Are the pool parties at someone’s home? A County pool with a hefty admission fee? A local pool with a nominal guest fee? My answer would differ depending on the situation.

House pool party: Either DH comes, too, or you just take 7yo alone.

Fairfax Water Mine: Expensive + guest limits—just you and 7yo

Local pool club: Either DH comes, too, or you just take 7yo.

(Ages 7, 5, 4 seems like a lot to supervise around water if solo-parenting.)

Anonymous wrote:No I wouldn't up the gift amount. Can you really watch 3 little kids at the pool though? We have home birthday parties and do invite siblings just because it doesn't cost me more money really. The parents coming is where the bulk of my cost is (parents eat more and drink sodas/beer)

I think most parents of 3 kids, especially when all 3 are past toddlerhood, are able to take their kids to the pool.

Anonymous wrote:I would just ... not bring the siblings.

+1

I wouldn't up the gift, but I would consider returning the favor and inviting siblings to your kids' parties.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m a believer in positive reinforcement. This host is now hosting your two extra children so your spouse can do whatever they need to do, and you don’t have to find a babysitter, or whatever. I think it’s a kindness to include everyone, and I reward that by giving a little extra.

+1

No, just keep it the same.

I guess I’m a believer in positive reinforcement. This host is now hosting your two extra children so your spouse can do whatever they need to do, and you don’t have to find a babysitter, or whatever. I think it’s a kindness to include everyone, and I reward that by giving a little extra.

No, because the gift is not the price of admission. You should a gift that costs whatever you want to and feel comfortable spending.

No I wouldn't up the gift amount. Can you really watch 3 little kids at the pool though? We have home birthday parties and do invite siblings just because it doesn't cost me more money really. The parents coming is where the bulk of my cost is (parents eat more and drink sodas/beer)

I never would even think about this. I think your typical gift is fine OP.

Anonymous wrote:I have twins, and when they are both invited to a party I spend twice the amount I would spend if only one was invited. (Approximately, since not all gifts are the same price). I'm not sure what I'd do for siblings that weren't friends with the birthday child (my children know all the kids in both classes at their school so they're friends with everyone even if they're not in their class). When I invite siblings to my kids' birthday party (or parties, if they do separate), sometimes I get cards from all the siblings, and sometimes not. I never stop to consider how much any gift costs because I don't care what people spend, so I have no idea if the names on the card reflects the cost of the gift or not. Honestly, anyone who dickers over the amount someone spends on a gift is not someone I want to be friends with, so I figure you're good to spend whatever you feel comfortable spending, and if the host is unhappy, then you've saved yourself from being friends with a yucky person.

This. When I include siblings in parties, I do it because I know it often makes logistics easier for families. I'm certainly not expecting anything for that in return.

I have twins, and when they are both invited to a party I spend twice the amount I would spend if only one was invited. (Approximately, since not all gifts are the same price). I'm not sure what I'd do for siblings that weren't friends with the birthday child (my children know all the kids in both classes at their school so they're friends with everyone even if they're not in their class). When I invite siblings to my kids' birthday party (or parties, if they do separate), sometimes I get cards from all the siblings, and sometimes not. I never stop to consider how much any gift costs because I don't care what people spend, so I have no idea if the names on the card reflects the cost of the gift or not. Honestly, anyone who dickers over the amount someone spends on a gift is not someone I want to be friends with, so I figure you're good to spend whatever you feel comfortable spending, and if the host is unhappy, then you've saved yourself from being friends with a yucky person.

I would just ... not bring the siblings.

No need to buy a gift outside of what you would typically spend.

My 7 year old has been invited to a few upcoming birthday parties (they happen to all be pool parties, FWIW). The hosts kindly noted on the invitations that siblings are welcome. My 7 year old has two siblings, ages 5 and 4. I would never bring siblings without expressly being invited, as they have been to these upcoming parties. My question is, should I "up" the gift I bring to the birthday kid, since I'm bringing two additional kids?

Typically I give a $25-30 Amazon or Target gift card for birthday parties like these, where the birthday kid is a schoolmate, but not a close friend or family member. Would you up the amount to $40? $50 seems overkill, but I'm curious to get opinions. Or do what I would normally do for the gift, regardless of whether or not siblings are invited?

Your thoughts?