The worst is yet to come.

Young children don't *need* activities unless they are extremely energetic, have special needs, or are showing precocious talent.

But in our "whole child, not just grades" society, middle and high schoolers need at least one, if not more, extra-curriculars to show colleges what they've been doing outside of school. By that time, they've got their favorite hobbies and beg you to keep doing X, Y and Z. For these older kids, some activities can start at 5am, or go until 10pm. Someone has to drive/carpool until they can reliably drive themselves to them. With multiple kids in a family at that stage, you get the feeling you're flying by the seat of your pants every season, all school year. And then there are the intensives/specialty camps in summer, to polish your skills... for the more expensive sports, we're talking tens of thousands of dollars a year.

So bide your time and save your money, parents of young children. Soon no one will have dinner at the same time and weekends will be on the road...

I have 3 kids and I basically feel the same way.
I should try to be better about carpooling.

Now if I feel like something is going to be really hard to make, I just say no whereas before I might have tried to do it all. Sometimes I relish when everything is canceled for rain!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competing for busy is seemingly a DC badge of honor in a game I don’t want to play. I want room for impromptu events and unstructured play. Praying that as our LO gets older we don’t fall into the trap!

That's why we left DC. I tried to schedule playdates and people were busy for the next SIX WEEKS! No thanks.

Op here. We try to do play dates and attend birthday parties. I make it happen even if it is inconvenient. We can easily say we are busy every weekend because we truly are. Today we got together with OUR friends because it has been months since we have gotten together. Thank god Soccer is over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competing for busy is seemingly a DC badge of honor in a game I don’t want to play. I want room for impromptu events and unstructured play. Praying that as our LO gets older we don’t fall into the trap!

That's why we left DC. I tried to schedule playdates and people were busy for the next SIX WEEKS! No thanks.

It depends on your circle, I guess. Today we had an impromptu playdate with 15 minutes’ notice. It was great. I think one or two activities per week is good. Unstructured time is also good.

Anonymous wrote:Competing for busy is seemingly a DC badge of honor in a game I don’t want to play. I want room for impromptu events and unstructured play. Praying that as our LO gets older we don’t fall into the trap!

That's why we left DC. I tried to schedule playdates and people were busy for the next SIX WEEKS! No thanks.

Just do whatever works for you - stop worrying about other people. We're super busy almost all the time, but we thrive this way.

About once every 4-6 weeks someone says they want to stay home and we'll have an afternoon or day of just lounging around the house.

Competing for busy is seemingly a DC badge of honor in a game I don’t want to play. I want room for impromptu events and unstructured play. Praying that as our LO gets older we don’t fall into the trap!

I think its the household.. I have friends with one kid who are busy with dance, sport, language etc. Then another family with 2 kids who don't seem to have as hectic life. I have one kid and we have opted out of the busy and suffering olympics long time back.

It depends on the child and the family. Some of them just need to get their ya-ya's out, like my oldest. My younger is more low-key and is happy with less scheduling.

No need to compare yourself to others, what's right for your child is not right for mine, and vice versa. You do you. I'll do me.

Just keep doing what's best for your family. And let others do the same.

Anonymous wrote:Decline the birthday parties unless they’re really close friends. Take the summers off- no sports - mom needs a summer “break” too. Use the tennis money to take a family vacation or hire a sitter for some regular recharge time.

I’m a sahm with 3 kids ages 5 and under and I’m regularly shocked by how overscheduled other sahms are. The whole reason I’m not working right now is to *simplify* the schedule and *enjoy* the younger years with the kids. Not race all over town to multiple activities/camps all day. At the expense of younger ones’ nap schedules. Not to mention the drain on finances while we’re on one income; stressful. No thanks. We hang out at the pool. Go to some indoor playgrounds when we feel like it. And take a couple beach vacations. Easy breezy free-range summer.

I could have written this post.

It's too much when you write a post like this.

Decline the birthday parties unless they’re really close friends. Take the summers off- no sports - mom needs a summer “break” too. Use the tennis money to take a family vacation or hire a sitter for some regular recharge time.

I’m a sahm with 3 kids ages 5 and under and I’m regularly shocked by how overscheduled other sahms are. The whole reason I’m not working right now is to *simplify* the schedule and *enjoy* the younger years with the kids. Not race all over town to multiple activities/camps all day. At the expense of younger ones’ nap schedules. Not to mention the drain on finances while we’re on one income; stressful. No thanks. We hang out at the pool. Go to some indoor playgrounds when we feel like it. And take a couple beach vacations. Easy breezy free-range summer.

Skip tennis.

We have 3 kids and feel insanely busy in a bad way. I don’t think each of my children is too busy but getting them to play dates, sports and birthday parties on Saturday is getting to be too much. Everyone we know with 2 or more kids have a ton going on on Saturdays.

My kids are wrapping up with soccer and starting tennis. Thank god we are not doing swim team this summer but many of our friends are doing swim team too.

How much is too much? Is it per kid or per household?