitely is not. I remember doing this as a kid and I had to deliberately retrain myself in my 20s. I'm in my 40s now and still watch my "umms."

Oh my god. I got so annoyed by this that EVERY SINGLE TIME when she was talking to me and used the word "like" I would say the word "like" back to her. It drove her CRAZY. She cut down significantly.

It took two days.

NIP. IT. IN. THE. BUD!
People sound less intelligent when they sprinkle these into their speech. If she stops, she will sound smarter, more polished, and distinguished from her peers.

Looking at you, Terry Gross! Stop saying "like"! It's so distracting and you are not 14!

I find it very annoying and point it on when my son does it. The umm is the worse.

Not a big deal. They grow out of it. We did.

Depending on the kid, you can point it out, especially for a relevant issue. If she has a presentation for school or an extra curricular activity, you can have her record herself and try to leave out the verbal filler she's using. I'd occasionally ask my kids "is she like your friend, or is she your friend?"

Most of use all sorts of repetitive language as place holders. It's not just kids. If you've interviewed someone for a job recently, how often did they say something like "That's a good question..." or some other pat phrase to give them a moment before launching into an answer?

DD, turning 12 soon, speaks with large amounts of the above words. Not a big deal? Grades / writing are great.