Marriage to the right person is great. I'm married to my best friend who I have phenomenal sex with whenever I want. It's pretty great. I have no complaints.

I think it depends if you find the right man. I absolutely love my husband. He’s close to perfect for me. I love snuggling with him at night, being silly with and laughing a lot, and we have a good sex life too. We were extremely lucky to find each other early in life (college). So I say it’s worth it if you find the right person with whom you want to spend every day of the rest of your life.

At your age, if you don’t want kids and are financially stable, I wouldn’t get married unless he was the exact same. And then I’d probably have a prenup.

Meh. I’m 42 and child free also. I have been married for 7 years, together for 14. We got married because we wanted to, easier for financial reasons and medical reasons. Whilst I love my relationship, I could take or leave the married part. It doesn’t personally add anything to our relationship that we didn’t already have before marriage. So I think the quality of the relationship is more important than being married.

I was so unhappy in Marriage#1. It was a special type of hell.

I’m very happy in Marriage #2 because I have an awesome DH. However, I was very reluctant to remarry, dragged my heels, and only caved because it was so deeply important to him that we make that commitment. I miss aspects of single life in a way that I don’t miss pre-kid life. Not dating, but the freedom to make unilateral life decisions.

As other posters mentioned, it’s a different being married in 20’s and building a life and having kids together versus remarriage for both and you both have young kids or one person is divorced with older kids and gets remarried to someone with no kids/never been married. The challenges are different and why you would still choose marriage despite the challenges might be different. The bottom line though is if you find a situation and person where you feel the benefits outweigh the costs, then it’s worth it.

I’m happily married but wouldn’t bother if I planned to stay childless.

DCUM is going to give you the wrong idea about marriage, because it is full of women incessantly complaining about their husbands. The women who are happy and have no complaints are much less likely to post anything.

The divorce rate among college educated people is actually pretty low, so you are contemplating marriage with people who have already proven to be high risk. And, if they already have kids, they bring an extra level of complications that put stress on a marriage. You are right to be careful.

However, as the PP said, that is different than a first marriage when both people are just starting out. I met my husband in my early twenties, married him in my late twenties, and we built our family and our careers together for two decades before getting to your age. It was a wonderful experience and the help and support was very valuable to both of us. If something were to happen and either one of us remarried at this point, our next marriage would be different. Not necessarily unhappy, but definitely not as integral to the people we are. That may be what you are picking up on, OP. You are looking at a marriage that is about sharing a life that is largely built rather than a marriage based on building a life together. Make sure you are comparing apples to apples when trying to figure out if a situation will make you happy.

Anonymous wrote:There have been lots of studies showing that marriage makes men happier but women unhappier. Personally, I’m very happy with my marriage bc even though it’s hard at times, I feel like my husband inspires me to be a better person, and I do the same for him.

Those studies are all b.s or clickbait. https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness

Studies also show kids make people unhappy, as does grad school and other things you have to work at that make a life meaningful.

Marriage has its benefits and detriments, with whom you are married to determinant as to whether its worth it.

There have been lots of studies showing that marriage makes men happier but women unhappier. Personally, I’m very happy with my marriage bc even though it’s hard at times, I feel like my husband inspires me to be a better person, and I do the same for him.

If I were you, I’d probably ask this question to people who were in your situation — never married before marrying a divorced person with kids. It’s not exactly the same situation as those who were both single without kids when they married, or those that were both divorced and then remarried. There are different issues here, which might get lost in the greater discussion of marriage in general.

Do you have other family members around whom you can spend time with as you age and turn to for help when you need it?

Marriage makes me happy because I love my husband. But it’s not the 1950’s, you don’t need the institution of marriage (obviously!).

Single 42 year old woman here. Have had several long term relationships that came close to marriage but decided things weren't quite right for marriage. I've always wanted to be married and I've tried to find the right partner. Now at my age I am mostly dating people who are divorced. And I am seeing my friends in marriage once the honeymoon stage has worn off. I'm OK with not having kids. And now I'm kind of wondering… What's a great about being married? Should I? Or is it kind of overrated? Maybe it's because I'm dating people his life situations are complicated now. I enjoy their company. But I really want to legally and financially wed myself to someone who has kids to put through college? Etc? And the divorce rate for second marriage is very high. Does marriage really make women happier?