I agree that you should not be in the bed OP. Maybe don't stay over the nights she has her kid? Or sleep in a different space.

Can't be that long term if the child is 3.

I would be highly upset if I found out that my ex-husband was sleeping in bed with our young child and someone he's dating. Agree that's really inappropriate, whether a man or woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.

Multiple conversations have happened regarding this topic and there is a plan to get a big kid bed as a birthday gift real soon and transition them, but I totally agree with you. I'm just in the awkward place of not being the kids parent and not making the rules.

If the kid's there you should be on the couch. Totally inappropriate.

THIS and think long and hard about this mom's judgement if you continue seeing her and have kids with her. We coslept at times and this situation is really NOT OK. Don't be stupid. If she has you in bed with her kid, who is she going to have in bed with your kid with her???

Agree the mom's judgment is SERIOUSLY off if she thinks this is ok. Seriously?

You should not be in the bed, Op. It’s highly inappropriate. And you should also not be judging the mom for cosleeping with a small child or demanding the child transition to a big kid bed to accommodate you. Many kids have high emotional need for connection with parents at night and feel more secure and sleep better in their parent’s beds. Especially those who are away from their parents during the day, or are dealing with stress (like mom dating a new guy, ahem, or parents who have separated or divorced at a young age.) If you envision yourself being in this child’s life as a parent figure, being the reason he or she doesn’t get to snuggle and feel safe with mommy at night is starting off that relationship on a crappy foot. You need to develop more empathy if you are going to be a stepparent or parental figure. The kid is 4, not 13.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.

Multiple conversations have happened regarding this topic and there is a plan to get a big kid bed as a birthday gift real soon and transition them, but I totally agree with you. I'm just in the awkward place of not being the kids parent and not making the rules.

If the kid's there you should be on the couch. Totally inappropriate.

THIS and think long and hard about this mom's judgement if you continue seeing her and have kids with her. We coslept at times and this situation is really NOT OK. Don't be stupid. If she has you in bed with her kid, who is she going to have in bed with your kid with her???

Anonymous wrote:It is a hard habit to break.

The snuggle is real.

Don't sleep there when she has her child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.

Multiple conversations have happened regarding this topic and there is a plan to get a big kid bed as a birthday gift real soon and transition them, but I totally agree with you. I'm just in the awkward place of not being the kids parent and not making the rules.

If the kid's there you should be on the couch. Totally inappropriate.

I don't judge the co-sleeping, since we have a 6yr old who regularly climbs in our bed.

However, agree with the PPs that I would never dream of sleeping with another person's child like that.

Anonymous wrote:As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.

Multiple conversations have happened regarding this topic and there is a plan to get a big kid bed as a birthday gift real soon and transition them, but I totally agree with you. I'm just in the awkward place of not being the kids parent and not making the rules.

I would not sleep in the same bed as my spouse's DC, and I am a stepmother. When I became involved with my DH I could see that DH's daughters often slept in his bed and I expressed that at some point I felt it was inappropriate. I never stayed over at his house when the girls were there and it wasn't until we were engaged that I moved in with him with one proviso ... the girls had to sleep in their own beds. No way would I ever (if I were a man) sleep in a bed with someone else's children, never. Grow a spine.

As this lady's ex, I don't think I would be OK with my child sleeping in a bed with you.

It is a hard habit to break.

The snuggle is real.

I am in a long-term committed relationship with someone who has her kid a little more than half of the week. The kid is almost 4 and still sleeps in the bed with us on the days they are at the house. Needless to say the sleep on those nights is not the best. What is everyone thoughts on this. Prior to me, it was easier for her to have the kid sleeping with her and just never changed.