OP here. Sorry I don't think I was clear. I found it deeply weird that, when I was following up on references, some parent employers chose to point out that their nanny had never taken a sick day and had never once been late!

Now I'm not American. I'm European. So I was wondering whether it was a cultural thing that I needed to be mindful of when I'm providing her with her a reference in the future.

To me, being late is forgivable. She has been 15 minutes late once this whole year, and she works for us full-time. I have been late to get home and relieve her twice in the same period (again, no more than 15 minutes late).

The most important qualities for me in a nanny are kindness and honesty. My daughter loves her and I trust her. I would also describe her as very reliable, but not this rigid 100% timeliness. She's human, not a fricking robot as some on the parents on this forum seem to expect!

Thanks for the guidance though - there's no reason to quote statistics when I'm providing references in the future! I will just describe her as "highly reliable"!

NP. How many sick days a nanny takes and number of times late are definitely things I ask during the reference check. Reliability is important to us.

Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for advice about finding my nanny a great new family after we leave DC at the end of the year.

When I was interviewing nannies and following up on references, I noticed several referees acclaimed that their nanny candidate had never taken a day of sick leave. Which I find very strange in hindsight. We give our nanny 2 weeks sick leave a year and she's free to take more if necessary. She's generally ill about twice a year with colds. She was off for a week with the flu this winter. This does not bother me at all, because I absolutely do not want a sick nanny taking care of my baby.

But will this hurt her chances in finding a new job? I feel I'd have to be absolutely honest with prospective new employers.

Also with the punctuality question - she is on time 95% of the time. This is actually better than me when it comes to my job! But occasionally she's late because she has a long drive and traffic can be a bit unpredictable. Again I feel I have to be completely honest but I don't want to hurt her chances.

If she's truly on time 95% of the time and took the sick leave you provided for actual illnesses, then you don't have to say anything at all. In fact, to call out that she was sick seems like it could violate the ADA and similar state laws.

Now, different employers do have different timeliness standards. I'm flexible, so I have never demanded my nannies be 100% on time, because it's not necessary. But my nanny share family was not flexible about start times, so they immediately told our nanny the first time she was late that she was expected to be 100% punctual. Which she was from that point on. So the important thing is that the nanny conforms to job requirements -- which in your case, she did.

After 7-8 years employing babysitters and nannies, I've come to the conclusion that there is no perfect nanny. If your #1 requirement is that your nanny never, ever gets sick or stuck in traffic, then you're going to have to compromise on other qualities that may be important.

Anonymous wrote:First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

Wow. You're extremely terrible. People get sick -- you're going to tank her job prospects because of that? You clearly found her an acceptable nanny in core respects, because you LET HER take those days off. Which gave her the message that her behavior was fine! And now you're going to penalize her for doing something normal that you said she could do? WFT, seriously? If you can't give her a good recommendation, then don't give any recommendation at all.

And in DC anyway, paid sick leave applies to part-time employees, not just full-time. So you're wrong on the law too.

Yes, if you mention in your reference that she gets sick and is occasionally like 5% of the time late, this will hurt her chances, because by mentioning it you are giving it importance over other aspects. I also hired nannies, asked for references and provided references and either the person mention how their nanny was always on time and never took sick leave or they talked about other aspects. If someone asks you directly did she ever get sick, then sure say she had flu and took week off, and you were happy she did cause you don’t want someone with flu around your kid.

The being late 5% of the time, there is just no excuse for it. I had nannies drive longish distances to get to our house and we’re never late, not once.

You offer lower salary and pto. If they don't take PTO you pay it to them it's a win win

You can be honest but not exceedingly detailed about the things you perceive as negative. For being sick, you can say she never took more than her leave. For punctuality, you can say that she exceeded your expectations. If you are going to be so specific about negative things, then be just as specific about the positives and list every occurrence of her being there for your kids.

Our nanny of 3 years took 5 days of sick leave total. She was super healthy. She had 5 days a year paid sick leave and additional PTO which she didn't take and got it paid out instead. The sick leave was use or lose but she was just very healthy and vigilant and late maybe 3 times also with a long commute. The timelines and health was definitely something I emphasized when I was called for references.

Anonymous wrote:First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

Goodness you sound like a nightmare employer.

So you would tell someone calling for a reference that your nanny was late 5% of the time due to traffic? That she got sick on the job and took leave? Do you hate your nanny?!

When someone calls for a reference you explain what kind of nanny she was. You highlight all her good qualities and move along. If you can’t do this, let her know so she can find someone who is actually capable and has common sense to give her a reference.

I think Nannies should get double sick leave considering how much direct exposure they have to germs on a regular basis.

Anonymous wrote:First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

That's an average of one day per month. How is that an issue? Nannies are human.

I don’t see how the sick time would even come up. You gave her PTO and she took it.

Our nanny has never once been late. Not in three years. It was absolutely something that her previous employers raved (and marveled at) when I spoke to them. If your nanny truly is I frequently late just mention it.

First, as a full time domestic employee she’s entitled to sick leave.

However, my part time nanny, who’s hours didn’t rise to the level of qualifying for sick leave, took 9 days (only one of which I didn’t pay for) from November to June. I expect she will want a good referral from me. I fully intend to state that I needed reliable care (so we are doing the post-school care provided through the county).

If I ever followed up on a future candidate you better believe this is my first question. Your nanny wouldn’t get a second interview from me.

I'm looking for advice about finding my nanny a great new family after we leave DC at the end of the year.

When I was interviewing nannies and following up on references, I noticed several referees acclaimed that their nanny candidate had never taken a day of sick leave. Which I find very strange in hindsight. We give our nanny 2 weeks sick leave a year and she's free to take more if necessary. She's generally ill about twice a year with colds. She was off for a week with the flu this winter. This does not bother me at all, because I absolutely do not want a sick nanny taking care of my baby.

But will this hurt her chances in finding a new job? I feel I'd have to be absolutely honest with prospective new employers.

Also with the punctuality question - she is on time 95% of the time. This is actually better than me when it comes to my job! But occasionally she's late because she has a long drive and traffic can be a bit unpredictable. Again I feel I have to be completely honest but I don't want to hurt her chances.