Anonymous wrote:I’m interested to know if in hindsight parents think that intensive sports were worth it. Especially if the kid stopped playing after HS.

This. We spent so much money on coaches and lessons and we aren't the crazy sports parents. Our kids have no hope on a college team unless it is a small, very unimpressive school. This is the standard for better than average students in many sports. I've watched closesly how this plays out for about decade and I've seen that most of the top, most promising athletes end up with little or no time in college playing their sport and only the tiniest % of kids ever play professionally. American kids, in general, don't realize how many international students compete in college. I have so many anecdotes. The absolute worst cases are the kids who commit to really poor colleges. I have so many examples in football, soccer, tennis, lacrosse. The kid will be a star in high school in Virginia and may even be the best in the sport in the state. Some of those kids get a partial scholarship at a good diii school but then never play their first few years and are off the time by sophmore or junior year.

Model for them good habits, high morals and loving relationships at home. They emulate you for the rest of their lives

Read to them from the time they are born.

Spend time with them. Quality and Quantity both matters.

* their

Anonymous wrote:Don't try to control or strongly influence them in ANY WAY once they are outside the home. They will hate you for it and distance themselves from you.

You can’t control their actions true, but you can give them a strong value system to rely on. Give them a sense of self worth so they make better decisions as teens/ adults.

Remember, kids see everything and form there sense of right and wrong by watching YOU. Set a good example.

The trying times will pass. Love them no matter what. Have expectations for them, make them part of your “normal”.

Take advice from parents with kids who are happy & successful. They did something right.

I chuckle every time the parents of kids who have dropped out of college, live at home at 30 and have zero ambition/ self worth are quick to give advice.

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested to know if in hindsight parents think that intensive sports were worth it. Especially if the kid stopped playing after HS.

Yes, for my kids. For DS, but he is still playing in college. It gives him opportunity to earn extra cash over summer. He can give privates in his sport and charge around $50 per hour.

Not quite there yet, kids 20 and 17, in college. Good students though. I would have thought them to clean the house better. Other than that, I would have hugged them more when young and played with them more and while I think I was always there for them, I wish I did more hugs, love and just overlooked some bad behaviors.

I have pre-teens, but I am a professor who has worked almost exclusively with undergraduates for 20 years. I would say the most important thing is to emphasize self-care.

Make sure that your children see you prioritizing adequate sleep, healthy eating (everything in moderation!!!), fresh air, exercise, and caring friendships. It's not just telling your kids these things, but also living it. From my observation, it's really the lack of sleep--made significantly worse bc of electronics--that is so crucial.

I’m interested to know if in hindsight parents think that intensive sports were worth it. Especially if the kid stopped playing after HS.

Keep the phone in the kitchen overnight.

Anonymous wrote:Don't try to control or strongly influence them in ANY WAY once they are outside the home. They will hate you for it and distance themselves from you.

Your parents failed. Next.

Anonymous wrote:Don't try to control or strongly influence them in ANY WAY once they are outside the home. They will hate you for it and distance themselves from you.

I’m beginning to see this myself with my 15 year old.

Don't try to control or strongly influence them in ANY WAY once they are outside the home. They will hate you for it and distance themselves from you.

If your kids have already flown the coop, what advice would you give to those of us still raising kids. Anything that you wish you had done differently? Is there anything that you felt you put too much emphasis on, or alternatively didn’t emphasize enough?