Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a remorseful cheating a-hole XDH who agreed to give up the house/equity and we kept our own retirement plans. Guess who had to quit (or get fired), dummy XDH.

So what? Why would that effect you after you divorce?

BC he has no retirement anymore and didn’t get any of mine. That’s why.

And him NOT getting any of yours affects you how?

The OP asked about not always getting 50/50. I was responding to the question. You should really chill out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a remorseful cheating a-hole XDH who agreed to give up the house/equity and we kept our own retirement plans. Guess who had to quit (or get fired), dummy XDH.

So what? Why would that effect you after you divorce?

BC he has no retirement anymore and didn’t get any of mine. That’s why.

And him NOT getting any of yours affects you how?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a remorseful cheating a-hole XDH who agreed to give up the house/equity and we kept our own retirement plans. Guess who had to quit (or get fired), dummy XDH.

So what? Why would that effect you after you divorce?

BC he has no retirement anymore and didn’t get any of mine. That’s why.

Anonymous wrote:I had a remorseful cheating a-hole XDH who agreed to give up the house/equity and we kept our own retirement plans. Guess who had to quit (or get fired), dummy XDH.

So what? Why would that effect you after you divorce?

Anonymous wrote:Why would you think you would get more than half of anything? Did you come into the marriage with significantly more assets? That is pretty much the only way that you will leave with more than half of what you now have.

It's not that simple.

My divorce lawyer told me "you'll never know what will happen when you go before a judge". I was in a community property state, and received 75%. Also, my ex didn't fight anything. At the time I wasn't working, whereby ex had a very good job. My sil got divorced, a homemaker with a home paid off with one retirement. Both fought tooth and nail because it was centered around cheating. The judge awarded her the home. She took less of the retirement, but it wasn't that much. Also, he pissed the judge off by canceling his wife's health insurance. Another friend a few years back received alimony until she re-marries because of a bum knee. (disability). Neither saw that one coming except her lawyer.

I had a remorseful cheating a-hole XDH who agreed to give up the house/equity and we kept our own retirement plans. Guess who had to quit (or get fired), dummy XDH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a lawyer seriously

Have a lawyer

Can’t get a straight answer

because have to factor in so many entities of assets, pension, 401k, rental properties... it is so much you would not think someone goes after but they do

its by law

its no straight answer, it is cater to you

Why would you think you would get more than half of anything? Did you come into the marriage with significantly more assets? That is pretty much the only way that you will leave with more than half of what you now have.

Anonymous wrote:Not Op, but about how much does a simple divorce (no kids) cost in Virginia? I know lawyers can run up all kinds of bills, but just trying to get a realistic idea of how much it costs? Thanks!

I spent about $5k for mediation and a lawyer to give some advice and turn our mediation agreement into actual divorce paperwork and finalize everything. I do have kids, but custody was not contentious.

It doesn’t have to be 50-50 if both parties agree and it’s not egregiously unfair. My ex and I agreed to each keep our own retirement accounts and pensions. I had more, and my pension will be higher, but the hassle of splitting out what predated our marriage, guessing the future values of pensions, etc was a hassle. My ex hates hassle-so he proposed it (I was expecting to owe him a significant amount.)

It depends.

Marital Home

Did you buy it together after you were married with community assets? Equal split.
Did you buy it together after you were married with separate property assets (inheritance, pre-marital savings)? Skewed split.
Did one party own it prior to marriage and the other party moved in before or at the time of marriage? Skewed split.
Etc, etc...

The equity accrued from DOM to DOS is community property. Everything else is separate property. You may need to do a forensic tracing if there is a separate property component to the home (or other large marital asset like stocks or art collections).

Spousal Support Payments

Your lawyer will be able to run a calculation as to what the state guidelines are. This is a 10-20min process but it requires accurate financial disclosures from both parties. If you both make the same money then it's likely you could agree to both waive SS.

Child Custody & Support

Do you have kids? If so, you should insist on 50/50 custody and accept nothing less. This is something you will go to absolute scorched earth war over. As with SS, if you have 50/50 custody and your incomes are truly equal, there will likely be only a very small amount of support if any at all.

Pensions

You are each entitled to 50% of the other's pension from DOM to DOS. Make sure your lawyer gets this info and you know the value of both your pensions. You will have to have an attorney draft an order to divide these.

Personal Items[u]

Furniture, household items, cars, boats, etc... unless something was clearly owned prior to marriage, then just divide this all up and don't belabor the points.

Good luck and I hope it goes quickly for you.

Anonymous wrote:Get a lawyer seriously

Have a lawyer

Can’t get a straight answer

Not Op, but about how much does a simple divorce (no kids) cost in Virginia? I know lawyers can run up all kinds of bills, but just trying to get a realistic idea of how much it costs? Thanks!

Get a lawyer seriously

So when a marriage goes theu divorce in Virginia is it always 50-50 split? When does one spouse get more? Assuming dual income couple with roughly equal income.